Where the Grass is Greener
by FlowerPot21
Summary: Warrick and Sara try and find some middle ground together after Sara has a break down.
1. Chapter One

Where the Grass is Greener

The suicide death of Amelia Ruben was rather upsetting for Sara. It had affected her more than usual. Sara had worked many suicide cases throughout her career, and most never bothered her as much. For some reason, this particular one brought back some rather disturbing images that Sara wished she could forget. The depths of loneliness went deeper than she thought. It was like a trench in the ocean; dark, narrow, suffocating, endless; it's true depth remaining a mystery, and open to one curious soul who dared enter it.

As Sara walked through the halls of the Las Vegas Crime Lab, she saw the sun's early rays flooding the hallways with tender, warm, refreshing light. It had been a long time since she saw the sun rise. Either it was that, or she never paid that much attention to it. Now that she actually caught it, it was the most beautiful thing she'd seen in the last twelve hours. It was too bad for Amelia Ruben that she could not wake up to witness another morn.

Sara sighed and then she went to the locker room. She went to her appointed locker and retrieved her things. She shrugged on her jacket, knowing that it would still be a bit cool outside, and then she slung her purse over her shoulder. It was funny how people thought it was strange that she carried a purse. Sara was rather perturbed by it. She was just as feminine as the next woman. It was a little known fact however that she did like purses. She had several of them with various styles and names. She shook her head at how little people actually knew of her. Most of what Grissom thought her knew about her were assumptions, making him hypocritical to his own statement: "Assume nothing". 

She closed her locker and headed out. Just as she was going out, Warrick walked in, looking as despondent as she.

"Hey girl," he said cordially, despite his obvious downcast mood. "You going home?"

"Um, no actually," Sara said casually. "I was going to go get some real coffee and a pastry."

Warrick nodded, uninterested, but not intentionally. 

"Would you like to join me?" She asked.

Truth be told, Warrick was not in the mood for coffee. He was not in the mood to be around anybody either. Especially Sara. She looked like she had been in La-La land all night. He noticed that she had not been all there while they were working. He wasn't sure what it was…she just looked preoccupied. She was able to do her work diligently, but while they were examining a scene, she looked at him in ways that scared him. She had never looked at him like she did. And it scared him. It scared him because she looked at Grissom that way.

"Hello? I don't have all morning," she chuckled. "Do you want to go grab some coffee?"

Warrick decided, out of conscience, that he should share a cup of coffee with her.

"Yeah," he said. "I'll meet you in the parking lot in a few minutes."

She nodded then turned around and left. She had changed, and he noticed. It wasn't drastic change, but it was definitely something. Her mannerisms changed, her hair was shorter, and she was quieter than usual. He wondered if she was still upset about the whole promotion thing. That was probably what it was, he figured. Sometimes, Sara just had to let things go. Then again, she and Catherine had never been the best of friends, and they hadn't worked on a case together since the college kid. That was the only time in which they were civil; collaboration.

He grabbed his bag out of his locker and closed it. 

When he got out to the parking lot, Sara was leaning against her car, patiently waiting for him. 

"Where are we going?" Warrick asked.

"Starbuck's," she said. 

"Okay, I'll be right behind you," he said.

Sara nodded and got in her car. She threw her things to the back and started the engine. She sighed and leaned back into her seat. She got the feeling that Warrick really didn't want to go, but he said yes because he would feel bad if he didn't. That pissed her off. If he didn't want to go, he should have said no. Now she knew that he would spend the morning kicking himself in the head for going. All because he felt bad. That was not what Sara wanted; she didn't want anyone to have a conversation over coffee with someone that went out of the goodness of their heart. She wanted someone that really wanted to talk. Either way, she still had someone to talk to, so her frustration was moot.

She pulled out of the parking lot, and she could see Warrick following behind. Sara focused on the road. Traffic was pretty hectic for seven thirty. It wasn't even time for rush hour. People tended to get dangerous in cars; especially when they were in a hurry. Sara turned on the radio. News of Amelia Ruben's suicide was out. It was tragic. In homage to the wife of Miles Ruben, the stations played his hit song, "Amelia". This was the first time Sara had heard it. She sighed. She'd been doing a lot of that lately; sighing. Sometimes for no reason, she just sighed. 

After about fifteen minutes, she and Warrick made it to Starbuck's. It wasn't crowded, and they would get the strongest and freshest coffee of the day. Sara emerged from her car and waited until Warrick met up with her and they walked in together.

Sara told Warrick to find a table while she ordered their coffee. She ordered a scone; her guilty pleasure. She thought they were the most delicious pastry. 

When their orders came, she sat down and she gave Warrick his coffee.

"Thanks," he said.

"You're welcome," she said half-heartedly. She took the top off of her coffee to fix it the way she liked it. Strong, French Vanilla crème, two sugars. Equal brand.

Then, she cut her scone in half and buttered each half. This was her morning ritual. Only Warrick knew of her new routine before going home after a shift. Every morning, she came to Starbuck's, ordered the same thing, repeated the same process to get things the way she liked them.

"You know the reason I come here is because it makes me seem less lonely," Sara said, focusing on buttering her scone just right.

Warrck looked at her. "Why are you lonely?"

Sara shrugged. "Coming here, just kind of let's me know that there is civilization outside my apartment."

Warrick nodded and looked away while sipping his coffee.

"Want half a scone?" She asked.

"No thanks," he said. "I never liked pastries."

Sara nodded. She did see him chomping down on a jelly doughnut not too long ago, though. Maybe a pastry to him is an every once in a while thing. 

"Sara, what's wrong?" Warrick asked in concern. "You've been acting so weird lately."

Sara sighed a heavy sigh and sank into her seat. "I know," she said while stirring her coffee, which she hadn't sipped yet. "There's a lot of things on my mind."

"Like what?" Warrick asked, picking up his coffee for another cautious sip.

"I don't know," she said, looking up at the ceiling. "My past, for one. This case brought up a lot of old issues."

Warrick nodded, not wanting to pry. He would let her do the talking. That was her problem; when people pushed her to tell them what was going on, she would freeze up and not tell a soul. She would hide behind whatever walls she put up and not come out. Sara liked waiting for the bottom to drop out of everything. He didn't know why, exactly, but he feared that one day, it would be her undoing. He knew how to get her to talk; listen, don't shove. Sara eventually got whatever was bothering her out of her system. It was funny how that was one thing Grissom couldn't do with her: talk. Deeply talk. Open up to each other. 

Withdrawing into herself was her biggest flaw next to holding grudges.

"You don't mind hearing this, do you?" She asked, forking some of her scone.

The dust that was accumulating in the sun's rays danced around them, making him itch all of a sudden. The sunlight hit Sara's hair and showed off its reddish-brown tint. Her hair was shiny, soft, and it had body since it had been cut. It went past her shoulders before, and she cut a little above the shoulders.

"No, not at all," Warrick said. 

"Okay," she sighed. "A few years back, I tried killing myself. I've thought about it God knows how many times, but a few years ago, I was about to follow through."

Warrick's expression turned really serious.

"I had taken some time off work, just to relax, get my head straight," she explained. "Well, one day, I got so depressed and miserable, that I decided that I should just end my life. I sat in my tub, full of water, and I cut my thighs. And they weren't just little butterfly cuts, these were deep, painful, gashing cuts. Within seconds, my bathwater was bloody."

Warrick could not believe what he was hearing. She began to cry. He saw the tears escape her eyes.

"I sat in my own blood for ten minutes, looking at my cuts," she said in a weak voice. "And then, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't let myself die."

Warrick took a napkin and handed it to her. They were cheap and thin, but it was something that soaked and that's what he wanted.

"Thanks," Sara said gratefully. "I have scars on my thighs from what I did to myself. And seeing Amelia Ruben in that hot tub, dead by her own hand, it just brought back awful memories."

"Sara, did you ever get any help?" Warrick asked. "You know they have programs for people in law enforcement. I've gone to one before. There's people that can help you when the job gets to be too much to handle."

"No, it's not the job, Warrick!" She exclaimed. "I'm happy at the job, that's what kept me from dying was the job! I'm talking about after hours, when I'm at home, by myself, with no one to talk to, no one to relate to. It's so quiet in my apartment, it's scary. I hear things sometimes. If I talk to anyone else, they'll think I'm a nut job wrapped in a psycho. Work is my life Warrick, and nothing else. Work keeps me from completely going off the deep end."

Warrick took her hands. "Sara, work can't be your life," he said. "You have to find some way to channel your energies after hours. You're a great person, and you're probably more together than some of the people I know. Sara, you don't have to feel lonely because in the end, you've got me, Gris, Nick, Catherine, and even Greg…no matter how obnoxious and horny he is. There are people you can count on Sara."

Sara looked out the window. The sun was up high in the sky and people were out; either going to work, or just out and about. 

Warrick let go of her hands and looked at her. He never thought Sara so unstable as to attempt to kill herself. He didn't realize it was that bad, although, it was years ago. It still scared him though. If Sara died, of anything, he wouldn't know what to. Sara was his inspiration to stop gambling. He hadn't gambled as long as Sara had been in Las Vegas. He did it cold turkey. He didn't go to any groups or anything, he just stopped. He figured it was because he was getting older. His gambling addiction was a part of him that was immature and unfocused. When he saw the result of his addiction, he decided that it was time to let it go. He did, and he was a much better person for it. Had it not been for Sara, he wouldn't have given up his addiction. 

"I don't know why I'm so lonely," she said. "I have my parents, and my brother, but they're so far away from me, and we aren't that close. My parents disowned me when I left for college. I have people that I talk to, but deep down, I'm lonely. I don't know how to deal with it."

Warrick nodded, trying to find the right words, but they would not come.

"I've changed my look," she admitted. "I didn't do it for attention."

"Why did you do it, then?" Warrick asked.

"Well I-"

Warrick's cell phone went off.

"I'm sorry," he said as he answered it.

Sara looked down at her hands while Warrick talked to whoever was on the line. After a minute, he hung up.

"That was Gris," he said. "He told me that Miles Ruben wanted to talk to me."

"Oh, well, it was nice sharing some coffee with you," Sara said with a smile.

"Thanks," he said. "I'll see you later." 

Sara smiled meekly and waved.

***

Sara closed and locked her door to her tiny apartment. It was home. There was no one waiting for her, no noise, no clutter. It was impeccably clean and organized. Sara threw her keys down on the counter and went into her kitchen. She made herself a salad and changed clothes. She grabbed a book and sat at her small table, only big enough for two. 

She was focused, and she was particularly enjoying her salad. She had gotten a lot of things off her chest, and it made her feel so much better. Warrick was a great listener. He didn't hurry to give her any advice, nor did he push her to talk. He just sat there, waiting for her to start. He was a good friend to her.

He was right, she did have people that were there for her, but she couldn't just interrupt their lives because she was lonely. They had friends and family too. It wouldn't be fair for her to interfere in their relationships. She had to forge a strong friendship of her own and have people that she could talk to everyday. Talking to Warrick was a start, but she was sure that he didn't want to hear any more of her problems. He didn't even want to have coffee with her. He just went along out of the goodness of his heart. 

Sara knew that the only thing that was keeping her from being happy was herself. She didn't know why she was so unhappy. She couldn't remember a time when she was truly happy. She had been humored, but she never went home happy. She knew it was because of a lack of relationships and not going out to meet new people. She felt that if she went out with another man, that she would be betrayed like she was with Hank. Nothing had hurt her more than that. It was embarrassing, and from then on, it became hard for her to trust in men.

There were men who were cheaters and then men who were emotionally challenged. Grissom was the latter. Sara had been pining after him for years, and he seemed to not pick up on her desperateness. She loved him. There was nothing in her mind that could make her consider otherwise. She fell in love with Grissom over the years, and she never allowed any other man to come close to her because of her love for him. Now, she wasn't so sure. He had left so many scars on her heart that she utterly gave up. She applied for the key position, but it wasn't for her personal gain. It was something to help her get her mind off Grissom. Maybe then he would notice her. Her attempts backfired, and it only served to dig the chasm between them even deeper. It hurt her so bad that she not only felt emotional pain, but she felt physical pain in her heart and stomach. She had cried so many times over him that she lost count. 

Yes, there were many reasons for her loneliness, and the biggest one was Grissom. Never had she felt a love for anyone so deeply before, and she never felt a hurt so deeply in her life. All she wanted was for someone to love her for who she was, and to love only her. To be with her in mind, body, and soul. Was it too much to ask? Apparently so, for Sara was unable to find that person yet. 

Sara forked her salad as she read her book. Ironically enough, the book was about finding true love. A Harlequin. A mind numbing, sleazy novel about predictable murders and lessons in determining the sizes of manhood. Educational. Sara had a secret stash hidden under her bed. They were books that she had collected from age sixteen on. She read them seasonally, if she wanted to read a book quickly.

Thus was the portrait of Sara Sidle's home life. 

***

Warrick could not believe that Sara had attempted to kill herself. It was, in a word, shocking. He never thought of her as suicidal. It just didn't fit her mold, it seemed; but then again, looks could be deceiving. 

__

How cliché, he thought.

Cliché as it was, it was true of Sara. He knew Sara but he didn't know her. Not enough to understand her frustrations and her problems. At work, she was calm, collected, and focused most of the time, so he knew when something wasn't right about her. She suddenly becomes quiet, dazed, and she lops off her thick, soft hair. She wears more make up than usual. He noticed it, and it bothered him much. The fact that she was wearing more make up didn't bother him, it was the fact that she started doing it. Usually, she would wear very little, but lately, she had packed it on. She looked beautiful, but he wanted to see her skin without make up. Then he decided that it was a woman's arena, make up, and he would never understand it.

"Hey Frank," he greeted the doorman to his apartment building. "How's it going?"

"Fine, Mr. Brown," he said. "Have a nice morning sir."

"You too," he said as he entered the building.

His apartment was on the fifth floor. Nice view of the city, and it wasn't too noisy, except for his neighbors' newborn. He didn't mind the noise though. He'd babysat worse when he was a teen. 

He entered his apartment and he turned on his television. He threw his keys down on the end table by his couch and went into his kitchen. Left over lasagna. Perfect. He put it in the microwave and then pressed the button for three minutes.

He then went to his bedroom and changed clothes. His apartment pretty much carried the same colors. Black and chrome. It blended well, all thanks to a lady friend of his, whom he dated for a while. His sex life was something that he kept very private. He got some, but he never enjoyed talking about it. While most people thought it was masculine, he thought it was retarded. A Cassanova he was not. His goal when he dated was not to have sex, it was to try and see if she was the one. He usually scared women off when they inquired about his occupation. He soon realized that an occupation in death was not attractive. So, he stopped telling women right off what his occupation was and relationships from there quickly ended.

As he was heading back to his kitchen, he saw the news story about Amelia Ruben. He shook his head. She was so young and so pretty. How could Miles Ruben not pay attention to her? How could he lose such a beautiful woman?

He sighed and checked on his lasagna. It was still cold. He cursed under his breath and put it back into the microwave for another two minutes. His thoughts drifted back to Sara. He hoped that she was okay. He worried about her a lot. He hardly saw her eat, and when she did, it was either a small sandwich or salad. He knew that she was a vegetarian, but they ate too. She had, for a time, gained weight, but she quickly lost it by barely eating. She was so skinny. Not even Catherine was as skinny and lithe as Sara was. She was skinny to the point to where it looked unhealthy.

The microwave beeped and he took out his lasagna with an oven towel. The plate was hot and he quickly placed it on the table.

He got out a cold beer from his refrigerator and then sat down. He could barely get a bite in when the doorbell rang. He grumbled as he got up and answered the door. It was Jason Sims. He had bailed the boy out of Juvi for pulling the fire alarm at his school. That was the time when Sara had investigated him.

"Hey Jason," he said. "What are you doing here?" 

"My mom had to go out of town this weekend, and I didn't want to stay with my aunt," the twelve year old said. "I figured I could come here for the weekend."

Warrick sighed. "Jason, you can't just assume that I'm gonna be here all the time," Warrick explained. "I have to work this weekend, you know."

"Sorry, but I have no place else to stay," he said. "I don't want to stay with my aunt, she smells."

Warrick chuckled. "Alright, come in."

Warrick called Jason's aunt and mother to make sure that they knew where Jason was for the weekend. Warrick made sure to leave the point that Jason's aunt smelled out. His mother understood and said that she would be back on Sunday evening. Then he called Grissom.

"Yeah, I need this weekend off," he explained. "I'm babysitting." Jason glared at him.

Grissom was confused, but he allowed Warrick the weekend.

"Okay," Warrick started. "I'm off this weekend because my boss is very kind. You're lucky."

"Thanks Warrick," he said. 

It was harder to relate to a twelve year old than Warrick thought. Morally, he could, but not socially. As a kid, Warrick was not very talkative, and he didn't have many friends, so he remembered little of his days in elementary school. High school was memorable, but anything before that was a big blur. 

"There's this girl that I like at school," Jason started. "She's really nice and real pretty too. I want to ask her to hang with me sometime, but I don't know how to do it."

Warrick smirked and nodded. "Just be cool, be yourself."

"It's hard to not act like a dweeb around her," Jason said. "I can't get the words out right."

"You don't need to be nervous," Warrick said. "You just have to stay calm, collected, and just ask her casually. If you sound serious, she won't go for it."

Jason nodded. He forked a large chunk of lasagna and stuffed it into his mouth. 

"So," he started with his mouth full. "Who's that lady you're always talking to?"

"Boy, chew your food," Warrick scolded. "Don't talk with your mouth full, you know better than that."

Jason nodded and chewed his food good before swallowing. He gulped down some of his coke before continuing.

"I was asking who that lady is," he started again. "The one I met at the front desk."

"Oh, that's Sara Sidle," Warrick said. "She's my coworker."

"Oh," he said. "I was just asking 'cause you talk to her a lot. She's pretty."

"Yes she is," Warrick agreed. _But she's a barking lunatic_, he thought to himself. "She's smart too."

"Is she your girlfriend?" Jason asked.

Warrick choked on a piece of noodle. "What?"

"Is she your girlfriend?"

"What? No," Warrick said, trying to catch his breath. "No, she's a friend of mine, but we're not together."

Jason nodded. Warrick wished for his onslaught of personal questions to end. He couldn't deny that the woman was beautiful, but she was not his type. She was not wrapped too tightly.

Jason was taken aback by Warrick's choking. All because he asked him a simple question. It was clear that he was in denial. Jason was twelve and he could see that. He only knew because his mother had been dating for years, and all of the guys he'd met, they were in denial about admiring his mother or even loving his mother. Jason could always tell. He thought it was high time for Warrick to get a girlfriend, and he wouldn't mind if it was his mother. Warrick had been a father figure to him for three years.

"What are you thinking about?" Warrick asked as he cleared the table.

"Nothing," Jason replied. "Do you at least like her?"

"Like who?" Warrick asked, trying to avoid the conversation.

"Sara," he asked. "Do you like her a little bit?"

Warrick glared a Jason. "Why are you asking me these questions?"

Jason shrugged. "I don't know."

"I don't know isn't a good answer," Warrick said rather harshly. "I shouldn't even be discussing my personal life with you. You're twelve. It'll get your head all screwed up."

Jason smiled. "You like her, admit it."

Warrick just shook his head. "Look boy, I'll send you to your aunt's if you keep it up."

Jason raised his arms in surrender. "I'm sorry."

Later, they watched TV.

"Can I have a sip?" Jason asked.

"No," Warrick said firmly. "Wait 'til you're twenty-one."

Jason sighed and looked back at the television. Warrick was agitated by the boy. He'd been pestering him all morning long. It was strange how he thought that he and Sara were dating. It was simply unheard of, and he couldn't picture himself with her. He knew her, yes, she was beautiful yes, and she was quasi-nice, yes, but he didn't think he'd have anything in common with her. They just worked together, that was it.


	2. Chapter Two

Where the Grass is Greener

Chapter Two

The next morning coffee meeting was accompanied by Jason. Sara had called Warrick early the next morning to ask if he wanted to meet her for coffee again. Warrick accepted her offer and he told her that Jason was coming with him. She didn't mind.

The three of them sat in silence. Jason looked between the two of them, waiting for one of them to start a conversation. Sara buttered her scone, and Warrick stirred his coffee endlessly. Jason felt left out. He wanted somebody to say something. He figured that somebody should be him.

"I'm having a good time this weekend," He started with a smile.

"Good," Warrick said. 

Jason just nodded. He was running out of things to talk about. He didn't want to talk about school, so he decided it was best to stay quiet. They would talk in their own time. 

"How was shift last night?" Warrick asked.

"It was okay," Sara said. "New case, a break in. Open and shut."

Warrick nodded as he sipped his coffee.

"Did you have to pull your gun?" Jason asked.

"No," Sara chuckled. "We rarely have to do that. It's just for protection just in case."

"Have you ever had to?" He asked, his interest piqued. 

Sara smiled and nodded. "Yeah, a few times."

"Cool," he said.

Sara chuckled at how easily amused a kid could be. She only really recalled drawing her weapon twice in her entire career. The second drawing an error on her part.

She remembered Jason. She had been investigating Warrick because there were accusations that he was gambling on company time. She was at the front desk to deliver some paperwork and he had been sitting there.

__

"You look lost," she said.

"Do you know Warrick Brown?" Jason asked politely.

"Yes, do you want me to tell him you're here?"

"No," Jason answered. "He's probably working right now. He works very hard."

All Sara could do was nod.

"Hey Jase," Warrick greeted the young boy.

That morning, Sara realized that she had made a serious error in judgment. Warrick was trying to help a boy in need. She grossly misjudged that and she still felt rather embarrassed at her behavior toward him to the day. There were a lot of things that she didn't know about Warrick, and she wanted to know him more. She couldn't believe that she had been so open to him the other day. It was not like her, and no one knew about her suicide attempt. Not even her parents knew. Then again, her parents were unconcerned about her. They had been her whole life and it frustrated her. She was simply ignored. Her older brother got most of the attention, and her parents were willing to do anything for their son. But when it came to her, they mostly paid for her college tuition, but she worked through most of college. She loved her parents, but she felt a bitterness toward them. She had to work to get to where she was, and everything was handed to her brother on a silver platter.

"Hey, we better get going," Warrick said.

"Oh, okay," Sara said. "It was nice seeing you Jason. He's a good kid."

"Thanks," Jason said.

"Yeah, when he's not causing his mother any grief," Warrick quipped. "I'll see you later."

"Okay," Sara said with a smile.

***

Jason was sifting through the CDs while Warrick was driving them to his apartment. 

"Hey, you don't have any Jay-Z?" Jason asked.

"No, never like him," Warrick said. "And what are you doing listening to Jay-Z anyway? Didn't your mom tell you not to listen to those songs?"

"I can't help it," Jason said. "Kids at school listen to it."

Warrick shook his head. The boy couldn't obey his mother to save his life.

Jason finally decided on a CD and put it in. Warrick was barely aware of what was in. He was thinking about Sara. She seemed distant, then again that was not unlike Sara, but she seemed more withdrawn today. Ever since she told him that she had tried to commit suicide, he had feared the worst for her. He knew that the second time Sara tried it, she would be serious about it. She was good to her word, even if it was deadly. She was lonely, and she certainly did not know how to deal with it properly. She was too prideful to get help. But he didn't think that therapy would help her. It would just drive her insane to have someone analyze her for an hour. She was extremely unhappy. How does a person go about helping that? Only Sara could make herself happy. Not even being at CSI was making her forget her struggle.

When Warrick entered his apartment, Jason ran past him and went to the kitchen. The boy could eat. He was going through a growth spurt and boys tended to eat every waking moment. His mother probably spent most of her income on food for Jason.

Warrick shook his head. He was trying not to think about Sara, but it was hard not to. He didn't want to worry all weekend.

***

Warrick had left again, and Sara was starting to get the impression that he was tired of her. He always left after about thirty minutes, and he always seemed to leave in a hurry. She knew that she probably scared him when she told him about her attempt to kill herself. 

Memories of that night had been haunting her for quite some time, and her loneliness became all the deeper to know that if she did commit suicide, no one would mourn her. She couldn't let herself slip away. She had to stay strong. Now was not the time to break down. She had worked too long and too hard to throw it all away because she was crazy. There was no room for the crazy anymore. There was so much intolerance. Plus, her feelings about her coworkers were changing, and she didn't know how to handle that either. 

Sara entered her quiet apartment and she closed the door. She walked over to her phone and checked her messages. There were none. She felt a sharp droop in her shoulders. She went into her kitchen and opened her freezer. She took out a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. She grabbed a spoon from her dish rack and stabbed it into the soft ice cream. The silence in her apartment was deafening. She turned on her television to a morning show. The death of Amelia Ruben was featured. She couldn't watch it. She turned the channel. 

All of a sudden the phone rang, it was one of those urgent, shrill kind of rings. Sara put her ice cream down and she went quickly to answer her phone.

"Hello?" She answered.

"Sara," Warrick started. 

"Hey," she said while licking her finger. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to know," he said. "If you're going to want to hurt yourself again anytime soon."

"No, not at the moment," Sara said calmly. "I'm fine, Warrick."

"Good," he said. "I have been worried about you lately, and I hated to ask you, but I needed to know or else I wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything."

"Well, I'm going to be okay for the time being," she said. "Thanks for checking."

"You're welcome," he said in his usual collected manner. "Well, I'll talk to you later. I've got to watch Jason before he eats me out of house and home. That kid's growing like a weed."

Sara chuckled. "Okay, bye."

"Bye," Warrick said then hung up.

Sara placed the phone back on its receiver and then she went back to her ice cream. If anything, she thought that she could lose a few pounds. She had been getting a little soggy in her midsection. And her clothes were becoming a bit small. She could afford to lose a few pounds. Maybe four. Four pounds. She would go to the gym. Instead of indulging in coffee and pastries, she could lose some weight. No, she could still have that morning coffee, just without the pastry.

She thought about it, then shrugged the idea off. She was fine the way she was. At least she had that much confidence in herself. It wasn't the fact that she wasn't pretty, or that she was overweight either, it was just the fact that she was alone. She felt that if she did open up, they would leave her. Like Hank did. And like Warrick was currently doing. People had no desire to get to know her for who she was, and that made her feel like she wasn't worth anybody's time. She didn't feel like she had any worth at all. 

She just sighed and laid down, after consuming the entire pint of Ben and J's ice cream. She was feeling pretty lousy, but she figured some sleep would help.

***

Another night, another crime. For some reason, Sara kept getting the minor cases like break-ins and smash and grabs lately. She was wondering what Grissom's deal was. She made a note to ask him when shift was over.

Warrick was assigned to a case with her. She was glad. She didn't want to be partnered with anyone else. Warrick was quiet and understanding. He was smart, and he put together pieces of the puzzle faster than she did. With Sara, it was more about the physics of a scene. How was it done? How was it physically possible? She did, after all, have a master's in physics. Warrick was more about the human aspect of a crime. What was the motive? Who were the suspects? What was the intent of the actions? In all, working together, they accomplished solving a crime on all levels. There were no loose ends.

"Hey Sara," Warrick said. "You with me?"

"Yeah," she answered. "I'm okay."

Warrick gave her a wary eye, then went back to processing the scene. 

"This guy was very specific in what he wanted," Warrick said. "And he was smart too. He left very little evidence, and nothing else was taken."

"What if it was a she?" Sara mused. "A woman is just as capable of a heist as a man."

"Well, of course she is," Warrick said with a smirk. "But women tend to have more to leave behind, like a finger nail or a strand of hair, an eyelash."

"Now you're just being stereotypical," Sara laughed. "Women know how to handle themselves in certain situations."

"Yeah, only because they put themselves in certain situations," Warrick said. "Women are prepared for anything and everything."

"That must get you a lot of dates," Sara said with a smirk. 

"No," he said modestly. "I like to think that it's my mind."

Sara cocked her head to one side. "You're afraid to admit that it's because of your good looks."

Warrick glared at her. "Anyway, back to the subject at hand."

"Now who put themselves into that situation?" Sara joked as she walked past him.

Sara felt much happier that they were able to carry on like that. She didn't think that they're friendship would be the same after telling him about her attempt to end her life. 

The shift had been a good one, but Sara was ready to go home. Go home to what? She wanted to ask Warrick if he wanted to join her for coffee again, but he always seemed to be anxious to leave. She decided against it. She felt something different about him every time she looked at him. She didn't know if it was his gray-blue eyes or his serene manner. He was a mystery to her, and she really did have this uncontrollable desire to want to know him better lately. She knew more about her other coworker than she did him.

Sara wrapped her arms around herself and she looked up at the ceiling, trying to keep her tears from falling. It was in vain. Her tears fell heavy with her pain. Her heart was hurting, and her stomach was suffering pangs of agony. It wasn't long before she was almost choking herself with hysterical crying. She put her hands on the location of her scars. Even though they had completely healed, she could still feel the pain. She could still see the blood flowing from her body and into the bathwater, turning it red in seconds. After a few seconds, the pain seeped into the bathwater, and she could no longer feel it. It took her internal pain away.

She got up and tried to calm herself before she talked to Grissom, but she couldn't. She tried taking in a deep breath, but it only made her cry harder.

"Oh God," she cried.

She walked down the halls to Grissom's office. Catherine stopped dead in her tracks to inquire about her.

"Sara, what's the matter?" She asked in a motherly tone of voice.

Catherine put her hands on Sara's shoulders and looked into her eyes.

"Sara, what's wrong?" She asked a little more firmly.

Sara sniffed and shrugged Catherine off and made a beeline to Grissom's office.

Sara entered and closed the door, moaning with more tears. Grissom looked up at her from his paperwork.

"Sara, what's the matter?" He asked, coming over to her. "Honey, what happened?"

She continued to cry, and like a little girl, she coughed and choked. She tried calming herself enough to talk, but she couldn't do it. The pain within her body was too much, and she let it all out at a bad time. She really needed to talk to Grissom, but her tears were coming in torrents. She had to get out what she needed to say.

"Do you love me?" She asked, distraught.

Grissom was obviously taken aback by her question. "What?"

"Do you love me?" She asked, hiccupping.

Grissom pulled back and gave her one of his looks. She stood against the door, exhausted from crying, her cheeks soaked with tears, and the collar of her shirt was stained with her tears.

"Answer the question!" She shouted. "Do you love me?"

Grissom didn't know how to answer her question. It had been a question that lulled in his mind for years. He knew how she felt about him, but he never reciprocated those feelings toward her. He did love her, but not in the romantic way. He loved her as a scientist. She was unique, and she was not to be contended with. She was fiercely independent and she lived by her own terms. He was very much aware that she fell hard for him, and he never took the time to talk to her about it. Now she had broken down.

"Sara," he started. "I don't love you the way you love me."

Sara nodded in fury. "You selfish bastard!" She screamed whilst hitting his shoulders. "You knew all this time and you used it against me! You selfish bastard! Why did you hurt me? Why didn't you just tell me the truth? You lying bastard!"

Grissom pulled her off of him and then she collapsed to the floor, exhausted, shut down, and fragile.

"C'mon, Sara," he said soothingly. "Please get up."

Sara just cried. Grissom had never seen her cry so hard. He knew it was a break down, and he had expected it to happen one day. He didn't know how to deal with it, but he knew it would come sooner or later. Sara was an intensely private person, and whatever trials she faced in her personal life carried on into her professional life and it had finally taken its toll on her tiny frame. She could only take so much.

She started coughing as she cried. Grissom tired to get her up, but her body wouldn't allow him too. She would not stay on her feet.

"Sara, you've got to stay with me," Grissom said to her firmly.

At this point, Nick had entered and immediately aided Grissom.

"What's wrong with her?" He asked, the fear obvious in his voice.

"She's having a break down Nick," Grissom explained.

"Why? What's going on?" Nick asked as he tried to calm Sara. "Sara, c'mon sweetheart, you've got to stop crying and tell us what's going on. Sara, come back to us."

Sara continued to cry. The pain was unbearable in her heart and stomach. The anguish was too much. She felt the pain from her scars all over again and her threshold for it weakened.

Catherine, Warrick, and other employees of the lab looked on in concern. Warrick had never seen Sara so hysterical before. Actually, he'd never seen her cry.

"Call an ambulance," Grissom said. "She needs to go to the hospital."

Warrick quickly took out his cell phone and called an ambulance. He looked down at Sara, deeply concerned about her. She was having a serious break down, that he should have seen coming. She'd told him just the past weekend that she was fine. Clearly, she wasn't. Earlier, she was bantering with him and laughing. Now she was at her lowest.

Sara was not aware of what was going on. It was like she was out of her body. It felt like her spirit left, but the body remained, uncontrolled by her. She was soaked with sweat and she had chills. Grissom was trying his best to at least calm her crying, but there was no succeeding. 

"Grissom, please don't leave me," she cried. "Don't leave me."

The paramedics rushed in.

"Step aside sir," one of them said. Grissom and Nick moved away from Sara.

Sara held onto Grissom's shirt tightly. "Don't leave me. Please don't let them take me away. I'm not crazy!"

Sara kicked and screamed as the paramedics put her on a stretcher. "DON'T LET THEM TAKE ME AWAY! DON'T LEAVE ME!"

They had to restrain her. Sara cried and screamed all the way to the ambulance.

Everyone was in shock at her episode.

"NO!" She screamed as they rolled her into the back. Warrick ran to catch up.

"Let me on!" He called.

The paramedic was too busy trying to calm Sara to care who came along for the ride.


	3. Chapter Three

Where the Grass is Greener

Chapter Three

The doctor came in from Sara's room.

Everyone stood up, anxious to know what happened to her.

"Hi, I'm Doctor Mills," she said cordially. "Are you all friends of Sara?"

Everyone either said 'yes' or they nodded.

"Well, Sara is stable for now, but I'd like to keep her here for a few days," Dr. Mills explained. "She had a nervous break down. She may be manic depressive. She's on a thorazine drip right now, but I'll prescribe some medication for her when she wakes up. Is this the first time she's broken down?"

"Yes," Grissom answered.

"Is she suicidal? Did she threaten to hurt herself? Has she hurt herself before?" The doctor asked.

"Yes," Warrick said. "She's told me that she tried to commit suicide a few years back. There's scars on her thighs."

Everyone looked a bit shocked at this revelation. 

Dr. Mills nodded and noted it in her log. "Well, you can go in and see her if you like."

"Thank you doctor," Grissom said.

Warrick was the last to go in and see her. He had never seen her look so fragile before. She was pale and she was in a deep sleep. She looked peaceful and calm. He took her hand. He could not understand her pain. She was lonely, yet she did nothing to help that. She lived a mundane life, work the only thing that could truly make her happy. He shook his head in frustration. He felt as if it was his fault. He should have stayed longer when he met her for coffee. It was just coffee. He could have spared her a few hours of his time. It wasn't like he had anything better in his life to do. He was okay with his personal life, though. He had ways to channel his energies. He played the piano at a posh club on the strip when he had the night off. He spent his days at home either reading or playing his piano or listening to music.

He could not understand the complex puzzle that was Sara. From the first day he met her, he didn't think there was something right about her. That was only because she was hell on wheels trying to get him fired from his job. He had not liked her then, but once the investigation was over, they became friends. As pretty as Sara was, he didn't think that she was one to break down. He thought she was the strongest woman he knew.

Warrick soon grew tired, and he had to get home. He gave her small hand one last squeeze of hope that she would pull through before leaving.

***

He couldn't sleep because he was thinking about Sara. He could never forget her face all sweaty, and soaked with tears. He'd never heard her scream in such pain. 

He saw so much in her. She was smart, beautiful, intelligent, and she was outspoken. She just wanted somebody to pay attention to her. And what was she talking about with Grissom before she went off the deep end?

He would never know.

Warrick ran his hand over his face and he plopped down on his couch. Why was it bothering him so much? Sara was going to be okay, so why was he so nervous about her? Maybe she wasn't going to get through her trauma. Maybe she had finally snapped and she will be forever mentally ill for the rest of her life. Or she would get out of the hospital and then she would try to kill herself again. He hadn't seen the scars, but he knew they were there, and they haunted her. 

He blamed himself for not making any time for her. He felt guilty for calling her a barking lunatic. He didn't really mean that, it was just reactionary because she had been so different. He concluded that her falling out happened after the case of the raped teenager. She was found dead just twenty feet from her front door. She was almost home, in the safety of her parents, and some punk who didn't want twenty-five years to life had killed her. That was when Sara started to lose it. She had crawled into the Tahoe and cried for the fifteen year old. After that case, she cut her hair, she wore more make up, and she even changed the way she dressed. Tighter clothes adorned her body.

Sara had made subtle, but noticeable changes and Warrick knew he was really the only one that noticed. They weren't bad changes, she looked good, but she wasn't happy. She didn't make the changes for the reasons he thought.

He sighed and went to his bedroom to try and get some sleep. He would get Sara some flowers and take them to her before shift. He didn't know what kind of flowers she liked, but he would manage. Sara couldn't have been that picky over flowers.

***

Sara woke up feeling exhausted and drained of every inch of her energy. Her head was hurting, and she was dizzy. She looked around and she was in an unfamiliar setting. She sat up a little to take in her surroundings. A hospital. Why was she in a hospital?

She reached over to the call button and pressed it, signaling the nurse.

An older woman came in and checked her vitals.

"Ah, you're up," she said in a sweet voice. "We were getting worried about you, young lady."

"What?" Sara asked, confusion her dominating state of mind at the moment. "Why am I here? Was I drunk?"

"No," the nurse said, laying her back down gently on the bed. "You had a break down."

"What?" Sara asked. "I had a break down?"

"Yes," the nurse said. "Oh you poor thing. You came in here yesterday so distraught and you were nearly suffocating yourself from your crying. A nervous break down. I've had my share in my lifetime dear."

"No," Sara said. "I don't break down."

"Oh but it's nothing to be ashamed of," the nurse said. "Sometimes, we just need to slow down and reevaluate ourselves, and our bodies and minds aren't willing to let us do that so easily when it involves changing a life that we've become so accustomed to."

Sara sighed. "I can't believe this. I made a big scene?"

"It happens to the best of us dear," the nurse said, smoothing down Sara's hair. "Oh, a nice young man dropped off some flowers for you earlier this evening. I think he likes you."

"Grissom?" Sara asked.

"No, he was younger, taller, darker," she explained. "He's quite a handsome young man."

Sara laid down and put her hands across her belly. "I can't believe this. When can I get out of here. I hate hospitals. No offense to you."

"Well, the doctor wants to keep you for a few days," the nurse said. "Don't worry, you'll be out of here in now time."

"Can I see the flowers?" Sara asked.

The nurse nodded. She brought the bouquet of lilies. Sara looked at the card. The flowers were from Warrick. She smiled and smelled them. They smelled refreshing. She put them on her nightstand so that the smell was closer to her.

"Hey nurse, do you think you can get these restraints off me?" Sara asked.

"Sure," the nurse said. "And It's Cher."

"Cher," Sara giggled. "Wow, I bet you get teased a lot."

"Yeah," chuckled. "There you go. Feel better."

"Yeah, thanks Cher," Sara said. "I'm not a total nutcase am I?"

Cher sighed. "No dear," she said. "You're human, and you have feelings."

With that, Cher left the room. Sara sighed heavily and she gave into her fatigue. Warrick brought her flowers. She smiled. He was a sweet guy. She made a note to thank him when she got out of the hospital.

She did feel a bit of relief. All of the pain ran through her system. She'd cried enough for a life time. She couldn't remember what caused her break down exactly. She knew her loneliness had a lot to do with it, but what finally made her go off the deep end? Something made her go off her rocker.

"May as well think about it in the morning," she sighed to herself as she went to sleep.

***

Warrick went Grissom's office.

"Hey Warrick," he said in his usual tone.

"Hey Gris," Warrick said as he sat down. "I'm really worried about Sara."

"We all are," he said, pulling off his glasses. 

"Yeah," Warrick paused, trying to find the right way to ask Grissom of the cause of Sara's break down. "You were with her when she lost it. Why did she go off?"

Grissom leaned back in his chair and rubbed his temples. "She came in here, distraught, and she asked me if I loved her."

Warrick was surprised. "What?"

"She asked me if I loved her," Grissom explained. "I told her that I didn't love her romantically, but that I love her as a person. That's when she went off."

"I heard that part," Warrick said. "She truly deeply loves you."

"She must," Grissom said. "And she knew I knew, and I played that against her for a lot of years."

"Why didn't you just tell her the truth?" Warrick asked.

"I don't know," he answered. "I thought I'd ruin something for her."

Warrick just sat in silence for a few seconds before speaking again.

"She was lonely," Warrick said. "She just wants somebody to give a damn about her."

"Warrick, we all care about Sara," Grissom said.

"I know, but we never really paid that much attention to her," Warrick said.

"We or you, Warrick?" Grissom asked.

Warrick looked at Grissom.

***

Sara was not enjoying the processed delight that was hospital food. She pushed her tray away and grimaced.

"Hey, I thought you'd want some real food," a deep voice called from her door.

She looked over. "Hey Warrick."

"Hey girl," he said. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay, considering I'm in this hell hold for another twenty-four hours," Sara said, the contempt not lost in her voice.

"Well, I brought you a little bit of civilization," Warrick mused. "I have here, a garden salad made fresh at that deli across the street, a diet coke, and an apple and Twizzlers."

"Oh, thank you so much," Sara said with a smile. "How did you know I like Twizzlers?"

"I saw you gnawing on some one shift," he explained.

"Thank you," Sara said. "For everything. For this, and the flowers, their beautiful."

"I'm glad you like them," Warrick said while handing her the salad. 

"They smell beautiful," she said as she popped the top on the salad. "Did you get fat free dressing?"

"No, I got the fatty kind," Warrick said. "Sorry. I forgot that it'll go straight to your thighs and those hips," he said sarcastically.

"Shut up," Sara chuckled. "Well, did you at least get Ranch."

"No, I got Italian," Warrick said.

"Oh Warrick!" Sara laughed. "God, you can't ever go wrong with getting Ranch."

"I tried," he chuckled. "For some reason I thought that you liked Italian over Ranch."

"Well, you did good," Sara said gratefully. "This is so much better than that goo factory over there. Ugh, it's disgusting. That is the price I pay for going nuts."

Despite how crude it was, Warrick laughed with Sara. 

Sara forked her salad hungrily and savored the fresh crunch.

"Mm…" she moaned. "Thank you. This is so good."

"Good," Warrick said.

Sara blushed and looked up at him. "You must think I'm a pig."

"No, eat up," he said. "I like a woman who eats."

Sara smiled and continued to eat her salad. "I owe you."

"No you don't," Warrick said. "That's what friends are for."

Warrick sat and talked to her for about two hours. It made Sara happy that at least one person was concerned about her. Her other coworkers had not even dropped her a line. She felt slightly hurt, but at least Warrick was there with her. She chomped down on her Twizzlers. They were her guilty pleasure.

"I'll pick you up when you get discharged," Warrick said. "Just call me or page me."

"Okay," Sara said. "Thank you Warrick. Thank you for putting up with me."

"You're very welcome," he said with a smile. 

Sara snuggled into the suddenly comfortable hospital bed and smiled. Warrick was the sweetest man she knew. Nick was nice, but he wasn't nearly as polite as Warrick was. Nick was like the little brother out of the group, while Warrick was mature and level headed. It surprised Sara that he had been so nice to her. She treated him so badly when they first met. Now, they were close friends.

Sara was bored out of her mind. She walked around, then she requested some reading material. She read three Harlequins in two days. Finally, it was her time to be discharged. 

"Now Sara, I'm prescribing some Zoloft for you," Dr. Mills said. "This is an anti-depressant. It will help you manage your moods better. I'm also giving you some birth control pills too, to help with the moods too."

Sara didn't care. She just wanted to get home.


	4. Chapter Four

Where the Grass is Greener

Chapter Four

Sara was slowly getting back to normal, although she would not talk about her break down to any one, not even Warrick. She remembered what caused it, and what finally pushed her over the edge, but she was not ready to actually confront the reasons and discuss them. She took her pills as the doctor prescribed, and she felt better.

Warrick had been very supportive of her. Catherine, Nick, and Grissom had been too, but Warrick had paid more attention to her more than the others. Grissom bore the brunt of her break down, and he was feeling guilty.

Warrick was truly a friend through everything that Sara had been through. Her life felt a little less lonely and empty, although coming home to an empty apartment still hurt her, she was not too bothered by it. She was thinking about moving to another apartment complex. She had two months to think about it. She was on paid leave, so she had time to think, relax, and take care of anything that needed to be taken care of. She didn't want two months, she wasn't that insane, was she? Two weeks would have been sufficient.

Sara had been browsing through a new clothing catalogue when the phone rang. She got up and answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey girl," Warrick greeted her.

"Hey," she said.

"Do you want to go out tonight?" He asked casually.

"Sure," Sara said. "That should be good for me."

"Okay, I'll pick you up at seven-thirty," he said. "Wear something nice."

"Okay," Sara said. "Bye."

"Bye."

Sara needed to go shopping. She had nothing "nice" in her closet. Where was he taking her anyway? It didn't matter, as long as she was able to escape her apartment for a few hours, it was fine with her.

Sara grabbed her keys then headed out.

She went to Saks Fifth Avenue. She wanted to get something nice. She browsed through the racks and tried on certain clothes. The whole process of picking up and trying on was frustrating because she could not find what she wanted. It was going to be a long afternoon, and the store was getting crowded. She normally didn't shop at Saks, but she wanted to look her best. It had been a while since she bought new clothes anyway.

She looked at different dresses, and she realized she didn't have what men liked to call 'a little black number' within the confines of her closet. She couldn't remember the last time she wore a dress, let alone owned one. It was sad. 

She picked up a nice black spaghetti strap dress. She looked at in on the hanger first then she went to try it on. It was a perfect fit. It was small and sleek. She smiled at herself in the mirror. She was happy with her self image. The dress accentuated her body and it went well with her new haircut. No one had really noticed her changes except Warrick. She then scowled.

"Don't be stupid," she said, unzipping the dress and putting it back on the hanger. All she had to do now was find some shoes and some jewelry.

***

Warrick thought that Sara needed a little R&R. After all, she was going to be on leave for two months. He didn't want Sara to have another break down just from pure boredom. She needed to get out more and see things instead of living in, as she so ironically put it, a 'fishbowl'. She was one to talk about Amelia when Sara was lonely herself.

He didn't know what he was feeling for her. She was certainly different, and she opened up to him, which made him feel honored because Sara didn't open up to just anybody. She carefully guarded her past and personal life.

He asked her to go out with him somewhere. He told her to wear something nice. He knew by now she would be out shopping, a woman's prerogative when it came to things as this. He couldn't picture Sara shopping though. She was too impatient for that, he imagined. The crowds, the long lines, the lack of tasteful clothing. It had to be frustrating.

He just shook his head and glanced at the clock on his wall. It was three-thirty in the afternoon. He decided to go run a few errands then he would come back and get ready to go pick up Sara.

***

After about two hours of shopping, Sara stopped in the food court to get some lunch. Most of the places in the food court had meat. Mr. Panda was the most vegetarian friendly. She ordered two egg rolls, fried rice, and rice noodles with sweet and sour sauce. She sat down and began to eat. After her lunch, she would go home and prepare for Warrick to pick her up.

She looked at the throngs of people walking by, doing their shopping, eating, leaving, running after their children. Usually it would annoy her, but on this particular day, she didn't let it bother her. Life was too short, and she couldn't spend her life holed up in her apartment because of her quirks about society. She was thirty-three years old, and she didn't want to waste anymore of her life being lonely. Only she could make herself truly happy. Only she could get herself to the place where she needed to be.

As for Grissom? Sara smiled. She got up and threw her feelings for him, along with her trash, away. She picked up her bags and never looked back.

On her way out, she ran into Hank and Elaine, of all people.

"Wow, Sara," Elaine said with a sarcastic grin. "I'm surprised to even see you out in the light of day." 

Sara rolled her eyes. She did not have time for childish banter.

"Elaine," Hank said. "Sara, what are you doing here?"

"What the hell do you think I'm doing?" Sara spat back.

Hank jumped at her tone. 

Sara just raised her hand up. "I don't have time for this. I'm going out tonight, so if you and Mrs. Pedigree, I mean grew, don't mind, I'll be on my way. Nice talking to you."

Elaine scowled deeply, revealing the wrinkles around the corners of her mouth. She was fat, too. Pregnancy did not enhance any of her features.

Hank stepped aside and Sara rushed past Elaine out the store. Sara had never felt so good. It was liberating, and she felt like a new woman. It had to be the pills. Sara couldn't stand the sight of Hank, and every time she saw him, she wanted to yell at him and call him names. The man even had nerve to send her a wedding invitation. Sara tore it up and threw it into her blazing fireplace, burning symbolically her wrath. But today, he wasn't worth her time. She was trying to change her life. She took her break down seriously. And the cause of the break down was because of her struggle with not being able to let go. She had to move on. Move on from Grissom, and from Hank. 

As soon as Sara entered her apartment, she went over to her bedroom and looked at her police scanner. Out of habit, she motioned to change the frequency, but she stopped herself. She stood staring at it for what seemed like minutes, but were really a few seconds before turning it off and taking it out of her apartment. She chucked it in the nearest trash can that could hold it. The door man looked at her strangely. After about twenty more minutes, she came back down with a big box of something. 

Sara was throwing away all of her old forensic journals, and magazines along with new catalogues that piled up and coupons. 

By the time Sara finished throwing away older books and periodicals, her shelves were almost completely empty. She found she had more desk space after getting rid of her scanner. She threw out all of the coupons for take out. It was time to buy some real food. She had not cooked herself a nice, warm, meal in a long time. Biscuits and gravy sounded good. But unfortunately, she didn't have time to make it. She had to get ready to go. 

Before Sara got ready, she took a glance around her apartment. She was peeling away her old life. She drove herself crazy. It was time that she changed, and she was changing for the better.

***

As Warrick made his way to the entrance, bearing lilies for her, he noticed a pile of things sitting by the trash can. He looked closer, then he chuckled. He knew who did that. The scanner was evidence enough. 

"Who are you here to see sir?" The doorman asked politely and cheerfully.

"I'm here to see a Miss Sara Sidle," Warrick answered.

"Hold on a few seconds sir," the doorman said. He made a call to Sara's apartment. "What's your name sir?" 

"Warrick Brown," he said.

"Yes, Miss Sidle, this is Dean," the doorman said. "Were you expecting a Warrick Brown?"

Warrick could hear Sara's voice over the phone. 

"Alright sir, you're cleared to go up," Dean said as he opened the door. 

"Thanks," Warrick said. 

Sara lived on the third floor. He walked up to her apartment and knocked on the door.

"Just a minute," Sara's muffled voice called from within her apartment. He heard her heels click against the hard wood flooring. She opened the door. "Hey."

Warrick was awestruck by her appearance. He'd never seen her in a dress before and she looked stunning. He involuntarily gave her a once over. She was beautiful from head to toe. And he could actually see her toes. She was wearing nice heels.

"Come in," she said. She stepped aside to let him in.

"These are for you," Warrick said, handing her the bouquet of lilies.

"Thank you," she said. "Let me put these in some water and then we can go."

Warrick nodded. He watched her as she walked. Her hips swayed to their own natural rhythm. She had beautiful legs. Cross Country legs. He looked at something else. Warrick had never been in her apartment, so the changes she had made earlier were lost on him. He felt a little embarrassed at ogling at his friend in such a manner. He couldn't deny that Sara was beautiful, but he was her friend, and he should not have been looking at her in the way he did. 

Even though Warrick mentally bereted himself, he couldn't keep his eyes off of her. She was gorgeous.

"Ready?" She asked.

"Yeah," Warrick answered, offering his arm. She smiled an they headed out.

***

Sara knew that Warrick was looking at her. And she also knew that it wasn't in a friendly way. She secretly liked that. She felt so much better about herself that she didn't even blush. She was proud of her appearance. 

The lilies he brought her were beautiful. She'd kept the other ones as well and she added it to her décor.

Sara was aware that she and Warrick were walking a fine line between friendship and something much more serious. She didn't know which way they were going to go, but she was ready for it if it came. Sara had been seeing Warrick differently lately, and she found herself falling for him. She wasn't sure if he felt the same way about her.

"So," Sara asked cheerfully. "Where are you taking me?"

"I'm taking you to this club called Simon's," Warrick explained. "The owner's a good friend of mine, and he's going to make your visit special. You are going to be the lady of the house tonight."

Sara smiled. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Warrick said. "And you deserve it."

When they arrived, Warrick dropped her off at the door, then went to find a parking space. A few minutes later, he came back and ushered her in. 

The club was crowded and Sara scoured the place for a seat.

"Where are we going to sit? This place is packed," Sara said as Warrick helped her take off her coat.

"Let me take care of that," Warrick said. "Here," he said handing her a twenty. "Why don't you buy us some drinks and I'll come back and get you when I get us a table?"

"Sounds good," Sara said with a smile. "What do you want to drink?"

"Mexican soda," Warrick said. "I'll be right back."

Sara nodded and ordered the drinks. The bartender put on a show while mixing the drinks. Sara was not paying attention. She was looking around the busy club. It was nice and sophisticated. There was dancing and live music. She'd been to clubs much like this one, but the ones that she went to were wilder and more involved. Simon's was a nice place to come and hang out.

The bartender handed her the drinks and she sipped at hers while holding Warrick's. After a few more minutes, he came back to her.

"Right this way," he said. She handed him his drink. "Thanks."

They had a seat near the front of the stage.

"This is very nice," she said. "Thank you."

Warrick was ever the gentleman. He sat down close to her so that he could hear her while the music was playing.

"I'm having a good time," Sara said.

They didn't talk for a while. Sara didn't know what to say to him. She was too busy stealing glances at him. The man was downright sexy. He had on a black sweater with black slacks. That was a nice color on him, but she preferred when he wore blue. Either way, he was still attractive. Sara shook her head. She should not be thinking about him in that way. She wasn't even sure if he felt the same way about her.

It was a good feeling to be out for a change. She had matured since her college days and she rarely went out. She wasn't a very social person, and besides, every guy in the clubs that she went to were always hitting on her and trying to convince her to go home with them. She was willing to admit that she had a wild streak, but that was only because her parents didn't pay attention to her. They could have cared less. She lost her virginity when she turned seventeen. She had instantly regretted the morning. She couldn't even remember who she lost it with. All she remembered was the pain of her virginity and how quickly it ended with no emotions attached. It was amazing how a man could get on with his life so easily, yet a woman couldn't. It puzzled her.

"I can almost see the wheels turning in your head," Warrick quipped. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing," Sara said, looking down at her hands. "Warrick, there are a lot of things I want to tell you, but not right now. I want to enjoy myself tonight for once. I feel like a new woman."

Warrick smiled. "I'm glad that you're doing better," he said, avoiding the subject of her break down.

Later, the lead guitarist asked Warrick to come up and back him and the band up on piano. Sara had no idea that Warrick could play the piano until the Amelia Ruben case. They were searching the loft and Warrick played a few notes for some reason. Sara smirked. Not only was he smart, but he was talented.

He got up and walked on the stage. He took his place at the piano. Sara looked on in awe. He played very well, and she couldn't keep her eyes off of him. He played with such passion and he felt it, and so did she. She saw Warrick in a new light. She now had respect for him as a musician, his well-hidden talent. 

He dedicated a medley to her. She blushed. At that very moment, she had fallen deeply in love with Warrick.

***

Sara really did enjoy herself and Warrick was glad. It would have been terrible if she did not enjoy herself.

"Thank you," she said. "I had such a great time tonight."

"You're welcome," Warrick said. "By the way, where did you learn how to dance like you did tonight?"

Sara raised an eyebrow. "I never had any formal training or anything. I just dance."

Warrick nodded. He thought that he would have difficulty in the dancing aspect, but he was surprised and blown away by Sara's dancing. She had to have been a twirler or something to be so light on her feet.

"Well, thanks again," Sara said. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. His heart skipped a beat within his chest. She took his breath away. He wondered how he couldn't see such beauty buried underneath her tough exterior before. "I'll see you later. Remember, I'll be here for the next two months, so don't hesitate to call."

Warrick nodded. Sara smiled and then she closed the door to her apartment. 

Warrick headed home to his apartment.


	5. Chapter Five

Where the Grass is Greener

Chapter Five

Sara woke up early that morning. She got up and showered quickly and got dressed. She was heading over to the cemetery. 

The morning was bright and crisp. It was a Saturday, and most people were still sleeping. People liked to sleep in. Sara didn't. She felt that it waste one's day. She was an early bird by nature, even if she only got a few hours' sleep during the night, she would still wake up early, well rested. 

Sara hoped that her day was going to be okay.

She made it to the cemetery. It was calm and tranquil. She walked up the pathway to greet Mr. Adler. He had taken his wife's death very hard. He was still in shock after nearly two years. Pamela Adler was raped and shot two times, left for dead. Sara promised that she would find the person who did it. It turned out to be a fifteen year old. He was involved in gang activity and he knew the system well. He raped the poor woman and killed her. Sara had a vengeful spirit fall upon her that day. The kid was only going to get forty-eight months in juvenile detention. It was not enough. 

No body knew it, but she went in to see the young boy a few days after the close of the case. She was full of fury and wrath that she couldn't even see straight. Pamela's husband told her that they had a baby boy just a few months before. Sara remembered the day clearly:

__

Sara walked into the interrogation room and slammed the door. The kid had an evil smirk on his face and he looked almost proud of what he did. Sara wasn't smiling. She put both hands on the corners of the table.

"Give me one reason why you attacked her," Sara said firmly.

The teen did not give so much as a flinch at her tone. He simply shrugged.

Sara looked away in fury. "Oh so you thought you'd just go for a stroll in the mall and then choose one then huh? Well guess what? You chose a new mother. She just had a baby boy three months ago. You didn't kill just a woman. You killed a wife and a mother too."

"Lady, I ain't afraid of you," he said, leaning in. "And you better hope that I don't see you around when I get up out of here."

"You don't scare me little boy," Sara said, her eyes in slits now. "If I do see you, and you're hurting someone else, I promise you, your life will be a living hell."

"Your skinny little ass can't hurt me," he said standing up.

"Oh so you think you're tougher than me? Okay. C'mon then. Rape me! I dare you. You think you're so tough. Mind you I have a gun. So step up! Rape me!"

The boy looked at her then sat back down. "Na," he said. "You ain't even worth it."

"No, you're a coward," Sara said, getting in his face. "You like defenseless, helpless, isolated women. You're not tough. You haven't taken on anyone who can kick your ass. You couldn't even take me on. You're just a sick little bastard and the next time you cross paths with me, I'll make damn sure that you rot in jail. And prisoners don't take too kindly to rapists. That is a promise."

The boy backed off and he looked at her, his glare softening into a look of fear. Sara held her stance for a few seconds more before leaving.

The kid was stabbed to death in a fight at the juvenile detention center. Sara was glad that he was put out of his misery. She knew that as he got older, he would only get worse and he would eventually get up to the point of hurting women that were armed or knew defense tactics. Unfortunately, justice came too late for Pamela Adler. Sara gathered herself before approaching the bench in front of Pamela's grave.

"Mr. Adler," Sara said solemnly.

He turned around. Sara smiled.

"Hey," he said. "Have you been?"

"Uh," Sara paused for a bit. "I'm fine. I'm good. You?"

He sighed and looked back at his wife's grave. "I suppose I'm okay," he answered. "I'm holding up." 

Sara nodded and looked at Pamela's grave as well. She felt the tears well up in her eyes. "How's Matthew?"

"He's fine," he said. "He's just like his mama."

They sat in silence for a while before Sara decided to leave Mr. Adler in peace with his wife.

"Have a good day, Mr. Adler," Sara said. "Tell Pamela that I'll be coming around to see her again soon."

He only faintly smiled and nodded. Sara let her tears flow as she walked back down to her car.

***

Warrick woke up to the shrill sound of his alarm clock. It was nine o'clock. He threw the covers off of him and put on a shirt. He went to the kitchen and put on some coffee. He wanted to pick up the phone and call Sara, but he figured she might still be sleeping. Then again, she never slept, so he picked up his phone and dialed her number.

"Hello?" She answered.

"Hey girl," he said. 

"Hey Warrick," Sara said cheerfully, even for herself. "What are you doing up so early?"

"I would ask you the same thing, but you never sleep," he joked.

"Smart-ass," Sara chuckled. "So, what are you up to?"

"Nothing, actually," he answered. "I'm just making some coffee."

"Ah," Sara said. "Yeah, I'm about to make myself some coffee as well."

Warrick couldn't think of anything else to say. He wanted to talk to her, but not over the phone.

"Warrick?" Sara asked.

"Yeah?" 

"I um," she couldn't get out whatever she was trying to say. "I-I have to go. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay," Warrick said, slightly baffled at why she didn't say what she wanted to say. "Bye."

"Bye." 

They hung up at the same time.

***

"God!" Sara screamed to herself. "I'm such a freaking idiot!"

She was frustrated. She wanted to tell Warrick how she felt about him, but the words didn't escape her mouth. That had been an awkward conversation, and she growled in frustration. 

She went to her bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror.

"I love Warrick," she said to herself. "Why can't I tell him that? Why am I talking to myself in the mirror?"

She stormed to her living room and turned on the TV. She had nothing better to do at the moment. There were morning shows and talk shows on. She decided on Live with Regis and Kelly. Even though she didn't particularly like the show, it was the only thing on of substance. She realized that she had to take her medicine. She got up and went into her bathroom. 

Sara picked up her prescriptions and put one of each into her hand. She filled a glass of water then she took the pills. She chugged all the water and then looked in the mirror again. 

"I'm in love with Warrick," she said with a dreamy smile on her face. Then she walked out into the living room again.

She never felt love so deeply before. She then realized that with Grissom, it wasn't true love. It was more like a crush. She wanted him because she knew that he wanted her. She never declared love to him ever, but in her heart she thought it was love. But it was something much different because, she felt something for Warrick down the line too. Was it love, or infatuation? She didn't really know. Was she fooling herself again with Warrick?

Sara was starting to get a headache and she laid down on the couch. All of her new feelings were too much to handle. There were so many changes going on, that she began to ramble to herself. 

"It's the meds," she whispered to herself. "It's the meds."

She sighed and dozed off.

A few hours later, she woke up hungry. She automatically went to her fridge for her takeout coupons, but she had thrown them all out. She opened her fridge to half emptiness. She needed to go shopping. She groaned and grabbed her keys and headed to the grocer's. 

She went to a whole foods store. She picked up a vegetarian cookbook. That would help her along. She grabbed various breads, and vegetables. She browsed around mostly, looking for things besides tofu, which was most of the store. She picked up cereal, bagels, and English muffins. She grabbed some fruits and nuts. The store had a large selection of what she needed. 

By the time she left the store, she had two full baskets of food.

When she got home, she put everything away neatly in her kitchen.. She looked around. Her kitchen had cows in it. She loved the Hershey's Chocolate Milk Cows and any other cow. They decorated her kitchen and they went along with her vegetarian life, minus three stomachs. Sara smiled and then she pulled out her cookbook. All of the recipes were tempting and they looked filling. It was more than what Sara ate on a daily basis. She smiled. 

Sara placed the cookbook on a stand atop her refrigerator and then she ate a bagel with cream cheese. She popped in a movie. Just as the movie started, the phone rang. She rolled her eyes and picked it up.

"Hello?" 

"Hey Sara, it's me Catherine."

"Hey," Sara said. "How are you?"

"Good," she said. "I was calling to ask the same thing."

"Oh," Sara said. "I'm fine. I'm better."

"That's good," Catherine said. "I bet you're bored out of your mind by now." 

Sara cocked her head to one side. "No, not really," she explained. "I've been going out and running errands and the like."

"That's good," Catherine said. "I'm glad that you're better. We miss you."

"I miss you guys too," Sara said. "But, I've made some changes, and I probably won't be the same when I get back."

"How so?" Catherine asked.

Sara wasn't ready to talk about it yet. "Later, Catherine. I'm not really ready to talk about things yet."

"Oh," Catherine sounded slightly hurt. "Well, if you ever need to talk, I'm here." 

"Thanks Cat," Sara said appreciatively. "I'll see you." 

"Okay, bye," Catherine said before hanging up.

Sara hung up and continued to watch the movie. It had been a long time since she just sat down and relaxed. It was a rear thing for her to just sit down and watch TV. She didn't like watching TV much. It bored her. It still did, but she didn't feel like doing anything else. Besides the television, her apartment was completely quiet. With her scanner gone, she could no longer hear the constant static and the noise. She didn't realize how much it really bothered her until it was gone. Grissom had been right about her getting a diversion. She definitely did burn out. It was an embarrassing burn out as well. Years of pent up depression and unshed tears came to a boiling point. She was like a volcano. Unpredictable, and ready to blow at any moment. She was glad that she was able to salvage some form of sanity. Now, her diversion was trying to improve her life. She felt so much better with the scanner gone. When the scanner was there, she felt like she was still at work; like she never really left work. 

Warrick had been right. Work couldn't be her life. There were going to be things that were more important to her than work, like her sanity. She didn't want to have to go through that again. She would never forget that feeling of being detached from her body when she had her break down. All of the life force was drained from her body and all that was left was a shell crying uncontrollably, hysterically. She knew that it was an image that her coworkers wouldn't soon forget.

Now that she was away from work, she had plenty of time to think things over, reevaluate her life, and change things that needed to be changed in order to stay mentally healthy. The hardest part was talking about her break down. In truth, she was ashamed. Ashamed that her friends had to witness it, and ashamed that it happened. She felt some how lower than everyone else because she got burnt out.

Sara sighed and she bit into her bagel in thought.

***

Warrick missed Sara at the lab. Her presence was enough for him to get on with the shift. As a team, they were all thrown off because one of their own was not there beside them. 

Warrick did not know what his reason for calling her was. The conversation was awkward, for lack of a better word, and she seemed slightly flustered over the phone. Why couldn't he just say it? Why couldn't he tell Sara that he loved her?

"Earth to Warrick," Nick said, waving a hand in front of his face. 

"What?" Warrick asked.

"Don't tell me you've gone off the deep end too," Nick said.

"No, I was just thinking," Warrick said. "What's up?" 

"You, obviously," Nick quipped. "You've been acting weird all night man. Did you not get enough sleep on your night off?"

Warrick went back to filling out paperwork. Nick didn't know how right he was. He couldn't keep his mind off of Sara. He hadn't forgotten how beautiful she looked in that dress.

There was something about Sara that made him have feelings for her from the first day he met. At first he thought she was the psycho bitch from hell, but the more he got to know her, the more he liked her. He found that her determined personality was something he liked in a woman. She was like a big puzzle to him. The more he saw of her, the more he wanted to know about her. She kept her personal life a huge secret and it made him want to delve into her past. The other thing that attracted him to her were her eyes. They were a dark, chestnut brown that could incite fear or bring out the best in a person. 

Really, the only thing that truly made him melt any time was her smile. Her bright, sparking, gap-toothed smile was what he desired from her on a nightly basis. She looked beautiful when she smiled. All of the men at CSI treasured it when she smiled. It was a rare thing when she did.

The end of shift finally came, and he went to the locker room to gather his things. Nick came in.

"Hey man," he said cheerfully. "Wanna go grab something to eat?"

"Yeah," Warrick said.

They went to a Denny's down the street.

"So, have you talked to Sara lately?" 

"Yeah, just two days ago," Warrick answered. "She's doing better."

"Good," Nick said as he sipped his coffee. "For a while there I was afraid that she wouldn't come back to us. She scared me half to death. I'd never seen her cry."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Warrick said. "I knew for a while that there was something different about her. She was more quiet than usual, withdrawn. I talked to her a couple of times before her break down, and she told me that she was just lonely."

"Lonely?" Nick asked incredulously. "She has us. I mean, she could have called any of us anytime. We're not just coworkers, we're friends. We're like family."

"I don't think that loneliness was the only reason," Warrick added. "She told me that she had things that she wanted to tell me, but she would tell me later."

"What kind of things?" Nick asked, a little hurt that Sara hadn't come to him. Sara was like his little sister and he let her know on many occasions that she could trust him.

"I don't know," Warrick said, looking out the window. It was a bit cloudy out side, almost like it was going to rain. 

When their food came, they ate in silence. Nick Stokes was his best friend. They were there for each other when things got rough. 

"Hey," Nick started. "What are you thinking about?"

Warrick sighed. He may as well tell his friend how he felt about Sara.

"I think I'm in love with Sara," he confessed.

Nick let a smile creep slowly across his face. "Ha! I knew it man! I knew it!"

"What? Nick come on, I just realized this two days ago," Warrick explained. "So what exactly did you know?"

"C'mon, you can't say that you haven't had feelings for her," Nick cajoled. "I've seen the way you look at her sometimes." 

"Yeah, feelings, but I never admitted that I love her until now," Warrick said. "I don't know what it is about that woman. You'd think I'd avoid a relationship with her after our rough start. Yeah we're friends now, but how would we sustain in a relationship? That is, if she feels the same way."

"Have you talked to her?" Nick asked. "Have you told her how you feel yet?"

"No," he said. "If I did, I wouldn't be stressing it to you."

"Gotcha," Nick said. "So why don't you just tell her then? Get it off your chest?"

"I tried to the other day when I called her, but it was all awkward and untimely, so I hung up," Warrick explained. "Maybe I'm mistaking sympathy for love."

"No," Nick said insistently. "Don't say that, just talk to her."

"I don't know what to say to her," Warrick said.

"She's going to be off for the next month and a half," Nick said practically. "It's not going to be hard to make a date with her to tell her how you feel."

"And what if she doesn't feel the same way? Answer that one Einstein," Warrick quipped.

"Okay, if she doesn't, at least she'll know that you care about her and that you'll be ready for her when she feels it's time," Nick said with a smile.

Warrick glared at his friend. "Man, it scares me that you have an answer for almost everything."

"Hey, what are friends for?" Nick asked. "Besides, I can't help it that I know everything."

"Really? Then what's the square root of three-hundred seventy?" Warrick asked.

Nick took out a pen and began to scribble on a napkin. 

"Off the top of your head, freak," Warrick said.

Nick glared at Warrick this time. "Funny."

After his breakfast with Nick, Warrick went home. He was tired and he wanted to get some sleep. 

He walked in and turned on his hall light. It was still a bit dark out, and his curtains were drawn as well. Thanks to his barely there father, he owned a four bedroom two bathroom condo. It was more than he really needed, but he didn't want to seem unappreciative. After all, his dad wanted to make up for all the lost time with his son. 

Joseph Brown was living in Chicago, Illinois with his wife Harriet and he had two more sons with her. He owned a chain of restaurants, the source of his wealth. Warrick never understood what it was about him that made his father love him less than his other two sons. He figured it was revenge against his mother. Warrick still did not know the whereabouts of his mother. She left him alone in their apartment one night and never came back when he was just seven years old. That was when he moved in with his grandmother. From the time he moved in, to the time he moved out, he gave his grandmother Hell. He loved her fiercely, but he was a troublemaker. Always the instigator, but would swear he had nothing to do with it.

When she died, he felt that he had no one else; and that was when his father lent him a helping hand. He received a check in the mail for twenty-thousand dollars. He bought his first apartment and put the rest of the money in a savings. Years later, his father was in town, but ironically, Warrick didn't get the chance to see him. But, the day his father left, there was a new condo waiting for him. The rent paid for the next six months. That was over three years ago, and since then, Warrick has received checks from him, but nothing else. 

He didn't even know what his father looked like.

He made use of the extra space; one room was his bedroom, the other rooms serving as a gym, guest bedroom, and office. It was okay, and it seemed a little less empty. He'd had a few roommates come and go, a few women come and go. 

He was comfortable with being single, and women said that he was possibly the cleanest bachelor in the entire state of Nevada. 

Warrick collapsed onto his bed and fell instantly asleep, his thoughts on his somewhat shadowy childhood, torturous and unruly teenage years, and of Sara. He didn't know what he would say to her. At the moment, she was driving him crazy.

***

A few days later, Sara found herself preparing to go to dinner with Warrick. He was coming to pick her up in a few minutes, and she was applying lipstick. She hoped she looked okay, since this particular occasion warranted her buying another new dress. This time it was a violet dress that swirled at her ankles. It was strapless, and she wore a teardrop necklace. Her shoes were black stilettos; the most uncomfortable shoes to ever adorn her feet. 

She looked at herself in the mirror to make sure that she looked okay. It was about the third or fourth time she'd done that. Her hair was adorned with small sparking hair pins.

There was a call. She picked up her phone. It was the doorman, Dean. She told him that Warrick could come up.

Sara went to the mirror and checked herself again. She hoped he liked the dress since he was going to be the only person to see her in a dress. She was even surprised at how she looked in a dress. It had been years since she'd worn one, and she knew that pants and a nice shirt was not suitable for a dinner date, unless it was fast food and a movie. There was a knock at the door. She pinched her cheeks to blush them even more and then she answered.

"Hey," she said with a smile.

Warrick was awestruck yet again. "Hi," he finally said when he found his voice. "You look…"

Sara blushed and looked away.

"Sara, you look beautiful.," he said in adoration.

"Thank you," Sara said. She did not like all the attention. She looked at him and he was wearing a suit. "You look good too."

"Thanks," he said, still admiring her radiance. They stood there looking at each other for a few moments, then they looked away.

"Come in for a sec," Sara said quickly after realizing that he was standing in the hallway. "Just let me get my coat and purse, then we can go."

"Warrick nodded. "Take your time."

Sara smiled then went to her bedroom. Her coat was laying neatly across the chair to her desk, and her purse was hanging off of it. She put on her coat and then she slung her purse over her shoulder. She examined herself once again in her mirror then she went back to Warrick.

"Okay," she said. 

Warrick to her to Veladi Ranch. It was a nice restaurant and she liked the atmosphere. 

"How many?" The hostess asked. 

"Two nonsmoking please," Warrick said.

"Okay, right this way," she said as she grabbed two menus. 

Sara hooked her arm in his as they followed the hostess to their table. No one had ever treated Sara to a nice dinner like this. She never had to dress up nicely for a date before the last two with Warrick. She had to admit, the guy got around. 

"Will this table be alright for you?" The hostess asked hospitably.

Warrick looked at Sara before answering. She nodded. "Yeah, this is good."

Warrick nodded and the hostess put the menus in their spots. "A waiter will be with you shortly."

Warrick helped her with her jacket and then pulled the seat out for her. He was ever the gentleman, and Sara grinned.

"Thank you," she said as she picked up the menu. "This is very nice, Warrick."

"I'm glad you like it," he said. "And, this place is vegetarian friendly."

Sara smiled. "Thank you for keeping that in mind."

Warrick nodded.

Sara held her gaze on him for a few seconds, then she went to the menu. She turned to the vegetarian section. She looked through it. It had a lot of choices. A spinach wrap stuffed with four cheeses and green peppers, Southwestern sushi and egg rolls, classic Caesar salad, vegetable quesadillas topped with sour cream, and other choices too. She was impressed.

"Wow," she said.

"Yeah, and if you look right here, they have stuffed bell peppers," Warrick said, helping her find the item. "I'm not even vegetarian and I order that when I come here."

"Hmm," she said. "Sounds good."

"It is good," he said. "Order anything you want. This is for you."

Sara smiled. "Thank you."

The waiter came up. "Good evening, and welcome to Veladi Ranch," he said cheerfully. "My name is Brian, I'll be your server tonight. Are you folks interested in some wine or champagne off our new list?"

Warrick looked at Sara and she nodded.

"Yeah," he said.

"Okay, would you like a Merlot?"

"Sure," Warrick said.

"Alright," Brian said writing it down. "And what can I get for you tonight?"

"Um," Sara started. "I'll have the stuffed bell peppers please."

"Okay, and you sir?"

"I'll have the steak with a salad," Warrick said.

Brian nodded. "Okay," he said, picking up the menus. "Can I interest you in some appetizers or some garlic bread?"

"Bread please," Sara said.

"Alright, I'll be back with the bread and wine shortly."

Sara sipped at her water. Warrick was so good to her. She was wondering when it was a good time to tell him that she loved him. Maybe it wasn't a good time all together; after all, it was their second date, and she feared she might scare him off. Maybe it was she that was perverting his kindness to her. It was just her bouncing back from her emotional time. 

"What are you thinking about?" He asked.

Sara looked at him, afraid of what to say. "Uh, nothing. I was just taking in all this. I've never been out to a place like this before. You really know how to treat a girl Warrick."

"Well, I just thought that I'd take you somewhere special," he said. "You deserve more than this, I mean…"

"Warrick," she interrupted, while putting her hand on top of his. "You've done well with me. You don't have to prove anything to me. I know you mean this from the bottom of your heart."

He put his hand atop hers and she just looked into his eyes. Sara felt her heart speed up. She didn't know what else to say. She resisted the urge to tell him how much she loved and appreciated him.

The moment was rudely broken.

"Warrick? Sara?" Hodges said incredulously. 

"Hodges," Warrick and Sara said in unison. They let their hands go and sat up.

"What are you two doing here?" He asked, with his date, standing idly at his side.

"Having dinner, what else would we be doing?" Sara shot back. "Running a circus?"

Warrick stifled a grin. 

Sara hated it when people asked dumb questions to which they already knew the answer.

"Sorry," he said defensively. "Anyway, I'm just surprised to see you two here…alone."

"Why don't you mind your own business for once in your life?" Warrick asked, a little peeved. "I'm beginning to see why they ran you out of LA. All up in people's grill."

Hodges rolled his eyes and then went to his table. Sara did not like Hodges all that much. He was like a fly on the wall…watching everything and then buzzing around your head, taunting. He was so annoying. He was like the clown in a class of third graders. He always made snide remarks and was always trying to pull information from people that wasn't really his business. 

"God that guy is weird," Warrick said.

"Tell me about it," Sara said. "Anyway, don't let him ruin our dinner."

Their food came rather quickly, and they ate in silence for a minute, each unsure what they were going to say to one another. Sara was nervous. No amount of wine could calm her nerves. She wanted to tell Warrick everything. Everything about her breakdown, her family, everything. She couldn't hold it in forever.

"You know, I've been doing a lot of thinking and changing since I haven't been to work," she started, forking a piece of bell pepper. "And, I think I'm ready to talk about my breakdown."

Warrick looked at her. "Are you sure? You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I didn't take you out just to make you talk to me. I want you to know that."

"Yeah, but," Sara started. "I think that now, since you're practically the only one who's really noticed the changes that I've made over the last couple of months, that I should be the one to talk to you, then everyone else, eventually."

"Okay," Warrick said.

Sara sighed before starting. "Okay, the day I broke down, I was not able to compose myself. I started crying in the locker room, and I went to Grissom. I wanted to know if he loved me or not."

Warrick nodded. "Yeah, he told me what he told you that day."

Sara shook her head. "To think that I wasted ten years of my life loving him, and he uses that against me. He made me think that he was the only person that I could ever love so deeply."

"Do you still think that?" Warrick asked.

Sara looked at him. Her feelings for Grissom had dissipated over the last few months. She didn't feel the same around him anymore. And since finding out that he didn't share those feelings for her, she lost her feelings for him altogether.

"No, I don't," she said.

There was a long pause before she spoke again.

"I think I've been getting over him for a long time now," she admitted. "I haven't been feeling the same about him. And on top of that, I applied for the key position not to get noticed by people at the top, but to see if Grissom would actually stop and notice me…it backfired, and now he thinks I'm a nutcase with no diversions."

"Grissom doesn't think that at all," Warrick said. "Sara, maybe it's time that you did move on with your life. That's all that Grissom wants. And if he doesn't feel the same way that you feel about him, then he doesn't deserve you. You're young, beautiful and smart. I'm sure that there is someone out there for you that will love and cherish you."

Sara nodded. "Thank you for understanding."

"You're very welcome," he said.

After about thirty more minutes, they were ready to go.

"Are you sure that I can't interest you in some dessert?" Brian asked before handing them the check.

Warrick said yes, and paid for their dinner.

Sara suggested that they walk around a bit before heading home. He stopped at a local park.

They walked in silence for a minute then Sara decided it was the right time to tell him how she felt.

"Warrick," she started. 

"Yeah?" 

"You know how you said that there's someone out there who will love and cherish me?"

"Yeah," he said.

"Well, I think that someone is you," she said, stopping them.

Warrick looked rather embarrassed and he looked away. Sara knew that she made a mistake. She shouldn't have told him at that moment. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"I do love you Sara," he confessed, taking her hands. 

Sara looked up at him and grinned. "You do?" 

"Yes," he said, smiling. "I just realized this a week ago. I love you. I think that you are beautiful, and special. I was afraid to tell you because I didn't think that you felt the same way."

"I love you," Sara said. "It's the same here. You have been so good to me and you've been such a good friend and-"

He interrupted her with a kiss. Sara melted and her heart felt like it was going to burst. He was a good kisser. She rested her hands on his shoulders and deepened the kiss. It was the most heart felt kiss she had ever experienced. After what seemed like an eternity, they pulled away and looked at each other.

"And…" Sara was trying to finish what she had to say, but the words left her.

"Shh," he said, putting a finger on her lips. He drew an invisible line from her lips to her chin and kissed her lightly again.

There was heat rushing all through out her body, and it was becoming harder and harder not to jump Warrick's bones right then and there. He was so damned sexy and she couldn't help but kiss him again. This time, it was deeper and more sensual.

"Hmm," Sara whimpered. 

"Sara," Warrick mumbled through kisses. "Sara…"

"What?" She asked as she pulled away. She looked into his eyes. However she looked, it must have done something to his ability to speak and he just kissed her again.

They didn't know how long they had been kissing in the middle of the park, but a bright light was in their faces and they pulled away. It was a police officer of a bout fifty, and he was stern looking.

"Alright kids, go home," he said in a voice that signaled that it was not his first time saying it for his shift. "There is no PDA allowed in this park, and the next time you could be fined. Do you understand the rules of this measure?"

"Yes officer," Warrick said.

"Alright, go on," he said, then walked off.

Sara was smiling. "That was funny. I feel like I'm in high school all over again."

Sara leaned up and stole one more kiss from Warrick then she took his hand and they walked to the car.

***

When they reached her apartment, Sara pounced him again, pushing him against her door in the hallway. Warrick chuckled and wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her deeper. 

He found that he wanted to do more to her than just kiss her, and he tried to keep those thoughts at bay before they really took over his body.

Sara was not going to let up any time soon. He tangled his fingers in her hair and pulled her into him more. 

"Ah, we meet again," a familiar voice called from the end of the hallway. 

Sara pulled away and they looked to see that it was the same officer from the park. Sara sighed and pulled away, not bothering to fix her hair. Her lipstick had been sucked away from her lips. Warrick noticed that her lips were a bit swollen.

"Oh, don't stop on my account," he said with a smile. "I'm off duty."

Sara and Warrick smiled at each other as the officer entered his apartment. Warrick pulled her back to him and kissed her leisurely. He felt like he had been kissing her for years. She was an excellent kisser, and her lips were soft and supple. Her body was beautiful, and he let his hands travel to her hips. He had not made like this in a long time, and he was happy that it was Sara that he was making out with. He began to kiss her neck and she allowed him better access by leaning her head back. She moaned.

Her neck was creamy and soft and she smelled good too. He kissed her lips again and then Sara pulled away.

"Do you want to come in?" She asked.

Warrick didn't know what to say. Should he go in? 

"Yeah," he said. He moved aside and let her open her apartment. She took his hand and led him inside. 

She took off her coat and put down her purse. Warrick sat down on her couch.

"Warrick," she said, standing in front of him.

"Yeah?" 

"You have me," she said simply. "You have me if you want me."

With that, she leaned down and kissed him again. Warrick was trying not to give into his body wanting hers, but she was irresistible. His hands went up her thighs to her hips and pulled her down closer to him. She was now straddled on him and she kissed him deeper. His hands were moving of their own accord as they made it to her bottom. Warrick could not contain himself any longer.

"Are you sure you want to do this Sara?" He asked breathlessly.

"Yes," she said, pressing herself against him more. 

With that, he kissed her again and he began to unzip her dress. She kissed his neck as he did so, and then his hands caressed the exposed skin of her back. He felt her shudder under his touch and gasp. Her hands moved to his jacket, trying to push it off. Their lips met again and Warrick stood her up and let the dress fall to the floor in a heap. She was not wearing a bra. He stared at her breasts for a second. He could not believe that he was looking at a half naked Sara Sidle. She was beautiful. He kissed her passionately as he caressed her body.

Sara was working on trying to get his shirt off. They stumbled to her bedroom.

Warrick took off his shirt while Sara moved to his pants. She unbuckled his belt and slid it off of him and threw it to the floor. Warrick hooked his fingers in her panties and pulled them down her legs.

After what seemed like an eternity trying to get each other's clothes off, they fell back onto the plush bed and kissed frantically. Warrick tucked a strand of hair away from her face as he kissed her. He'd never loved a woman as much as he loved Sara. She was beautiful, and he found himself wanting to spend every waking moment with her. He wanted to make her happy, and make love to her.

Sara wrapped her arms and legs around him. He took that as a sign that she was ready for him.

"Oh God," Sara moaned in ecstasy. "Mm…"

They made love to each other at an agonizingly slow pace. Warrick wanted to speed up, but he also wanted to savor the feeling of being with her. He didn't want it to end quickly. Sara was not having that. She urged him deeper and faster and she clung to the pillows. Warrick took her mouth again and kissed her deeply. He rolled them over so that she was on top of him. Sara took advantage of that.

"Mm…" she moaned as she tangled her fingers in her hair as she rode him. "Yes…"

Warrick put his hands on her hips. She was wild and beautiful with her face aglow with pleasure and exertion. He pulled her down to him and gave her a passionate kiss. She put her hands on his shoulders and pulled herself against him. She looked into his eyes and she saw nothing but love and adoration. 

She pulled him on top of her and urged him to finish her off.

"I want you," she whispered. "Don't hold back."

Warrick kissed her and then he pressed harder into her. Sara moaned and she held tight to his shoulders. He had one hand on her thigh and the other gripping the pillow beside her head. Sara's hand traveled down his toned arm then back around his shoulder. She was close to her climax and she closed her eyes.

"Oh yes," she moaned. "Mm…I'm close."

Now he was slamming into her for both her climax and his. She was screaming and moaning in unadulterated pleasure as he quickened his thrusts. Sara clung to him and dug her nails into his back as he made love to her. He pulled her to him and kissed her deeply. He wrapped his arms around her tiny frame and continued the frenzy of their pace. 

"Oh God," she moaned. "Oh…" she gasped as her orgasm took over her body. 

Warrick climaxed as well and he pulled her to him harshly and they climaxed together. 

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," he whispered back.

They clung to each other for a while, content, happy, and satisfied.


	6. Chapter Six

Where the Grass is Greener

Chapter Six

Sara woke up early. It was seven-thirty. She stretched and yawned leisurely and rolled over. Warrick wasn't facing her, but she could tell that he was sleeping soundly. She leaned over him and kissed his cheek then she sat up and surveyed her bedroom. The only clutter was Warrick's clothes all over the place, and her panties were somewhere in the room too. Her dress had been abandoned on the living room floor. The memories of their night together were still fresh in her mind. It had been a long time. Gauging from her soreness, it had been a _very_ long time. 

She wrapped the sheet around her and got up. She opened the curtains and went into the bathroom. She brushed her teeth and then she exited and headed to the kitchen. She began to make some eggs and toast. It was a common misconception that she didn't know how to cook. The truth was that she did not like to cook. Takeout was her only food group in her apartment up until a few days ago. Sara could cook, but she never liked to, and when she did, she always made more than she could ever eat. Meals were always large, considering she lived in a B&B. People came and went, but the food was always a big issue in her family. It didn't help that her family was Italian. Sara smiled as she remembered what her mother would say every time Sara complained about too much food on the table: "In my country, children your age were lucky to even get a half-course meal, let alone have a meal at all! As your grandmother say; eat, don't be ashamed". She would say this whilst piling food on her plate.

She felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist and a kiss to her neck.

"You are such a busy body in the morning," Warrick said.

Sara smiled and she leaned up and gave him a quick kiss before returning her attention to her eggs.

"I didn't know you cooked," he said as he hugged her tighter.

"Not very often," Sara chuckled. "Don't get used to this every morning."

"Aw," Warrick said with a chuckle. "C'mon girl, what happened to the whole June Cleaver thing? A woman gets up in the morning, makes her man breakfast…packs his lunch…"

"Okay, Ward," Sara said sarcastically. "Why don't you go wake Wally and the Beaver? Don't strain yourself."

Warrick laughed. He stole a kiss from her. She elbowed him playfully.

"Cheeky."

They kissed again, and then Sara went back to making eggs, while Warrick made some coffee.

"Damn, Sara," he said, opening her cabinets in search of coffee. "You go harvest on weekends? What is all this?"

"I went shopping a few days ago," Sara explained, putting her eggs in the frying pan. "I went to a whole foods store."

"Ah, got tired of all the take out?" He asked.

She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Real mature," he chuckled. "Where do you keep your coffee?"

"In the cabinet over the sink," she said.

After a while, they sat down to breakfast. 

"Did you want some jelly?" Sara asked as she slathered some on her toast.

"Yeah," he said. "Thanks."

As Sara ate, she thought about the night before and came upon a realization.

"Warrick," she started. "Before you think about it and worry, I'm on birth control. You don't have to worry about condoms or anything."

Warrick looked at her. By the look on his face, she could tell that he was thinking about it and that he would worry if she hadn't said anything.

"I'm sorry for not asking you last night," he said earnestly.

"Sweetie, it's okay," Sara said, taking his hand.

Relief crossed his face and he brought her hand up and kissed it.

Later, when they finished breakfast, they made love again. Sara couldn't get enough.

"Oh my God," Sara panted. "That was incredible."

"I agree," he said as he leaned over and kissed her deeply again.

She pulled him on top of her again as she kissed him. Their bodies were covered in a thin layer of sweat. Sara had never felt so uplifted in her life, and she was sure that Warrick hadn't either. She didn't know where all of her energy was coming from, but the end result was earth shattering and utterly pleasurable.

"You are so fine," Warrick said to her as he caressed her sweaty body. 

Sara flushed and turned away, smiling. 

Warrick smiled back at her and he kissed her again.

***

It was well into the afternoon when Warrick woke up. Sara was already awake and moving around her apartment. He saw that she placed his clothes from last night neatly across a chair. He sat up.

"Hey there," she said with a warm smile. She hopped onto the bed, crawled over to him and kissed him. "Did you have a good nap?"

Warrick smirked and pulled her to him. "Yes I did actually."

Sara raised an eyebrow. "I can tell."

They kissed sensually. Sara let go of the sheet and exposed her naked body to him. Warrick didn't know how many times the woman could go. Her naturally being Sara, determination and strength tagging her name, she could probably go for the rest of the day. As much as he liked that, he had to go to work that night, and he didn't want to be worn out from lack of sleep.

"Sara," he mumbled through their kiss. "I have to go."

She groaned. "Why?"

"I have to work tonight babe," he said, caressing her cheek. "I know I'm not going to get any sleep if I stay here."

She smirked. She looked downright sexy when she smirked. He thought she was the most beautiful creature to ever grace God's green earth. She was like Artemis on a good day. He wished that he didn't have to go to work, but he couldn't call in sick. Not only was it unnecessary, but being winded after making love to a woman all night and some of the morning was not a good excuse. Of course, he would never say that, but in his mind, that would be his only reason.

She leaned in and kissed him passionately. "Mm," she moaned. "Just one more time, please?" She begged.

"Sure babe," he said.

Warrick thought that making love to Sara was going to be a part of his daily routine. They did it again, and it was more frantic and demanding. Warrick was in awe of Sara. She must have not had any action in quite a while. He was glad that he was the one making her scream.

He held her for a few minutes more before getting up. 

"Can I use your bathroom?" He asked.

"Yeah, go ahead baby," Sara said as she pulled the comforter up to her chin, content.

Sara's bathroom was uncharacteristically girly. He didn't know she liked the color pink. He'd known her for three years, and he had absolutely no idea what her favorite color was. Maybe it wasn't just pink. Her bathroom was meticulously clean, characteristic of her he knew because she was a neat freak. There was not a speck of dust to be found in her apartment. It was scary. He was a clean person, but not ever to Sara's extent. She was borderline obsessive.

He started the water for a shower. He didn't know whether she would freak out or not over him using her toothbrush. He knew that it would be best if he asked first.

"Hey Sara," he called.

"Yeah?"

"Do you mind if I use you toothbrush?" He asked.

Sara came into the bathroom with a look of horror on her face. "Can't you just squeeze some toothpaste on your finger?"

"Yeah," he said. "That must mean no."

"Warrick, I'm sorry," she said. "I'm real weird about that."

"Hey, it's your toothbrush," he said. "But, this is what makes me wonder," Warrick said, turning to her. "You're weird about your toothbrush yet we've had our tongues down each other's throats, mind you sharing all our saliva."

"I know, but it's not the same as brushing your teeth," Sara said practically.

Warrick thought about it for a second then realized she had a good point. Sara left the bathroom. Steam was beginning to fill in the bathroom. He opened the door to the shower and stepped into the deluge. He picked up the soap and looked at it. Caress. It would figure. He put the soap down and let the water run over his body. Sara had one of those huge shower head fixtures that poured a good spray. It was relaxing. 

Through all the steam, he could make out Sara's body through the opaque glass door. She opened it up with a naughty grin on her face.

"May I join you?" She asked.

Warrick gave her a lustful once over then pulled her in with him.

They stepped out of the shower about an hour later much happier people.

They kissed all the way to Sara's door. Warrick set her down after carrying her the whole way and continued kissing her. 

"Sweetie," he started in between kisses. "I have-to go."

Sara pulled him to her for a deep sensual kiss before pulling away, out of breath. Warrick took in the sight of her as she leaned against the wall. Her cheeks were rosy from the heat that was flushing her body and her lips were bright pink with arousal. She ran a finger down his shirt buttons, her eyes threatening to rip his clothes off again. What was another night off?

He pulled out his cell phone and called Grissom.

"Hey Griss," he said. "It's Warrick."

"Hey," Grissom said on the other line "What's up?"

"Listen I need the night off again," Warrick said. "I think I'm coming down with something. I ran a fever."

"Sure, by all means," Grissom said. "Get well."

"I will," Warrick said. "Thanks. Bye."

"Bye," Grissom said then hung up.

Warrick clicked off. 

"Now, let me tie up some loose cannons," he said as he dialed another number. Sara looked at him strangely. "Hodges." 

Sara nodded.

"Hey Nick," Warrick said. "I need you to do me a favor."

After Warrick took care of everything, Sara didn't even wait two seconds before she jumped on him, kissing him wildly. Following through on her threat, she ripped his shirt down the middle and the buttons went flying, and she pushed him down on the couch. She let the bath towel drop to the floor and then she dived on him. Calling in was definitely worth it.

***

The past two days had been satisfying on all levels for Sara. She had never had sex so many times in just two days. It was amazing to her and she felt so relieved. The love that she felt for Warrick was so strong and she wanted to be near him every chance she got. She felt rather empty when he had to leave. She wanted him there with her all of the time. 

"I love you," he said, then he kissed her. "I'll see you later, okay?"

Sara nodded. He kissed her one more time before really leaving this time around. The last time, she had managed to arouse him enough to call in.


	7. Chapter Seven

Where the Grass is Greener 

Chapter Seven

Sara was glad to be back at work. She was beginning to feel restless at home. The adjustment of going back to work was easy, but not without a few changes. Now that she and Warrick had been seeing each other every week during her absence of leave, they had to work around each other's schedules. No one else but Nick knew about the love affair that they had been having, and it wouldn't have been a secret if Nick hadn't intercepted Hodges.

The lust that Sara and Warrick shared for each other died down, and they spent a lot of time together just talking. They discussed where the relationship was going and how quickly they wanted it to progress. Sara decided that it was best to take things slowly because she still had a plethora of things to tell him about her life; both about the past and the present. He understood and he basically said the same things of himself. They both loved each other beyond words, and they made sure that one another knew that before talking about anything else.

Sara was in the break room examining some evidence from a recent break-in when Warrick walked in.

"Hey," he said, sitting next to her.

"Hey sweetie," she said whilst looking around for anybody close by. When the coast was clear, she leaned over and gave him a quick kiss then she huddled back over the evidence.

"Why don't you take a break?" He asked, slipping a hand between her thighs. She glared playfully at him. Well, the lust had almost died down.

"Warrick, not here," she whispered. "Besides, where are we going to go?"

"I don't know," he said, his hand going down her thigh. "How about the dry room?"

"No, people go in there quite a bit you know," Sara said. "How about you wait until shift is over, then I can go over to your place and you can do whatever you want to me. Sound good?"

"Yeah," he said.

"Only if you're good," Sara said warned.

Warrick grinned then looked at the evidence with her.

"What have you got?" He asked.

Sara sighed. "Nothing, I don't even know what I'm supposed to be looking for," Sara said in frustration. "I think Grissom is just giving me busy work until I go back out in the field."

"Have you talked to him yet?" He asked.

"No, but I will sweetie," Sara said before Warrick got on her for putting off talking to Grissom. "I promise, okay? I won't 'forget' this time."

Warrick looked at her skeptically then he pulled her to him and hugged her. "Sara, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You had a break down. It wasn't anything that you could have controlled. It just happened. It's okay. You're not a bad person."

Sara hugged him tightly. "I'm so scared."

"Of what?" 

"That Grissom might fire me or put me on a different shift," Sara explained. "I don't want that to happen. I want to stay with you, Nicky, Catherine, and Greg. I wouldn't be able to stand being away from you guys."

"He's not going to do that babe," Warrick assured her. "And if he does, I'm going with you."

Sara felt so loved and confident in his arms. She could feel his heart beat, and it soothed hers. She was afraid of what people would say about her and that they wouldn't be the same around her because she had a break down. She was more ashamed of that than Warrick would ever know. She didn't want anybody to even know that she tried to kill herself a few years before she came to Vegas. Both she and Warrick were very much aware of the scars on her thighs. He kissed them both every time they made love. Sara wondered what he thought of them. Did he think that it was a sign of weakness on her part? Was it out of pity? Reverence? She didn't know.

***

As usual, Sara had been good to her word. She talked to Grissom, and she came by his apartment after shift, bearing a bag.

"Hey," she said with a glint in her eyes.

"Hi," Warrick said, giving her a once over.

She came in and dropped her bag where they stood and she kissed him slowly but sensually. She ran her hands down his chest and under his shirt. Warrick cupped her butt and pulled her closer to him. Sara tried to get his shirt off, but they were holding tightly to one another. 

Warrick was fully aware that his door was still wide open. 

"Sara," he managed through their kiss. "Sweetie…the door is still open."

Sara pulled away and let him close his door. When it was closed, Warrick took her hand and led her to his bedroom. Sara put her bag in his closet as she always did when she stayed with him, then she began taking off her clothes. Warrick couldn't help but watch her. She had a beautiful body, and he liked admiring her when she was half or completely naked.

"It's a bad habit, staring," Sara quipped with a smirk.

"It's hard not to," Warrick said with a grin.

She came over to him and planted a light kiss on his lips.

They made love slowly then they held each other tightly. Warrick was kissing her neck and shoulders whilst caressing the side of her body from her breast to her thigh. Sara sighed at his touch and she snuggled closer. Warrick kissed her cheek then he planted kisses down her body. Sara turned over to her back and she let Warrick kiss her body tenderly. He loved every inch of her, and he couldn't find the right words to express that to her.

Sara was a unique woman. He wanted to know everything about her. He wanted to be with her and just love her for the rest of his life. But he didn't want to rush things with her. That was the problem with most relationships; they moved too fast and people didn't give each other time to talk and to really get to know one another. They dive into a relationship without really knowing their partners. Warrick was confident that he knew Sara enough to carry on a successful relationship, but he knew it would take some time before they discussed anything really serious like living together, getting married, and the like. Of course, he would be willing to do anything for Sara, and if she said she wanted to get married, that's what he would do. He tried to imagine life as a married man a few times before. It didn't seem half bad, except that he was with different women at the time. He knew he had to take it seriously. He didn't want to have multiple divorces because he couldn't find the right woman. 

Warrick took it all in stride, and he was confident that he and Sara were going to last. Looking at her, it was hard to believe that she had a break down. She looked so calm and centered; free of her inner struggles. Warrick knew that for Sara, it was going to be a step by step thing. She talked to Grissom at the end of shift. She was making progress. The next step would be telling Nick, Catherine, and Greg what happened. Warrick told her that she didn't have to explain her break down to anyone. He just told her that she needn't be ashamed of it.

Warrick concentrated on her nude body as he kissed his way down. She had the softest skin, and it was flawless, even with her two scars. He made it to her thighs and he kissed first one scar, then the other, then he continued his way down. He kissed her calves, then he came to her feet. He smiled at her feet. They were quite little for her being so tall. She wore size eights. Her toes were perfect, and she had a beautiful arch in them. He kissed her feet and Sara pulled them away playfully, declaring that she was ticklish in her feet.

He came back up to her face and kissed her lips tenderly.

"Warrick?" Sara started.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think we'll be okay together?" She asked. 

Warrick pushed a strand of hair from her face and said, "Yes, I think that we'll be just fine."

Sara smiled and he leaned down and kissed her.

***

Sara woke up after a long nap. It was in the afternoon, almost evening. She yawned and stretched luxuriously in bed. Warrick was next to her and he began to stir. She got up and went into his closet. She opened her bag and found a robe and put it on. Her hair was tussled and she ran her fingers through her hair as she headed to the kitchen. She retrieved a glass from the cabinet and filled it with orange juice. She took her glass then she walked over to the large window and opened the curtains. Warrick had a breath taking view of Vegas from his apartment. Sara sighed contentedly as she drank her orange juice. Something in her told her that she would love to wake up to this everyday. 

She felt Warrick's arms wrap around her waist and he gently rocked her from side to side. She leaned her head back on his shoulder. Yes, she would definitely love to wake up like this everyday. With Warrick, she couldn't complain. He made her happy. She was feeling happy, something she hadn't felt in a long time. Warrick simply made her happy. It felt so good to be happy and content with no worries and inhibitions. She didn't have to change or pretend around him. She could be herself, and she could do anything.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," she whispered back. 

They stood there for a time, admiring the skyline as the sun was getting ready to set. She never really paid much attention to the sunset since she would normally be asleep, trying to rest up for work, but she and Warrick had the weekend off, and she got a chance to slow down and admire nature's beauty. She then realized that she never took the time to admire the simple things. She really did work entirely too much before she had her break down. As much as she wised that it didn't happen, it did, and the memories of it still burned her. She never really got over the embarrassment of it all because people knew her to be calm and collected most of the time.

Warrick had assured her several times that she shouldn't be ashamed, but she couldn't help it. Sara was indeed a stranger to shame. She always stood proud because no one else was proud of her. She had to be proud of herself.

As far as her relationship with Warrick went, she was sure that she loved him, but what more did they want and desire from each other besides ravaging each other's bodies every week? She was not sure of what she wanted or expected out of their relationship. What they had now was okay with her. She wouldn't care if there wasn't ever anything else. As long as she got to stay with Warrick, she was content. She would like nothing more or less. Simplicity was what she always longed for.

She finished her glass of orange juice then she broke from his embrace gently to go wash it out. He sauntered over to the kitchen. 

"You know babe," he started. "There's this thing, it's called a dish washer."

Sara grinned. "I know, it's a habit," she explained. "I grew up in a B&B. We had a dish washer but we never used it because people were hungry all the time, so why not just wash them out?"

Warrick nodded. "So, what was it like, living in a B&B?"

Sara shrugged. "It was okay I guess," she said. "My brother and I have a lot of good memories there. The kids at school used to call me innkeeper's daughter. They thought I was spoiled because my parents were former aristocrats from Italy. They moved to Tamales Bay shortly after I was born."

Warrick nodded. "What does the B&B look like?"

"Oh, it's nothing spectacular," Sara said, going into the living room. "It's just a little villa type thing. Pure Italian. My parents love anything from the Old World Italy."

Warrick chuckled as he sat down next to Sara on the couch. She sighed as she laid her head on his shoulder. 

"My parents are going to be so ashamed of me," she said despondently. "I haven't told them about my break down yet. We haven't talked in years. They disowned me because I wanted to go to Harvard. They paid for most of my schooling there, but my dad excluded me from his will, and we haven't spoken since."

"Have you tried talking to them?" Warrick asked.

"Yes," Sara said. "But I don't care anymore. They never really cared about me that much anyway."

Warrick held her and pushed a strand of hair from her face. She looked up at him. "What about you? I bet you had wonderful parents."

Warrick chuckled mirthlessly. "No," he said. "My mom disappeared when I was seven, and my dad's never really been around. He's trying to make up for it though. He bought this condo for me a few years back, and has been giving me checks in the mail."

Suddenly, Sara knew that her situation with her parents wasn't nearly as painful as it probably was for Warrick. Both of his parents had performed disappearing acts. At least Sara's parents had been present for her childhood.

"Oh Warrick," Sara said. "I'm so sorry honey."

"It's okay," Warrick said. "I don't really miss them. My grandmother was the one that took me in."

"And she raised you into a good man," Sara commented with a smile. 

"I beg to differ sometimes," he said with a chuckle. "I wish you could meet her. She was a very feisty woman. Even more so than you Sara."

"I'm sure she was," she laughed.

She found it great that they were talking about their childhood together. It made her feel so much better. They had both suffered through awkward teenage and young adult years. Sara mentioned the fact that she thought it was amazing that their paths crossed. She never expected being with him, in his arms, smiling brightly. If her nineteen year old self appeared in the room right now, she would be shocked and appalled. 

"I love you," she said.

"I love you too," Warrick said, then he leaned down and gave her a sweet kiss.

Sara deepened the kiss and she untied her robe and pulled it open, enticing him. Warrick pushed it off her shoulders as she pulled him down on the couch with her.

***

At work, Warrick had been acting normal, despite the many times he'd made love to Sara over the past two months. He didn't _look_ like he'd been romancing and satisfying her. Nick was apparently unaware of the intimate nature of his and Sara's relationship because he wasn't bugging him or asking any questions. 

Sara was pretty much the same, going with the flow, as if nothing was happening. She was even elusive to the ever-observant Catherine. 

That was how he and Sara desired it to be for at least another month. They couldn't hide their relationship from their friends forever, plus, it was becoming rather difficult to explain missed phone calls at one or the other's residence. 

The lust they had for each other heated back up after the night on the couch. Warrick smirked at the memories. A woman had never done what she did to him, and he liked it, surprisingly enough. He could tell that Sara fully enjoyed it herself. Every time she passed by him, she would smile at him lustfully, seductively, letting him know what to expect when they got home.

"Home" was either one's residence. They had not talked about living arrangements yet because they felt that it was too early in the relationship. Warrick was sure of the fact that he loved Sara, but how far was their relationship going to go? How far did Sara want it to go? The possible answers to that question frightened him. He tried not to think about that question too often. He was sure that Sara had been asking herself the same questions during their relationship. 

Warrick was in the break room when he spotted Sara coming towards it. She looked happy and relaxed. To everyone else, that was rare form for Sara, but Warrick knew that it had become her normal mood.

"Hey," she said with a smile. They avoided using pet names at work, so as not to give themselves away.

"Hey," he said back. "What are you so happy about?"

Sara turned and looked at him with a glint in her eyes. "I don't know," she admitted. "I just feel so much happier and content now. I swear it's the medicine."

Warrick knew when she went off her medication. He frequently scolded her for not taking her meds, thinking that she was better. She would get upset at him, and not talk to him. He didn't care if she threw a tantrum. She needed to stay on her medication. If she didn't she would be right back to square one. Sara insisted that she was better and that she didn't need them, but Warrick wasn't taking any chances.

"Have you been taking your meds?" He asked her firmly.

She scowled at him and turned her back to him and sighed. "Warrick…"

"Sara, you need to take your medication," he said. "You don't want to get depressed all over again do you?"

"Warrick, we go through this almost every week," she said in frustration. "I'm fine. I feel better and I don't need them."

"Sara, yes you do," he sighed in frustration. "You're a grown woman, I don't want to have to make sure you take your medicine like a little kid. Sara, you need to take your meds. I can tell that you haven't been taking them."

"Warrick, I wish you would stop treating me like some fragile piece of China," she nearly shouted. "You're right, I am a grown woman, and I know when I feel better, and I do feel better. I'm not crazy, Warrick. So stop treating me like some escaped psych patient."

Warrick was slightly hurt by what she said. Is that how she felt he'd been treating her?

"Sara, how can you say that?" He asked, his anger boiling. "I have been nothing but supportive of you. If you feel that way, then why do we keep seeing each other?"

Sara turned to him, glaring. "I don't know," she said. "But maybe we should stop seeing each other. Maybe this whole relationship was forged out of pity. I was lonely, and you were the only person who really gave a shit about me." 

He words stung him even more. "So, this is it then?" He asked solemnly.

Sara crossed her arms stubbornly over her chest. "Yeah, I guess it is."

Warrick sighed heavily and turned from her.

"Maybe it wasn't really love in the first place," she said. Each word felt like a lash striking his back. "I'll come by after work and pick up my things."

Warrick said nothing as he heard her leave the room. He didn't even give a look her way down the hall. He instantly regretted what he said about her taking her medication. He shouldn't have brought it up. It was true, he hadn't been treating her right lately, but only because she would stray from taking her medication. He loved and cared about her deeply and the last thing he wanted to see was Sara depressed. She made him privy of the fact that she tried to commit suicide before. That did not help him overcome his fears for her.

***

Sara's heart was aching. She didn't know if that was her speaking to Warrick like that. It was as if there was another part of her that lashed out. She didn't mean to let it out so coldly. Maybe it was about time that they took a break, but she really didn't want to. She was fully aware that Warrick was right. She hadn't been taking her medication regularly. She really did think that she was okay, but she truly wasn't. She only found herself falling even harder for him.

Sara entered her apartment and she collapsed on the bed, crying hysterically. The pain and guilt she felt was excruciating. It was tearing her heart and mind to pieces. She was in love with Warrick, and she knew that he was in love with her. What was the problem? She was sure that she had ruined their friendship and their chances at ever getting back together. Her tears soaked her pillow as she screamed and moaned out her deepest sorrow. She still had many things on her mind that she had not told Warrick about. Something that she had kept hidden for many years, even her parents were unaware that the event took place. She had truly succeeded in burying it within her soul, and now it was rearing it's ugly head yet again…

__

It was the summer of 1979, and Sara was enjoying her summer vacation. She was only eight years old, and she had passed the third grade with grades that were phenomenal in all areas. The teachers proposed that she skip to fifth grade level so that she would be more challenged. Her parents refused. It was one of those things that made her mad at her parents. 

Anyway, it was summer, and she didn't want it to be overshadowed in any way.

In the middle of a breezy, temperate afternoon, Sara walked the back road into town to go get some small items from the grocery store. The ocean breeze was light and calm. Her mother told her that it would be a good day to wear her blue cotton dress. Sara wore a dress or two at that time, and she wore the blue one on special days, when she felt extra pretty.

So, Sara walked along the roadside, admiring the nature all around her. She then realized what God was talking about when he took the seventh day of the creation to admire his work. The forest in the summer time was like a large green tapestry; a tapestry that could only be weaved by angels.

Sara noticed the sound of a very rundown pick up coming her way. It's transmission was truly in need of some serious work. 

The men behind the wheel were looking at her in a way she couldn't recognize; the first word that came into her mind was approval. She found nothing wrong in that because her father looked at her mother that way. She faced forward again and began walking a little faster. She heard the pick up going a little faster. Sara's quick walking turned into jogging, then it turned into a full sprint. She had no idea that she could run as fast as she was running. 

She looked behind her and the truck was closer than she thought. 

She began to cry as she felt a large hand grip her collar and pull her into the truck.

"No! Let go of me!" she screamed.

The stranger clamped a hand over her mouth. She opened her mouth and bit his hand hard enough for him to let go of her long enough to open the door. She jumped out and fell hard to the ground and rolled into the dirt. The truck stopped. Sara was a bit dazed and she tried to get up fast enough to run home.

She felt her legs trying to carry her to safety, but the man grabbed her again and took her into the woods. She was fighting and crying.

He placed her on the ground and she felt his heavy weight atop her. The other man watched in sadistic delight as she was being tortured by the other man. They both had vile breath and ugly smiles that made her want to throw up. Her only thought was why did she have to feel extra pretty today? Why did she wear the dress?

When they were done, they left her. Her dress was bunched up to her chin, leaving the lower part of her body exposed to the angels and God above. She felt like Eve after the realization that she was naked. At that point, she felt a part of the ground. She wanted the ants to come and consume her greedily as they did a piece of her apple just a few days ago.

The angels had turned their back on her; they stopped weaving the tapestry. God was mourning her, she knew because the air suddenly grew thick and disturbed.

Sara felt wasted and soulless…and she swore that she would never feel pretty again.


	8. Chapter Eight

Where the Grass is Greener 

Chapter Eight

Warrick sat at his table drinking a cup of coffee to calm his very unsettled nerves. What Sara said to him was on instant replay in his mind. Something in him told him that maybe it wasn't really love that they were feeling. Maybe it was because of the amount of sympathy he had for her. Then he thought that it was impossible for the line to be that thin. He loved Sara deeply. There was simply no mistake. He had fallen deeper and deeper in love with her; like Alice going down the rabbit hole.

He sighed and sank down in his chair. He wanted to go see her, but he didn't know how upset she really was at him at this point in time. He mood in the break room had changed swiftly, and by now, he figured that she was seething. Sara's anger was not to be contended with.

She would be coming by to pick up her personal items and clothes that she left for the week. He neatly placed her things into her bag and set it by the door. Hopefully it would help avoid talking to her. 

She was right; they did need to spend some time apart. Neither of them were sure of what they really wanted out of their relationship anymore. They didn't think that they would work out.

A knock at the door shook Warrick of his thoughts and he got up and answered. Sara was standing there, looking forlorn and tired.

"Hey," she said solemnly. 

"Hey," he said. "You're stuff's right here."

Sara walked past him and grabbed her bag. She looked at him sadly, apologetically and she motioned to walk out. Then she stopped dead in her tracks. She turned to him, her eyes aglow with rage.

"I'm very mad at you right now," she said, the tears brimming her eyes. "But you're right. I haven't been taking my meds. I can't keep running away from my problems," she said with an air of pride. "So I'm just going to stay here and talk out my problems instead of going back to my old self and bottling up everything inside."

Warrick looked at her, then he stepped aside to let her back in.

They sat across from each other at the table, drinking coffee. 

"There's something that I need to tell you that I've been keeping to myself for years," she started. 

Warrick was prepared for what ever she was about to tell him.

She sighed before starting. "I was sexually abused when I was nine years old."

Warrick didn't know what to think or say about that.

"My mom sent me into town to go get some groceries, and these two guys in a truck chased me, carried me into the woods, and each one took their turn on me."

Warrick could hear the shame that she felt in her voice. "Sara, why didn't you say anything to the police, to your parents?"

"I don't know," she said despondently. "I felt that it was my fault."

"Sweetie, you were only nine," Warrick explained. "It wasn't your fault."

"Well, here's the method to my madness," she started. She almost chuckled at the irony of her statement. "I had this blue cotton dress that I adored and I only wore dresses when I felt…pretty. I had a serious complex when I was nine, so when I wore a dress, that meant that I felt beautiful, ready to conquer the world.," she paused to wipe a tear. "So I associated my being violated with wearing the dress. I didn't wear dresses again for a long time. At least not until senior prom, and then years later when you took me out."

"Sara, you have to understand that it wasn't your fault," Warrick said firmly. "It wasn't because you wore the dress. Those guys were cowards and perverts."

Sara looked down at her hands. "I never told my parents. And I explained the dirt on my dress away, telling them that I got into a fight with another girl."

Warrick saw her tears falling down her cheeks nonstop, and he got up and hugged her. She cried harder as she held to him tightly.

"What can I do, Sara?" Warrick asked, cupping her wet cheeks in his hands. "Tell me. What can I do?"

Sara pulled away and looked at him. "I don't know. You can't do anything for me. See, this is why we can't be together. There's nothing you can do to help me, Warrick. I'm crazy, and I don't want to burden you with my problems."

"No Sara," he said. "You're not burdening me. I want to help you, I want to be with you. I don't care that you were abused. You're still beautiful and special to me. I love you."

Sara shook her head and pulled away, picking up her bag. "No, we can't be together. I'm sorry."

She left and closed the door. Warrick stood in the middle of his living room, hurt, and confused beyond anything he had ever been confused about before.

***

Sara didn't know what to do anymore. She felt helpless and empty. A feeling that she had forgotten over the last couple of months, and now it was coming back to her, hitting her full on, the pain even worse.

Sara entered her apartment and went into her bathroom. She emptied out the rest of her medication and popped them all like M&Ms. She turned on the water and drank some to wash them down. She looked at herself in the mirror.

__

I'm not going to go through this anymore. It hurts too much, she thought to herself.

Sara went to her bedroom, took off her clothing and got under the covers of her bed. She already felt the affects of the drugs taking over her body. Her eyes fell droopy, and she felt heavy. The truth was, she had been planning to go through with this for weeks. She loved Warrick dearly, but she didn't want to bring him into her realm of madness. She was sure that he would fall in love with someone else, and forget about her.

Her trouble with dealing caught up with her, and she could no longer withstand the pain.

Sara saw the room go black, and she opened her eyes a little, but then she gave into her body. She felt the life draining out of her, and her breaths becoming slower and harder to attain. She almost didn't exist anymore.

***

Warrick watched in horror as doctors and nurses tried to bring Sara back. She was semi-conscious and they had to pump her stomach.

"Sir, you can't be in here right now," a nurse said, gently pushing him out of the curtained area.

The process of pumping stomachs was a barbaric practice, but effective. Warrick had seen one performed before. There was a long tube placed down a patient's throat and it was supposed to make them gag and throw up whatever was in their system that shouldn't have been. 

He could hear Sara heaving and whatever contents were in her stomach, emptied into a container that the tube was attached to. He knew that she was probably fighting and trying to figure out what was going on. 

Warrick stood amongst the chaos of Desert Palm's ER, praying that Sara was going to make it.

It was strange how things had taken place: something told him to go after Sara. He didn't know whether it was because he wanted to tell her how much he loved her, or to make sure that she wasn't going to do anything drastic. Either way, if he had stayed at his apartment any longer, Sara would not have had a chance. The reality made him sick to his own stomach and he escaped to the nearest restroom.

Warrick slashed water on his face when he was finished vomiting. He closed his eyes and tried to will his anger and guilt away. The guilt he felt was eating him alive, like flames upon flesh. He shouldn't have mentioned anything about her meds. Maybe he should have had a little more faith in her. Or, maybe she meant to try and commit suicide again. He didn't know the true answers. All that mattered at the moment was that she was still alive.

He exited the restroom, and then he went to the waiting room.

After about another hour, a brawny, blond haired, fairly young doctor came up to him.

"Hi, I'm Doctor Wilson," he said cordially. "Are you Warrick Brown?"

"Yeah," Warrick answered.

"Miss Sidle is one very lucky woman," he said. "We were able to bring her back and we pumped her stomach to get out all the pills she swallowed. She's stable for now, and she's on her way up to a room. It's a good thing that you brought her in quickly. You can go see her before she goes up. Visiting hours will be over in five minutes on the upper floors, so now might be a good time to tell her good night."

"Thank you doctor," Warrick said, thanking God that Sara was doing well.

He went over to where her bed was at and he took her hand. She was a little awake, but she was out of it. Her eyes looked haunted and tired. Her reddish-brown coiffeur was plastered to her sweaty and pale face.

Their eyes met for a second, then she turned away, exhausted. Warrick leaned down and kissed her forehead and squeezed her hand firmly, letting her know that he would be there for her.

"Sir, we have to take her up now," a nurse said calmly. "I'm afraid we can't allow you to come up with her."

Warrick kissed her hand and then placed it back on the bed as the nurses rolled her away.

***

Sara woke up to a dimly lit room. She opened her eyes a little more, and she recognized where she was. She was at the hospital yet again. She sighed and closed her eyes again.

"Hey there," a familiar woman's voice said from her bedside.

Sara focused her vision in on Catherine, standing over her with a smile on her face.

"Hey," Sara said sleepily. "What happened?"

"Don't worry about that now Sara," Catherine said. "All that matters is that you're okay."

Sara furrowed her eyebrows and ran a hand over her face. She was so disoriented that her head hurt. She desperately wanted to know what happened to her. She could not remember at all, and that scared her.

"Hey Sar," Nick said, standing behind Catherine. "We just thought we'd stop by and keep you company until Warrick gets here."

"Oh," Sara said through her exhaustion. "God, I'm so tired. What happened?"

"Shh," Catherine said. "Just go to sleep right now."

Sara finally gave into her sleepiness and she fell instantly asleep.

Hours later, Sara woke up again, profoundly hungry and achy. The sun was up, and her curtains had been opened. She still felt overwhelmingly tired, but she wanted to know what happened to her. She hoped that she didn't have another break down. That was the last thing that she wanted and needed. Maybe she collapsed? She ran through all of the possibilities and it only made her even more curious as to how she winded back up at the hospital again. It was frustrating and it was causing her to lose her patience. She leaned over and pressed the button for a nurse.

After a few seconds, a nurse emerged.

"Yes?" She said sweetly.

"Nurse, can you tell me why I'm here?" Sara asked. "I don't remember how I got here."

The skinny, tall, middle aged nurse came over to the bed and checked Sara's vitals.

"Well, I must say that you are one very lucky gal," she said. "You took an overdose of your medication two days ago. You almost didn't make it. They had to pump your stomach."

Sara could not believe what she was hearing. "What? No, there must be some kind of mistake."

"No sweetheart," the nurse said. "You tried to kill yourself. You need to get help quickly. You were in here for a break down not even three months ago, and here you are again."

Sara just sighed. "Thank you, you can go now."

The nurse put Sara's vitals back in the slot and walked out of the room.

Sara sighed and turned away from the door. She stared at the blindingly white wall. Sara could not remember what happened days ago. She thought that she would. She tried her best to remember exactly what happened, but nothing was coming back to her. She supposed that it was for the best.

She suddenly felt the presence of another person in the room, and a finger pushing some strands of her hair out of her face. She knew that touch. She sighed and lay still.

"Hey," Warrick said to her. "How are you feeling?"

Sara did not want to talk to him. She had no desire to talk at all. She just wanted to retreat into her own thoughts and find out what was really bothering her, and to try an remember what had transpired two days ago. She knew that it was futile, but she had to try again.

She heard him sigh and he sat down in a chair next to her bed.

"Sara, please look at me," he begged.

"Just go away Warrick," she said quietly. "I just want to be by myself right now."

"I'm not leaving you Sara," he said. "I'll never leave you. I'll never leave you because I love you."

"Oh God Warrick, please don't do this," she wailed in tears. 

"Sara, what are you so afraid of?" He asked. 

"Why do you love me, Warrick? Why?" She asked, turning over to face him. "Why do you want to be with me? Don't you get it? I'm crazy okay? Mental illness isn't exactly something that just goes away because people love each other. It's something that's permanent, and it affects everyone," she exclaimed, sitting up. "I really do love you Warrick but-"

She was interrupted by a chaste kiss. She couldn't help but give in. She did love Warrick. And she was afraid; she was afraid that he would leave her because he couldn't handle her anymore, or that he would get tired of her all together. She didn't wan to pull him into her private hell. She could withstand seeing him happy with someone else than she could with them being together and then splitting up. But she kissed him with more passion and she thought about what she was losing…or, rather, giving up. 

They pulled away and Sara's cheeks were soaked with her tears. She looked into Warrick's gray-blue eyes and saw nothing but hope and determination to let her know how much he loved her.

"Sara, please," he whispered quietly. "Give us some time…some time to work things out and talk," he said, holding her hand. "Please, tell me what you want, what you need…I'll do it for you. Tell me how to help you. I want to be with you. I love you because you're beautiful. I love everything about you."

Sara sniffled. "You really do love me?"

"Yes," he said with a smile. "Sara, just tell me what you want…what you want me to do."

Sara wiped her tears and looked at him. "Well, I'm kind of hungry. We can eat together and talk. That's a start."

Warrick kissed her hand. "Okay, I'll come back with something."

He leaned over and kissed her cheek.

Twenty minutes later, Warrick came back with a salad for Sara, and a sandwich for himself.

"Thank you," she said. "Oh, this is so much better than the slop they feed us here."

"You're welcome," he said.

They ate in silence for a bit then Sara started to talk.

"I'm sorry for putting you through all of this," she said, the shame evident in her face. "This whole thing was my fault. I hate being so damn stubborn sometimes."

"Sara, you don't have to apologize," Warrick said. "I'm the one who should be apologizing. I should have had a little more faith in you. I doubted that you might have actually been getting better."

"No, I wasn't," she admitted. "I did go off of my medication. I hadn't been taking it for two weeks. I'd drop them down the sink. I seriously thought that I was doing fine without the pills. The nurse told me that I tried to kill myself. Is it true? I don't remember anything. Is it true? Did I try and kill myself?"

She looked at Warrick with pleading eyes, wanting to know the truth. He sighed before starting.

"Yes, you did," he said. "If I had been a second later…"

"I would have died," she said, staring out into nothing, the stone cold realization hitting her like a ton of bricks. "Warrick, I don't want to leave you. I don't even remember why I did it. I don't want to ever scare you like that again. I love you too, and I do need help. Thank you for sticking with me this whole time."

"You're welcome," he said. "I promise you that I'll be with you no matter what happens."

Sara smiled.

***

A few days later, Sara was back at her apartment drinking some coffee while pondering the past week. She had put her friends through so much, and she felt horrible for it. The fact that she almost died that night sent off signals in her brain. She could not stray from her meds, for one, and two, she needed serious help. She could not just try and kill herself every time things got rough. She confided in Warrick, so they talked more often. She refused to go see a therapist. She did not want to be analyzed for an hour and then pay a ridiculous amount of money for listening to crap. She could save her money by talking to Warrick. He was a good listener.

The thought of not being on earth with the people that she loved was frightening. She wanted to be among them, and be happy.

Day was fading into light, and Sara smiled at the beauty of the second city that never sleeps.

***

Warrick was truly scared that night. Never had he felt his heart beat so hard. He thought that he would end up on a hospital bed next. Seeing Sara, unconscious, barely breathing, and nearly cold to the touch was the single most scariest moment of his life. 

The thought of losing Sara was unsettling. He couldn't live with her, but he couldn't live without her. He loved her with a passion that he never felt before. Every time he saw her, he would falter at whatever he was doing because she was perfect. Everything about her was perfect; from her coffee brown hair, to her electric blue toe nails, she was perfect. Her body was perfect. She was everything he wanted in a woman. 

They decided that it was best that they just see each other to talk for now. That was what they really needed. She told him that she still had things she wanted to tell him. She wanted to tell him about her child hood, and her parents. She had a plethora of subjects to cover, and he was more than willing to listen.

Warrick entered his bedroom. He noticed Sara's hairbrush sitting on top of his dresser. He'd forgotten to pack it in her bag. It was a plain black hairbrush and a few strands of hair were stuck in it. He could smell her shampoo on the brush. She used Herbal Essences. Go figure. She was feminine in that non feminine kind of way. The way that said, 'even though I wear lipstick and perfume, doesn't mean I can't kick your ass'. Sara was pretty tough. He was sure that she could take him on any day.

Warrick slightly chuckled and set her brush down.

He wished that Sara was sitting in the bed at the moment, reading one of her Harlequins that she seemed to like so much. She told him that she read them when she didn't want to read anything deep and wonderful. He was surprised to find her secret stash at her apartment.

She looked beautiful when she was getting into her reading. Her facial expressions would change with the scenes and he would chuckle at the faces she made at scandal. She devoured books in a day or two. It was amazing how much she read.

There was a little bit of Sara everywhere in his apartment, and he hoped that one day, he wouldn't have to wish so hard.


	9. Chapter Nine

Where the Grass is Greener 

Chapter Nine

Another few months rolled by, and Sara was getting better. She and Warrick didn't rush things and they were getting to know about each other a little better. They decided to hold off on rekindling the intimate part of their relationship until they were absolutely sure that it was time. 

Sara found that she felt lighter, shedding years of personal regret and sadness from her shoulders. She smiled more often, and she actually started sleeping better. She had been dealing with insomnia for years, and now, it seemed to just disappear. Warrick helped her every step of the way and he was so patient with her. Even through the times when they argued, or rather, had a one sided argument in which she had to be right, he was ever patient.

She was thankful for him. Had it not been for Warrick, she would have been worse off. How could she ever have doubted him? He made her happy beyond anything she had ever known, and he was the love of her life. Never had she been so sure of anything in her life before. There were no ifs ands or buts about it. She was helplessly in love with Warrick Brown.

She felt a kiss to her temple and she was drawn from her thoughts. They were making dinner, and Sara was preparing the salad. Warrick decided to try her vegetarian cooking for a night.

"Okay, so what is this stuff called again?" He asked, flipping through her vegetarian cook book.

"Go Lentil into that Good Night Soup," Sara said. "Honey, stop acting like a baby. It's good trust me."

Warrick looked at her with a hint of doubt that he would ever try the soup again and like it.

"What do I get out of this if I do eat it?" He asked, wrapping his arms around her waist. Sara looked at him with her wide chocolate eyes cynically.

"Hmm…I _guess _I'll have to make you a steak dinner," she said with a smile. "Only if you suck it up and eat my soup."

"Deal," he said, then he kissed her lips tenderly. "I'm holding you to that."

"I'll do it someday, I promise," she said and then she kissed him.

Sara was so excited to be cooking a meal for Warrick. It felt homely, and she liked that feeling. She scurried along, setting the table and then she came out of the kitchen bearing two bowls of Go Lentil into that Good Night soup. He had to give credit for the creative title, but what about the taste?

Sara sat down with a smile on her face. She wanted him to take the first taste. It tickled her that Warrick could be such a baby over food. She prayed that he liked it. That would be one thing if they were together and she couldn't cook. That would just feed into the stereotype of burnt dinners the first couple of years in a relationship. 

Reluctantly, he picked up the spoon and he only spooned a little soup and tasted it with a weary tongue. She then tasted hers and she waited for his reaction. He nodded his head.

"Hmm, not bad," he said. "But that's only because you made it." He quickly added, not wanting to show that it wasn't bad in general.

"You're such a charmer," Sara said sarcastically.

They ate for a while then Sara decided to strike up a conversation.

"So Warrick," she started as she forked her salad. "Do you think this is a good time to introduce each other to our families?"

He sat back in his chair in thought. "I don't know," he said. "Maybe we should wait a little longer."

"Why?" Sara whined. "We love each other, I mean, I truly think that we're going in the right direction. We've been together for months sweetie, and I…"

"What?" He asked when she didn't continue. 

"I want to be with you Warrick," she said. Sara wasn't sure if she was sounding sincere or whiny. "And I want us to be a family. I want to be a part of your family, and you a part of mine. Even if we don't work out, we can still have our friendship and families."

"Sara, I'm not that close to my family," he said.

Sara was determined. "This will be a good way to reunite us with our families. To show them that we're more than what they think we are. To show them how much we love each other and that we're willing to stand by each other."

Warrick looked at her. Sara knew she had blown it. He was right; they should wait another few months. They did want to take things slowly, but Sara was growing restless. She wanted to be with Warrick wholly. She wanted to be with him everyday just to tell him how much she loved and adored him.

"Okay," Warrick said, after a few minutes of thought. "But are you sure, Sara? I mean, this could imply a lot of things…"

"Like what?" Sara asked, not liking where the conversation was going.

"That we're getting married, or that we're going to have kids or something serious like that," he said. His words felt like a dagger through her heart.

"You don't think we're going to work, do you?" Sara asked, her voice betraying her fear of his answer.

"Sara, it's not that," he said. "It's just that, for now, this whole thing between us still kind of shaky."

"It's not shaky to me," Sara said, letting a tear fall down her cheek. "I don't know how you feel, but I know that I love you so much and my whole heart is with you. I love you. It's not just some fly-by-night thing for me Warrick!"

Sara got up in a rage and started picking up dishes.

"Sara, I didn't-"

"Just help me clean up okay?" She asked of him calmly.

Sara's nerves were frazzled. She threw dishes into the sink in a silent, but potentially explosive rage. She had given so much of herself into their relationship, and he was still walking on eggshells around her. Did he think that she was going to lose it again? Maybe he was just afraid that she was going to slip away again, and that the next time, he won't be able to save her. Sara knew that was probably the main reason. She had put him through hell, and she couldn't blame him for feeling the way he did. She really had no right to be upset.

Sara turned around and looked at him. He was cleaning off the stove and he turned to put her dish rag back.

She went over to him and hugged him.

"I want us to be together," her aching plea began. "I want us to work out. I want to be one with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and give you children and keep a home for you. I want whatever you want, I'll do whatever you say, I don't care what it is, I just want to be with you! I can't think of anyone else I want to be with! You are my heart and soul. I feel dead without you. I never want to hurt you again, I never will, I promise. I never want to be without you!"

She felt him hug her tightly to the point where it hurt, but she didn't care. She heard him whisper 'I love you' in her ear over and over again. They pulled away and then they kissed each other passionately.

The activities that followed left the kitchen long forgotten. Three months of pent up passion and sensuality was unleashed and the sounds of their renewed courtship resonated throughout her apartment, revealing the loving, pleasurable, and simply delicious nature of their climax. Sara had never felt so far away from her body. Her climax made her feel like she had a narcotic running through her system. She felt like jelly, and her heart was racing. Every part of her body felt the jolt, and she saw little white lights floating around her bedroom.

"OH MY GOD," she panted. "That was AMAZING."

"Really?" Warrick asked, trying to catch his breath.

"Yes," Sara purred. She now not only loved Warrick as a person, she loved him as a lover too. "That was just what I needed. God, that was so incredible."

She leaned over and kissed him.

***

Warrick woke up to the scent of Sara's hair. She was sleeping peacefully, and her hair was disheveled. He leaned over and kissed her cheek. She stirred when he did this and she turned over and looked at him. A slow smile crawled across her face as she pulled him down for another kiss. He couldn't help but oblige her.

"Good morning," he said.

"Good morning," she said back.

They kissed again before getting up. Warrick chuckled at Sara's hair.

"What?" She asked.

"You should see your hair right now," he laughed.

Sara got up and looked in the mirror. "You're not funny," she said as she grabbed her brush and began detangling her hair. "Besides, it's all your fault. You always mess up my hair when we make love."

"No, you're just a heavy sleeper," Warrick said.

He got up and wrapped his arms around her waist. "You look sexy with your hair like that though."

"Oh now you're trying to make me feel better?" She asked with a chuckle.

Warrick kissed her neck and gave her a love bite before going into her bathroom. He squeezed some toothpaste on his finger then rubbed it on his teeth. Sara hated for him to use her toothbrush, he remembered. She walked in and picked up her toothbrush and squeezed some on there. He just looked at her and shook his head as he turned to start the shower.

"You know, this whole bathroom thing isn't working out too well," he said as he waited for the shower to get hot.

"What do you mean?" Sara asked, truly curious. "You don't have a problem with taking showers together, do you?"

"No, it's just that, how do I say this?" He tried searching for all of the right words to say. "Aren't you tired of going back and forth between our apartments?"

"Yeah," she said.

"Then why don't we move in together?" He asked finally instead of beating around the bush.

Sara looked at him in thought for a second, then she gave him an answer.


	10. Chapter Ten

Where The Grass is Greener

Chapter Ten

Sara was more than livid and Warrick could plainly see that. She was sitting on the couch next to him and she had not moved from that spot in twenty minutes. She was staring down his cousin, Eugene and his girlfriend Yvonne. Their appearances made Sara anything but trusting of them, and her brown eyes turned a shade of brown he had never seen before. They had come into town for the reunion so that Sara could meet Warrick's family. When Eugene saw where Warrick was living, he all of a sudden was out of money, and needed a place to stay. Sara did not like where the conversation was going.

They had just moved in together and were settling in nicely. He and Sara redecorated according to her liking, and when they were through, they felt they had made a home together. Now, there was going to be a domestic disturbance.

Warrick tried to break the very tense atmosphere by serving cold drinks for everybody. 

"Her you go babe," he said to Sara, handing her a wine cooler.

She took it without saying a word to him, and she took a sip then set it down. Warrick was in a rock and a hard place. Yes, it was his cousin, but Sara was not having it. She was on to him, and she was about to say so, so he thought it was a good time to start before Sara did.

"Uh," he started. "Eugene, you know, I can take you around the city, help you find a place that's cheap."

"Yeah, but I don't want to run you ragged," he said. "Please, it'll only be until the end of this Fourth of July weekend."

"We can get you into a hotel," Sara said coolly. "There's plenty of cheap ones around here."

Warrick looked down at his feet. He was caught between not wanting to get yelled at and helping his cousin. 

He looked over at Sara. "It's only four days sweetie," he said cautiously.

She glared at him then got up and went into the kitchen. 

"Excuse me," he said to his cousin.

He entered the kitchen and found her angrily chopping some tomatoes. He observed the way she chopped them for a second. She did it the way a chef would at a restaurant. He was amazed, but had to get back to the subject at hand.

"Baby, I don't want to make you mad," he said.

"Then tell him no," she said, not looking up at him. 

"Honey, you know I can't do that," Warrick said, trying to inch closer to her. 

"See, now you just made me mad," she hissed. "No, I'm pissed off. He's manipulating you, you know that. We _just _settled in together and now you want your home wrecker of a cousin to stay with us for a week? No, they can go find a hotel. If they could find their way here fast enough, I'm sure they can find a place to live much faster."

"Sara, you're not being fair," Warrick dared to say.

Sara threw down the knife on the counter, and Warrick was sure that his cousin heard the clang. She gave him her infamous death stare, and he felt his heart speed up.

"I'm not being fair? How am I not being fair?" She asked in a rage. "Coming in, unannounced, before the reunion, claiming to have no money or no place to live is fair to you?"

"C'mon Sara, what's four days?" Warrick asked, trying to stay patient with her.

Sara growled and went over to the stove to check on her noodles. Warrick ran a hand over his face and sighed. He understood where she was coming from, but that still didn't help in his decision. What was he supposed to do?

"Do whatever you want, Warrick," Sara finally said. "I don't care. But let me tell you something right now," she said, turning to him with an angry spirit about her. "If I find anything in this apartment missing or out of place, it's your ass."

Warrick gulped in fear, and made his decision pretty quickly after that.

***

Sara was so nervous about meeting Warrick's family. She felt that she already made a bad impression by turning his cousin away. She told Warrick that it was his decision with a warning. He was clearly afraid of what the consequences would be if his decision to let his cousin stay went south. 

Sara was glad that Warrick told Eugene no. He was just a freeloader, Sara could tell. She knew the type.

Sara checked herself in the mirror again to make sure that she looked okay.

"Sweetie, you look good," Warrick assured her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Do I?" She asked.

"Yes," he said, giving her a kiss on her shoulder.

"Oh God, I'm so nervous," she said. "Will they like me?"

"Sweetheart they will love you," he said. "You're beautiful, and smart, and you make me happy. If they can't see that about you, then, that's on them. I love you, and they will love you, I promise."

Sara smiled and gave him a sweet kiss. "Okay, I think I'm ready now."

Warrick took her hand.

They had booked a reception area at a park near Lake Mead. Sara became more and more nervous as she approached the large gathering. She felt out of place already. Everyone turned their attentions to she and Warrick as they approached the barbecue.

She squeezed his hand as they drew nearer. She knew this was going to be something meaningful for both of them. She knew that this would be the first time in Warrick's life seeing his father face to face. He would see the elusive man who made him aware that he was still alive by sending him checks in the mail. Sara looked up at Warrick, who was already looking at her. He leaned down and kissed her, letting her know that everything was going to be fine.

A rather short woman of about fifty came up to them first.

"Hi, I'm Warrick's aunt," she said, holding out a hand. Sara shook it with a broad smile. "My name is Regina Holt-Brown."

"Hi," was all Sara could manage.

"Aunt Gina, this is my girlfriend Sara Sidle," he said. "Sara, Aunt Gina."

"It's nice to meet you," Sara said, her voice quavering from her nervousness. 

Regina took both of her hands and inspected her.

"You're a tiny little thing aren't you?" She said with a chuckle. "Don't worry Warrick, we'll fatten her up."

Sara blushed. Was she really too thin?

"And what do we have here?" 

"This is my Uncle Philip," Warrick said. "Uncle Phil, this is Sara."

"Well you are a fine thing," he said, inspecting her as Regina did. "You a little too skinny, but I like you anyway girl."

"Isn't she beautiful?" Regina said to her husband.

"Oh yeah," he said. "Although she could stand to gain a few pounds," he said looking over to his wife. "As you can see, I like a woman with a little meat on her bones." He slapped Regina's butt.

"You'll have to excuse my husband," Regina said. "Anyway, how long have you two been together?"

"About seven and a half months," Sara answered. "But we've known each other for three years."

"Well, it's nice to meet you, and I wish you two the best," Regina said. 

"Hey Gina," Philip called. "Come over here."

Regina smiled at them before going over to tend to her husband.

Sara and Warrick found a bench to sit at. Sara met his other aunt, Yolanda Brown, who wasn't as nice as Regina. She gave Sara the cold shoulder and left the table.

"Don't worry about her," Warrick said. "She's always in a bad mood."

"Am I doing okay so far?" Sara asked.

"Sweetie you're doing fine," he said, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Did you find your dad yet?" Sara asked, looking around.

"Nope," he said. "Babe, why don't you go mingle, while I go find out where my dad is?"

"No, honey, I can't…mingle," she said. "Look at me."

"I am looking at you girl," Warrick said. "You're beautiful."

"No, I'm Italian," she quipped. "I feel so different."

"Hey, if my Aunt Gina likes you, the rest of the family should have no problem," Warrick said.

Sara reluctantly got up and began to walk into the crowd of people. She felt really out of place until Regina came to her rescue.

"Walk with me," she said.

They walked around the park.

"So, are you and my nephew…involved?" She asked.

Sara figured she may as well be honest. She nodded shyly. Regina nodded her understanding.

"Does he make you happy?" She asked.

Sara smiled. "Yes, he does."

"I'm glad," she said. "Warrick is a good man. He's been through a lot in his life, and it's good to see a woman that cares about him and that he can make happy. I've never seen my nephew so proud of anything in his life."

"Yeah," Sara reflected. "You're right. There are very few things that he's proud of. I'm glad that he's proud of our relationship. We've been through so much together. Not just as coworkers, but personally as well. I love him so much."

Regina smiled. "Yeah, you look like it," she said with a chuckle. "I remember when I first met Phil. I looked the exact same way you did. Eyes all wide, face glowing."

"How do you keep it alive though?" Sara asked. "I mean yeah there's ups and downs, but how do you keep the love that you felt in the beginning alive?"

"Well, it takes work, patience, and good sex," Regina said. "Lord Jesus. My husband has still got it."

Sara started to laugh Regina was feisty. "Yeah, I don't think Warrick will need any help in that department for a long time."

They walked for a little ways before talking again.

"Do you two plan on getting married any time soon, have kids?" Regina ventured.

Sara could not answer that question. Were they? Marriage seemed so far off into the future, they never really talked about it. It wouldn't be so bad if they did, but when will they? 

"I don't know," she said thoughtfully. "We're just trying to take things slowly right now. We just moved in together so…"

"Well, I'm not rushing you, I just wanted to know," Regina said. "Well if you ever do have kids together, Warrick will be an excellent father."

Sara smiled. "I'll keep that in mind."

They walked back to the reception area and Sara met back up with Warrick.

"Sara, this is my dad, Joseph Brown," he said.

"It's nice to meet you sir," Sara said respectfully. "I'm Sara Sidle."

"It's nice meeting you," he said. "Welcome to the family."

Sara smiled and then she looked at Warrick.

***

Warrick smiled at Sara as he watched her get ready for bed and talk about the family.

"Oh my God," Sara said with a wide smile. "I love your family. They're all so great, and they support our relationship. I'm officially a part of the Brown family."

Warrick pulled her to him and he kissed her. "I'm glad that you liked spending time with them. Believe me, they'll be coming around more often."

"That's a good thing," Sara said. "Isn't that what you wanted?"

Warrick sighed. "Yeah, I guess," he started. "But it didn't bring me any closer to my dad."

Sara put a hand on his cheek. "Baby, I'm sorry," she said. "You know that he loves you right?"

Warrick nodded, despite his urge to doubt that statement. When he saw his father, in the flesh for the first time in his life, he really had nothing to say except 'hello'. Warrick figured that it would be futile to bridge the gap in their relationship now. He was thirty-four years old. It was way too late.

"What are you thinking about?" Sara asked, as she got into bed with him. 

He looked deep into her chestnut eyes.

"Sara, I promise that I will be a good father to our kids, whenever we decide to have them," he said, caressing her cheek. "Even if I can't promise you anything else, this is one that I will keep. I don't ever want to put my children through what my father put me through."

Sara took his hand in hers and she squeezed it. "I love you." 

"I love you too," he said. He leaned over and kissed her. "You're beautiful."

Sara smiled. 

Warrick couldn't keep his eyes off of her. She was beautiful, and she had blossomed over the months into the goddess she really was. He never thought that he would ever be in a relationship so deep and loving with Sara. It seemed impossible. His love for her snuck up on him. The more he understood her, the deeper he fell for her. His every thought was about Sara. They had been through some rough times both individually, and together, and finally they could count on each other.

"Hey," she said sweetly, kissing him on the cheek. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay," he said. 

Sara nodded and she got up out of bed. "Do you want some coffee?"

"Yeah, sure," he said.

He followed her into the kitchen, which was now overrun with her cow collection. He would strangle her if she bought another thing cow for the kitchen.

"Oh honey," she started as she took out a bag. "Look at what I found at Tuesday Morning the other day."

She pulled out a stuffed cow. Warrick thought he would scream.

"No Sara," he said firmly. "No more cows in the kitchen."

"What are you talking about? It's for our room," she said. "And it's MINE. If you touch this cow you're a dead man."

Warrick just shook his head. 

"It was so cute, I just couldn't resist," she said with a smile. "Oh, but I did find a tin can to put in here."

"Dear God," Warrick grumbled to himself.

After a few minutes, he could smell the coffee brewing and Sara was milling around the kitchen. He observed her as she began to reorganize her cows. She looked beautiful in the satin nightgown that she owned. It was a form-fitting pastel green color and it looked good on her. He looked at her body. She had a great body, and a beautiful figure. She bent over to look for something. She wasn't wearing any underwear. That was one thing that he noticed when they started living together: she rarely wore underwear with her outfits. She only owned a few pairs of panties, and the rest were thongs of all different designs and colors. He wasn't complaining, but it just surprised him. She didn't seem like the thong-wearing type.

He went over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He planted a kiss on her neck.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Nothing," he chuckled. "I'm just kissing you."

She turned around and she kissed him passionately. His hands hiked up her gown so that he could feel the skin of her thighs. She moaned and let the straps fall down her shoulders. Warrick picked her up and carried her to their bedroom.

He laid her down on the bed gently and continued to kiss her. He ran his hands through her hair and she wrapped her legs around him. He moved to her neck and began kissing it. She craned her neck for him so that he could have better access. He kissed her all the way back up to her lips and they kissed deeply again before pulling away and looking at each other.

"Wow," she said breathlessly. "You are just full of surprises."

Warrick caressed her thighs and kissed her again before getting up. Sara looked slightly taken aback at his suddenly leaving her, but he came back as quick as he left, holding something behind his back. He knew that it was as good a time as any to take their relationship one step further.

Sara was looking at him with concern, and he decided that it was time to start.

"Sara Elena Sidle," he started.

Sara's brown eyes grew wide. "Yes?"

"Will you marry me?"

She was overjoyed. "Yes!" Before he knew it, she had pounced him and kissed him. "Yes! Yes, I would love to marry you. Oh my God!"

Warrick smiled and he opened a ring box, revealing a diamond ring inside. He took it out and put it on her finger. Sara was so happy she could hardly contain herself. She kissed him passionately.

"I love you," she said in between kisses. "I love you, I love you."

Warrick was glad that he finally got the courage to ask her. He had been trying to decide the right time to ask for weeks, waiting for the perfect time. He was going to surprise her, but he couldn't wait. 

"I can't wait to be your wife," she said quietly. "You are already the perfect husband."

Warrick kissed her again and she responded with a passionate, sensual kiss of her own. Never had he felt so sure of anything in his life.

***

They walked into work hand in hand and they told the rest of their coworkers the news. Sara showed off her engagement ring to Catherine, who was impressed. Sara couldn't stop smiling, she was so happy. Until the very moment, the last seven months had been a blur…almost as if it never happened. They were things that she preferred to forget, but she realized that remember the past helps shape a better future, and it truly was a better future for Sara.

She never thought the day would come when she uttered the words: 'I'm getting married'. She never thought that it would happen. And she was pretty sure that her parents didn't think so either. They thought that she was going to be a lonely, stubborn childless woman…and for a while, Sara thought the same thing, until the morning she asked Warrick to have coffee with her. That was the morning everything changed for her, for the better. She realized that she owed her life to Warrick. She would be much more than just a devoted wife to him. She would be his lover, confidant, friend, coworker, and eventually, the mother of his children. The thought made her heart skip a beat.

"Sara, are you with us?" Catherine asked, her voice bringing Sara from her euphoric state. "Uh, yeah, I'm okay, just thinking."

"You should be," Catherine said. "We've got a lot of planning to do."

"I know, but I only got engaged last night," Sara said with a smile. "Cool the brakes Cath."

Catherine bounced with excitement. "Oh my God, Sara's getting married. This is going to be so much fun!"


	11. Chapter Eleven

Where the Grass is Greener

Chapter Eleven

Warrick was startled out of his sleep by Sara's coughing. She sat up and grabbed for her water, but the cup was empty. She groaned as she covered her mouth.

"Sweetie are you okay?" He asked as he sat up and turned on the lamp.

She nodded as she was coughing, and he just gave her a look. The woman would rather die than admit that she wasn't okay. That was one thing that annoyed him about her: she could never admit when there was something wrong with her. She coughing her lungs out, and she still proclaimed to be fine.

He rubbed her back as she tried catching her breath from all the coughing. 

"Oh," she groaned miserably. "How much time do we have to sleep before work?"

"That's not going to make any difference to you because you're staying home," he said firmly.

"Warrick, I promise you there's nothing wrong with me," she said, getting up to go get more water.

Warrick knew better. "No," he said, pushing her gently back into the bed. "I'll go get you some more water, you need to rest. You have the flu."

"Warrick don't be so fatalistic," she said as she coughed again.

Warrick did not want to argue with her, so to quiet her, he pulled the covers over her. He felt her forehead.

"You're burning up," he said. "Don't move a muscle."

She just glared at him. He wasn't going to give into her so easily this time. Sometimes it was hard to mean what he said around her when she started giving him her looks, but tonight was a different story. She was sick, and he needed and wanted to take care of her. He wanted to show her that he would be devoted to her no matter what happened.

He went into the cow infested kitchen. He never realized how much he hated those cows until he actually got into the kitchen. He hated the cows with a passion. Another thing that he found odd about her collection was the fact that she was a vegetarian. She collected sources of an Angus burger, but would refuse to eat one. Warrick shook his head.

He grabbed a cup and filled it with cold water. He made sure to grab the thermometer from the medicine cabinet as well.

Sara was half asleep, the covers kicked off of her. Probably because her fever was breaking.

"Sara, wake up for a second," he said softly. "Let me take your temperature."

Sara was anything but happy. "Warrick, you don't have to do this, I'm fine," she said. "In a few hours' time, I'll be okay for work."

"Babe, let me take care of you," he said. "You're sick. Open."

She scowled at him stubbornly.

"Sara, stop it," he said. "It's not going to work this time."

She slowly opened her mouth and Warrick put the thermometer in. She narrowed her eyes in little slits as she held the thermometer in place. Warrick wasn't fazed. He just got up and went into the bathroom and picked up a washcloth. He soaked it with some cool water then he reentered their bedroom. Sara was leaning against the headboard, her arms crossed in frustration. For a grown, thirty-three year old woman, Sara could act like a four year old having a tantrum. She had major conniptions over everything, and it drove him insane, but he loved her anyway; keeping in mind that she was that way before they got engaged.

After about five minutes, he took the thermometer out of her mouth and read it. 

"Your temp is one-hundred and two point five," he said. "You are definitely not going anywhere."

Sara groaned and fell back against the pillows.

"You know how much of a brat you can be sometimes?" He chuckled.

"What about my parents?" She asked. "I can't be sick like this all week."

"I'll pick them up at the airport tomorrow morning, and if you're not better over the next few days, I'll take your parents around," he offered. "They'll understand if you're sick."

"Why do I have to be sick on the most crucial week of my life?" She groaned.

Warrick leaned down and kissed her on her forehead. "Get some rest."

***

When Warrick got home earlier that morning, Sara was not doing well. Her highest temp was one-hundred and three, and she had chills. He pressed a warm washcloth to her head. She had bad strain of the flu.

"Don't let my parents stay here," she said. "They might catch what I have."

Warrick dabbed at her forehead with a washcloth. She grabbed a tissue and blew her nose. 

"Well, according to what I heard," he started, moving the cloth down her arms. "It started with Lindsay, who gave it to Cath, who gave it to Nick, now you. She told me that it's been down played to the flu. Lindsay had the stomach flu."

Sara nodded at this information.

"So," she started. "Was everyone shocked that I actually stayed home?"

Warrick shrugged as he wiped her sweaty face. "More or less."

She looked at him. "They don't want me back, do they?"

Warrick sighed. He really did not want to discuss the issue with her at the moment. It wasn't a fact of wanting her back or not, it was just out of concern for her future health. Warrick explained to Grissom that her break down wasn't job-related. He had a hard time believing that, but he did finally accept the possibility that may have been true. Sara had been handling herself pretty well at work…after hours was a different story.

"Sara, they're only concerned for your health, that's all," he said. 

"Can't they see that I'm okay?" Sara said. "I have you now. I'm with you. You've made my life so much better, you know that? You give me a reason to want to face the day, you give me something to look forward to."

Warrick nodded as he ran the towel over her legs. She was soaked in sweat and she began to shiver. Warrick felt her forehead. She was blazing, but she had chills. He lay her down gently on the bed then he covered her.

"Get some rest sweetie," he said. "Call me if you feel any worse okay?"

Sara nodded weakly.

Warrick's heart was consumed by worry as he drove to the airport. He had never seen Sara that sick before. He hoped that it wasn't anything more serious than the flu. The flu usually lasted for about a week and then it went away. Sara had full blown flu: coughing, stuffy nose, high fever, chills, body aches, sore throat, headaches. The symptoms got worse over the weeks and neither of them really noticed until it was as bad as it was now. Sara hated to be sick. 

Warrick was also worried about what her parents would think of him. He was worried that they would disapprove of their relationship. She had not seen her parents in years, and it was no doubt going to be an emotional roller coaster. Between Sara's bitterness towards them, and their grudge, Warrick was right in the middle. He realized he'd have to play peacemaker between them. With Sara being sick and confined to their apartment, he would have to take her parents around the city. He wasn't going to let Sara go anywhere even if she scowled at him.

He pulled into the parking lot and paid the teller for an hour.

The terminal was busy, and Warrick was on the look out for Mr. and Mrs. Sidle. He took out the picture of Sara's parents and looked at it closely, remembering their faces. His cell phone rang, and he answered it.

"Hey girl," he said, still looking around for the Sidles. "How are you feeling?"

"Like crap," she groaned. "Are you at the airport?"

"Yeah, I think I see your parents," he said as he walked a bit, inspecting the picture one more time. "Hey, I'll call you back when we're on our way back home okay? I love you."

"I love you too," she said, then she sneezed. "Sorry. Love you, bye."

"Bye sweetie," he said, then he hung up.

Victor and Diana Sidle approached him with frazzled looks on their faces.

"Are you Warrick Brown?" Victor asked in a light Italian accent.

"Yes," Warrick answered, offering a handshake. "It's nice to meet you Mr. Sidle. And you too, Mrs. Sidle."

Victor shook his hand firmly, and then he took his wife's hand and led her past him, not saying anything more to Warrick. Already, this was not going well. Warrick followed them to baggage claim and they quickly picked up their bags and they were ready to go.

On the way back to the apartment, Warrick called Sara again.

"Hey Sara," he said, avoiding calling her a pet name in fear of her parents' reaction. "We're on our way."

"Okay," she said. "I tried making something of a dinner, but I was too tired."

"Sara, you need to relax," he said firmly. "Are you in bed right now?"

"Umm…yeah," she said.

"Liar," he chuckled. "Go to bed."

"Okay, mwah," she said over the phone. "Love you."

"I love you too," he said. "Bye."

"Bye," she said, then he hung up.

There was an uneasy silence in the car. Warrick concentrated on driving, avoiding Victor Sidle's gaze. Mrs. Sidle stayed emotionless, to follow through on her husband's demand. Victor Sidle was a little shorter than Warrick. He seemed to always walk with a scowl on his face. He now knew where Sara got her scowl from. He was bald, quite odd for an Italian, and his skin was tanned. Mrs. Sidle was beautiful for a woman her age. She had her hair fixed in a tight bun, and she gave her daughter her looks and her auburn hair.

When they arrived at his apartment, he opened the door for Mrs. Sidle, and she smiled her gratefulness. 

Victor took her hand and led her inside, leaving Warrick to carry in their bags. Frank, the doorman, helped him. 

"Thanks Frank," Warrick said. "I owe you one."

"How 'bout we shoot some hoops on Saturday and we'll call it even?" He offered.

"Deal," Warrick said. "I was running out of ten dollar bills."

***

Sara tried to make herself look presentable for her parents. She was in a deplorable condition right now, but she did the best with her appearance. She put on a pair of jeans and one of Warrick's tee shirts. It would figure that she grabbed the one she really hated. 

She made her hair look somewhat presentable, and she put on a little make up. She had to show her parents what nearly nine years of school yielded. Her father didn't think it was worth it sending his daughter off to college. He figured that she was smart enough. He wanted her to get married and have children, then think about her life. Well, in a way she was doing that…in reverse order. She had gotten to where she wanted to be in her life, now it was time to settle down with the love of her life.

She heard Warrick come through the door, and that was her cue to get up out of bed and turn off the television in their bedroom. She walked down the hallway and met Warrick at the doorway, putting her parents' luggage down. 

"Hey," she said, wiping her nose with a tissue that she had stuffed in her pocket.

"Hey babe," he said. "Are you feeling any better?"

"A little," she said, helping him move her parents' luggage into the guest bedroom. "I think by either tomorrow or Wednesday, I should feel better."

'That's good," Warrick said. 

She noticed that he was a bit nervous. "So," she whispered as they changed the sheets to the guest bed. One night they decided to christen the whole apartment. "What'd they say?"

"Nothing yet," he said. "I don't think your parents like me very much."

"We have to give them some time," she said. "My dad especially. He's still upset at me for choosing to go to college over getting married and punching out kids at the age of seventeen."

Warrick chuckled.

When they finished preparing her parents for their stay, they went out into the living room hand in hand.

"Mom, dad," she said with a bright smile, despite her tiredness. "This is Warrick Brown, my fiancé."

Her father sat there, emotionless, making Sara's smile fade, and she began to cry. Diana looked like she wanted to say something, but she was following her husband's example. Sara knew that Warrick was upset that they had made her cry, but she squeezed his hand, letting him know to calm down. Sara was having one of her crying fits again, and she was embarrassed by them.

She wiped her tears and walked to the bedroom and closed the door.

Why were her parents being so cruel? Why couldn't they just be happy for her? They didn't even show up for her graduation from Harvard. She was alone, and she had no support system. Now she was about to get married, and her parents wouldn't even give so much as a smile her way, showing that they at least cared. They didn't think she was serious, that's why. 

She went over to her bedside table and picked up a catalogue for bridal gowns. She had a few picked out, and she planned on going to the shop later on with Catherine and some of Warrick's female cousins. She picked it up and went out to the living room.

"Here," she said, giving it to them. "I'm serious about this. Warrick and I are getting married. _Very _soon. I don't care whether you show up or not. You don't even have to pay for it, but just say something! Or at least look like you're happy for me!"

With that, Sara turned on her heel and went back to the bedroom. She collapsed on the bed crying hysterically.

***

Warrick had found a new breed of fear, and his situation with her parents was a bad one. He knew that Sara was trying to get over the flu, and would not want to spend any time with her parents, so he was stuck with them until Sunday afternoon.

Sara was having another one of her crying spells, which had been coming more often lately. She would just burst into tears and she usually took a whole day to get over her spell.

"Uh, Sara's trying to get over the flu," Warrick explained. "Would you like something to drink?"

"No thank you," Victor said. "Sit down."

Warrick took the chair across from them. He was prepared to answer every question they had for him honestly.

"Do you love my daughter?" Victor asked.

"Yes, I do," he answered. "Very much."

"And you two are getting married?" Victor pushed.

"Yes sir," Warrick said.

"In the church?" 

"Yes," Warrick answered. "Sir, I don't really know what this had to do with reconciling with you daughter. She's hurt, and she wanted to make things right before we walk down the aisle."

"Well, she hasn't even asked my approval…"

Warrick interrupted him. "Quite frankly sir," he started. "She's a grown woman. She's not seeking approval. And no offense sir, we're still getting married regardless. Whether you approve or not. All she wants is to be closer to you. She has spent the last three weeks planning this trip just for you so that she could spend time with you and be your daughter again."

Victor looked away. "I am not ashamed of my daughter," he said. "I just wanted her to make a life for herself."

"She has, sir," Warrick said. "If you could see her at her job…she's so dedicated, and passionate about it. She has made both a life and career for herself. She's a beautiful, intelligent woman and if you can't see that by now…"

Later on that night, Warrick could hear Sara's parent's going at it in the guest bedroom. Or, rather, her mother going at it.

"What did I tell you Victor? She's a free spirit. You kept her like a caged bird when she was a child. Now that she's free and grown, you can't accept that she's grown up! And you're still trying to run her life! She wants to marry that nice young man and you're not doing anything to stop that wedding. In fact, you're going to pay for it."

"What? Diana, you are being unreasonable!" Victor shouted.

"Oh, so now I'm unreasonable huh?" Diana drawled. "What is wrong with Sara marrying Warrick Brown?"

"Diana," Victor pleaded. "There's nothing wrong with it, it's just that he doesn't look like her type."

"You didn't look like my type, but I still married you!" Diana said sarcastically. "She's serious about this Victor! She loves him. She even has gowns picked out. You are going to march right up to her tomorrow and tell her that we are going to pay for this whole wedding, and I better not hear one complaint from you!"

"Yes my dear," Victor said warily.


	12. Chapter Twelve

Where the Grass is Greener

Chapter Twelve

Sara was so excited to hear that her father was offering to pay for the whole wedding.

"Thank you Daddy!" She said as she hugged him.

She had reconciled with her parents, and Warrick was glad, but he still had a rough week with them nonetheless. He and Victor were at odds, and they really didn't like each other. They at least had a mutual respect for each other. They both agreed that as long as Sara was happy, there was no need for them to be rude and disrespectful around each other because they knew that between Sara and her mother, they would both have a conniption over it. No need for the unnecessary.

When the Sidles left for San Francisco Sunday afternoon, Warrick had never felt more relieved.

Sara had gotten over the flu and she pounced him as soon as they crossed the threshold. They had not had any sexual contact of any kind for close to a month. It was a relief on many different levels for Warrick.

***

Sara sat on the floor among a pile of magazines and color pallets, eating a bowl of macaroni and cheese. Sara had to go shopping for that because she had a taste for it, and couldn't find any in the pantry.

She was having serious trouble trying to decide what kind of colors she wanted for the bridesmaids. It was down to pink and lavender. She would spend hours at home after work and a shower trying to pick out the right colors. Warrick was no help in that department, but he was looking at different places for the reception.

"Warrick, do you think that we should just go ahead with the pink?"

"Whatever you decide babe," he said elusively.

Sara rolled her eyes. "Oh, how helpful."

She shook her head and kept looking through the catalogues. She had already decided on a bouquet. She wanted lilies and baby's breath. That was the perfect combination. She wasn't sure on a dress yet. She had looked at several different catalogues and she could not decide on one. There were many dresses that she liked, but they were expensive. She didn't want to look like she was taking advantage of her father. She and Warrick told him that they would pitch in on the extras.

"Oh, honey look at this one," she said, holding up the catalogue. "Isn't that one beautiful?"

"I'm not really supposed to be looking at dresses with you," he said with a smile. "It's bad luck."

"After what we've been through together over the past year, I'm up for a challenge," Sara joked. "Now look."

He came over to her and sat down with her. 

"That one is nice, but it's not you," he said. "Too many bows."

Sara tilted her head as she ate another forkful of macaroni. "Yeah," she said, forking some more. "It is too fluffy and girly."

She flipped through more magazines before finally getting tired. She laid down on the floor, and she took a nap. She had been extremely tired lately, and she was sleeping more than usual. She thought that she was getting sick all over again. Or it could have been stress from planning the wedding. While it didn't really feel like stress, it really was. Her excitement turned to frustration quickly while trying to decide on what she wanted. Warrick had been taking it all in stride, agreeing with her every word. 

She felt him pick her up and carry her to the bedroom and put her in the bed. She loved him deeply. There wasn't a man out there as sweet and loving as Warrick was. Soon, she would be _Mrs. Brown_. Or maybe it was going to be Sidle-Brown. For some reason, her father insisted that Sara keep her maiden name out of respect for their family line. It did have an ice ring to it; Sara Sidle-Brown. She smiled.

Never had she put so much stock into something in her entire life. The experience of planning a wedding…_her_ wedding…was a great one, and it was something that she wished to share with her daughter one day, if she had one.

Later at work, Sara was flipping through another bridal magazine. It had been an incredibly slow night, as if crime had taken a night off. She and Catherine went over color scheme possibilities, and Warrick was sent to the nearest grocery store to retrieve some ice cream for Sara.

"God, I've been so tired lately," Sara said, yawning. "Planning this wedding is so great, but it's exhausting. And, I think that I've gained some weight. I can't let myself go just weeks before my wedding. I do have to get into my dress."

"Hmm…" Catherine started. "You have been getting a little soggy in the midsection, but you still look great. That's good though…Warrick makes sure that you stay fed."

"I know," Sara said with a smile. "He is so good to me."

Sara continued looking through catalogues and Catherine started matching colors.

Warrick came in a few minutes later, bearing Sara's ice cream.

"Thank you honey," she said. "Warrick, what do you think about the color scheme?"

"I thought we decided on pink and beige?" He asked.

"Yeah, but I might change my mind," she said, spooning some ice cream.

Warrick shook his head and sighed.

"What?" Sara asked.

"Nothing," he said. 

"You sound upset," she said.

"I'm not upset," he said patiently. "It's just that you can't make up your mind. I thought we decided together already."

Sara was clearly getting upset. "Well, is it okay that I change my mind?"

"Yeah, but I mean, this is the third time in two weeks changing your mind," he said.

"So," she said, beginning to cry. "I change my mind, so what? I just want this wedding to be exactly as we planned it."

"Babe, don't cry," he said, coming over to her. "Look, I'm sorry, okay?"

"I can't help it!" She wailed. She got up and went to the ladies' restroom.

She had to pull herself together. She couldn't break down now. That would not be a pretty sight. Especially weeks before her wedding. They had been planning all the big things for two months, and now they couldn't decide on the right color scheme for the reception. Warrick was doing all that he could to keep her happy. The planning of her wedding would be her undoing unless she kept her self together.

***

Warrick had a lot of tension.

When they got home, he decided to just take a bath instead of a shower. 

The hot water eased the tension out of his muscles and relaxed him. 

Sara was in the kitchen preparing dinner for them. She was an excellent cook, despite all the rumors and misconceptions he heard at work about her cooking.

He heard her footsteps approaching the tub.

"Hi," she said with a smirk.

"Hey," he said.

Sara started to undress. He noticed that she had been gaining some weight over the past month or so. He didn't mind, though. She still looked sexy. He knew how obsessed she was about her weight and he was thinking that she had to be freaking out over it, but she wasn't lately. She would later, he knew, when she went in for the fitting.

When she was completely nude, she got in the tub with him and she lay down on top of him, letting the warm water envelope her with a contented grin on her face. Warrick couldn't help but wrap his arms around her rather small frame. She smiled and giggled in relaxation as she nuzzled his chest. He grinned. She looked cute when she cuddled.

"I love you," she said, her voice euphoric.

"I love you too," Warrick said, running his fingers through her hair.

Sara looked up at him. Her wide set brown eyes always caught his attention. Even when they first met, they caught his attention; only during that time, her eyes were full of fire and a determination that he'd never seen before in anyone. Now, her eyes were full of love and anticipation.

"I'm sorry I've been acting so weird," she said. "I just want our wedding to be perfect. I want our wedding to go exactly as we planned it, and be something that we can cherish and remember for the rest of our lives."

"Sara, it will be," Warrick assured her. "And if it doesn't, then, so what? At least we'll be with each other in the end right?"

Sara smiled. "Yeah."

She laid back down and sighed happily. Warrick continued to hold her. He would never let go. Not ever.

Later on, they sat at the table eating dinner. Sara had cooked Warrick a steak dinner, as she promised him. While it was good, and he was thankful for it, there was still something very wrong with the whole dinner…he knew he was staring at her strangely, and she looked back at him, reflecting the same look.

"What?" She asked in frustration. "Do you not like it? Tell me honestly…"

"Um, no," he said quickly before she got upset. "No, it's great babe," Warrick paused for a moment. "But, um, I thought you were a vegetarian."

Before him was a scene he'd never thought he'd see in his lifetime; Sara Elena Sidle was in fact consuming a steak herself. She was not eating it wearily, she was eating it hungrily, as though it was her last meal before death. She was eating without a care in the world, and Warrick was shocked.

"Well, I just thought I'd try something different," she said nonchalantly. "You know how many years it's been since my last steak?"

"About three years," Warrick said.

"Exactly," she said, cutting a piece of steak. "Besides, this is all that I made for dinner, and I don't feel like cooking anything else, so…"

Warrick nodded his head in understanding. He understood the situation, but he still could not understand, nor figure out his fiancee. Sara was certainly a piece of work. She was like a rubix cube: complex, nearly impossible to solve, and there was so much to her that it would probably take a lifetime to figure out. That was what he loved about Sara. Her aura of mystery was what drew him closer to her in the first place. Looking back almost a year ago, it was amazing what meeting her for coffee did. That one meeting changed their entire relationship, and now, their entire lives. That meeting only set off a chain reaction of events that he would much rather forget, but were still fresh in his mind.

So many emotions had passed between them: contempt, guilt, compassion, frustration, fear, and finally love. Their relationship forged of fire as they made a long journey together through their lives; proving to themselves that they were secretly striving for something more, something fulfilling and that would last a lifetime. 

"What are you thinking about?" Sara asked as she drank down a glass of water.

"I was just thinking how far our relationship has come," he answered with a grin. "Who would've thought?"

Sara giggled. "I know. All those months ago, I never pictured myself here with you."

"Same here," Warrick mused. "It's strange how things work out huh?"

"Yeah," she sighed. "I'm glad that we gave our relationship a chance."

Warrick nodded and took in her beauty.

Warrick was still up, working on the computer. The office they made had two desks, each reflecting their personality. On Sara's side, she had a collection of frogs placed strategically, yet neatly, around her desk. Her side was in perfect order, and she had a mini file cabinet with records and old papers and things neatly tucked in the confines. Her computer sat neatly on the desk, the processor next to it, and her printer on the other side of the monitor. Her laptop was in a holder placed neatly at the side of her desk, ready for when she was on the go. She had a small collection of her own reference books lined across the top of her desk, sorted by year or letter.

Sometimes, Warrick could not stand how neat she was. 

His side of the office was fairly decent; a little cluttered here and there, but decent. As long as he was able to find what he was looking for easily, he didn't care to be organized too much. Sara had meticulously cleaned his work station a few times and he appreciated it. But eventually, it got back to it's half cluttered, half clean state.

Warrick had been researching something or another, when he suddenly heard retching from their bedroom. He quickly came to her aid.

"Sara, what's the matter?" He asked.

"I don't know, I just started feeling dizzy and nauseous, and I threw up," she said, trying to keep the next wave down, but she was unsuccessful. She bent back over and she rejected the contents of her stomach in noisy mouthfuls.

Warrick went into the kitchen and got her a glass of ice cold water. He quickly brought it back to her and she took it gratefully. She took a few sips then she bent over and threw up again. Her face was a color that he had not seen before in his life, and her eyes were red and watery from the force of her vomiting.

"Can you get me a washcloth?" She asked as she wiped her mouth.

"Yeah," he said. 

Warrick retrieved one of their washcloths and wet it with cold water. He placed it on her neck and cheeks as she heaved again.

"I think you started going back to your normal routine a little too quickly after you got the flu," Warrick said.

"No," Sara said. "I know it's the meat. I haven't eaten meat in a long time. It's probably what's upsetting my stomach."

"Yeah," he said as he held the cloth to her neck.

By morning, they were both exhausted. Sara had been getting up and throwing up all night. Finally Warrick placed a small trash can on her side of the bed so that she wouldn't have to keep getting up. She would go to sleep for about twenty minutes, saying that her nausea was gone, then she would bolt upright again, grab the trash can and vomit again. 

In the morning, she had fallen asleep and she stopped throwing up. Warrick took the plastic bag and dumped it and put a new one in the can. She must have heard him because she woke up. He pushed a strand of hair from her face. He leaned down and kissed her cheek and put a hand to her belly. 

"I guess that was a little more than your stomach could take," he chuckled.

"Yeah," she agreed.

"Go back to sleep," he whispered.

***

Sara was sitting in a chair in Terrace Beauty Bridal shop. Catherine and Regina were her maidens of honor, so their dresses had to be distinct. Sara's bridesmaids were Jaqui, from work, Teresa, Tanya and Elise, Warrick's cousins, and Francesca, Bernadine, and Olivia, some of Sara's cousins.

For now, they were only doing the maidens of honor.

Sara inspected the dress carefully. It was lavender, with a plunging neckline and v-shaped back to it.

"You like it?" The seamstress asked her.

Sara stepped back a little more. "It's beautiful." 

Catherine and Regina smiled and they stepped down from the platform.

"Okay," Sara said. "So the dresses will be ready at noon on the day of the wedding right?"

"Even sooner than that Ms. Sidle," the seamstress assured her. "Now, why don't we get you into that wedding dress?"

It was true; Sara did have a bit of a time getting into her wedding dress. She ripped a bit of the fabric at the zipper.

"I'm so sorry," Sara cried. "How much will it cost to fix it?"

"No charge," the seamstress said. "But last fitting you were able to get into it," she said while diligently marking where to mend. "I can alter it for you. Don't worry, it's mainly on your butt."

Sara was so distraught she didn't know what to do with herself. Catherine tried to calm her.

"Sweetie it's okay," she said, putting her hands on her cheeks. "She'll alter it for you."

"No it's not okay," Sara cried as she stepped down from the platform. "Warrick is going to take one look at me in this dress and he's going to turn his back on me."

"No," Regina said. "You look beautiful."

"No I don't," Sara wailed. 

"Yes you do," Catherine insisted.

Sara continued to cry.

Later, the three women walked through the mall together.

"All I'm saying is that it annoys me when he looks at me in that indecisive way," Sara said as she ate a hotdog. "I ask him something and it seems like his mind goes blank. I mean," she started again while biting into her hotdog. "What is it?"

Sara looked on either side of her. Catherine on her left and Regina to her right, both staring at her as if they were analyzing her.

"What?" Sara asked, worried.

Catherine and Regina stepped in front of her. They looked deep into her eyes and they inspected her form.

"You two are freaking me out," she said.

"Sara, you're pregnant," Catherine said, putting her hands on her hips authoritatively and shaking her head.

"Yep," Regina agreed. "I can see it in your eyes."

"What? No," Sara chuckled. 

"C'mon Sara," Catherine said. "You're eating a hotdog for God's sake."

"Well, that's because I started eating meat again," Sara explained.

"It's more than that," Regina said with a smile. "Your eyes are glazed, and you should have seen yourself crying the way you did. And, how else do you explain the weight you gained?"

"As not exercising," Sara said indignantly. 

"Sara, trust us," Catherine said. "From two mothers. You're pregnant."

Sara looked between them in shock as the realization hit her.

"Oh my God," she sighed as she began to faint.

***

Catherine quickly rushed through the drug store and bought Sara a pregnancy test.

"Now, go in there, take a deep breath, and take the test," Catherine instructed.

Sara went into the bathroom. She carefully read the instructions in the mini pamphlet. 

"Okay, two lines equals pregnant, one line equals not pregnant," she read quietly to herself. "Okay, to take test, open end opposite indicators…what? Oh, then urinate on tip. Wait three minutes for results. Okay."

Sara had never found herself in this kind of situation before, nor had she ever been unprepared and inexperienced in her life. If she was pregnant, that was a bad thing. Warrick would probably think she was trying to seal the deal before they got married. But, she probably wasn't pregnant. It was all a big mistake. It had to be.

When Sara finished, she wiped the stick off, and waited. Flushing the toilet and washing her hands would take her less than a minute. 

"Okay, if results are not clear or inaccurate, it is best to go see your physician/OB/GYN, got it," she whispered to herself. She knew that Catherine and Regina were on pins and needles outside the bathroom.

Sara sat on the toilet seat and waited. It was a long three minutes, and hers and Warrick's future hanged in the balance. If she was pregnant, that would be a problem. What was she going to tell Warrick? How was she going to tell him? She had no idea if he would be happy or not. She wasn't good with kids. On the flipside, she may not be pregnant, and she would have nothing to worry about. She prayed that she wasn't pregnant.

After the most agonizing three minutes of her life passed by, she picked up the test and looked at the results.

Two lines equals pregnant. 

Sara felt the tears welling up as she stared at the positive pregnancy test. The lines were bright pink, indicating the very strong presence of the pregnancy hormone.

She exited the bathroom crying hysterically. "Warrick is going to be a daddy!"

"Aw," Regina and Catherine said in unison as they hugged her.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Where the Grass is Greener

Chapter Thirteen

Warrick was holding Sara's hand as the doctor put the indicator to her abdomen for the first ultrasound. 

"Okay," the doctor said. "Everything looks good. Your baby's got a healthy heartbeat, and mom's doing fine as well. Would you like a picture of the baby?"

"Yeah," Sara said with the widest grin.

Warrick leaned down and gave her a kiss. Hearing his baby's heartbeat for the first time made him aware that Sara was carrying a life within her. That it was real. It wasn't just a dream that he would instantly wake up from. In eight and a half months' time, he would be a father. The thought made him both anxious and happy. He didn't know how he would fare with an infant. He could deal with kids, but babies were another issue.

"Hey," Sara's voice brought him back to the present. "What are you thinking about?"

"How much I love you," he said. 

He stepped aside and let the doctor clean off Sara's belly before leaving the room. Sara pulled her now too tight shirt over her belly and fixed her pants. Warrick noticed that it was about time to buy her bigger clothes. 

The day Sara told him tearfully that she was pregnant, he was struck dumb. She got upset when he didn't say anything for a long time, and all he could do was sweep her off her feet and tell her how thrilled he was about the baby. She had been very emotional that day, and she kept to herself. According to Catherine and his aunt, Sara had torn the fabric in her wedding dress and she cried and cried. It was not like Sara to be overemotional and no one knew that better than Catherine. 

"God," Sara hissed in frustration. "It's a wonder I didn't figure I was pregnant myself," she said. Warrick could hear the venom in her voice. "I can hardly fit into these," she said, struggling with pulling her jeans together enough to button them. Finally, she gave up, beginning to cry.

"Sara, please don't cry," he said, hugging her. "We'll go get you some bigger clothes."

She suddenly pulled away and glared at him. "I don't want bigger clothes," she growled. "I want to get into my jeans long enough to go home in."

Warrick raised his hands in surrender so as to show that he wasn't saying anymore on the matter.

She finally just pushed them down on her waist and then she buttoned them. He could see the swell in her belly clearly. It wasn't a big one, but it was growing. Sara had been concerned over the fact that she had gained so much weight and had gotten the swell so early. The doctor explained that it was mostly fluid.

On the way home, Warrick had to make a pit stop for Sara because she wanted Chicken MacNuggets and a MacFlurry. Her request was reasonable enough, but when she got what she wanted, she dipped the nuggets into the shake. She smiled in delight. Warrick thought it was the most disgusting thing he had ever seen. As long as she was happy…

He had no idea what to expect with Sara's pregnancy. Cravings was one thing he knew about. She was currently consuming one. But everything else, he was unsure of. 

Sara was tired and she wanted to take a nap. Warrick decided that he wanted to join her.

Warrick observed her as she changed into some more comfortable clothing. He studied her belly. He knew that she would look beautiful as she went further into her pregnancy. From behind, he really couldn't tell she was pregnant, but from the front and side, it was pretty obvious. She complained of her breasts aching. Those had grown too, and her bras looked much too tight on her, giving her cleavage that he never knew she could possess. 

"Stop looking at me," she whined. "I'm disgusting."

"No you're not," Warrick said. "You look beautiful."

She gave him a doubtful glare and then pulled on a nightshirt. She scratched her belly as she climbed into bed and snuggled close to him. Warrick put his hands on her tummy and caressed it. He pulled the shirt up to her breasts then he leaned down and kissed her belly.

***

Sara discovered that she had morning sickness in reverse. She would start throwing up in the evenings. So, she had evening sickness. She couldn't keep anything down. During the day, she would eat whatever her heart desired and be prepared to vomit as soon as the sun went down. Warrick was concerned, and he called her doctor. The doctor said that morning sickness doesn't have to occur in just the morning hours. 

Warrick was up with her every night, holding her hair back, rubbing her back, wiping her face. Sara loved him even more for being there for her. Warrick was probably the most patient man Sara ever knew. She'd only seen him lose his temper once, and he knew how to calm down quickly. He would be a good father; he would love and counsel his child.

When she was done vomiting, she went back to bed. Two weeks until their wedding, and now she was pregnant. She happy, but it was a little too soon. Could they handle a baby while still being newlyweds? Could they even afford a baby? Make time for one?

"Are you feeling better?" Warrick asked as he gave her a glass of water.

"Yeah," Sara sighed. She put her hand on her belly. "This kid is causing me grief already."

Warrick grinned and kissed her cheek.

"Thank you," she said. "Thank you for taking such good care of me and now, the baby."

"I just want to see you happy," he said, brushing a strand of hair from her face.

"You don't know how happy you've made me," Sara said, taking his hand in hers. "Never have I been so excited about my life before. I'm looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you."

"I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you," Warrick said, bringing her hand to his lips to kiss it. "You're beautiful."

Sara turned away, blushing like a fool. "Stop making me blush."

She felt like a teenager all over again. Never had she loved a man so fiercely before. It was the kind of love that left you in physical pain if you were without that person, that made you think about that person night and day, that made you want to smile every time you saw that person. That was the love Sara was feeling; and it was such a good, relaxing, refreshing feeling that she relished in everyday.

***

Warrick found himself becoming more nervous as the wedding approached. Soon, Sara would be his wife, and that was a big deal. And, they would also be expecting a new member of the family. Warrick could not wait to see his baby. The best part of that was Sara was going to be the baby's mother. She was giving him a child, and he would forever love and cherish her for that.

Sara was progressing well, and she started working on the little things for their wedding. The menu didn't have to accommodate her vegetarian tastes since she was pregnant and any kind of food was tempting. Warrick thought that it was funny to see her eating every waking minute of the day. She ate anything she could get her hands on…one weird thing that she started eating was cream cheese. She had to have it all the time. Warrick made sure to stock up on a few containers to meet her demands. She ate it like it was ice cream. 

Warrick's only goal was to keep her happy. He hated to see her cry. She was emotional enough as it was, and the wedding was making her brain and her hormones go haywire, so he decided to go along with her every word and request, no matter how odd it was.

He was working on trying to fix their Tivo after it went off in a sudden power surge that swept the city. Sara had insisted on it, since she was missing her favorite show, "Sex and the City". She recorded every episode every Sunday night, and he only had about three hours before it came on.

"Warrick," Sara called from the kitchen. "Do we have any peanut butter?"

"No, we both hate the stuff," he said while trying to work the menu.

She had what looked like a pout on her face. "But I like it now," she almost whined. 

Warrick looked at her then he grabbed a piece of paper from the "shopping list" tablet and a pen.

"Anything else?" He asked.

"Mm…no…well maybe," she paused to think about it. "Um, let's see…get some black olives, some of those doughnut holes, the chocolate kind, some hot cheetoes, and pick up the invitations from the calligrapher."

Warrick nodded. "Got it," he said. "I'll be back in about an hour or so."

"Okay," Sara said as she opened a fresh bag of potato chips.

The grocery store was rather crowded. He was trying to get in and get out as fast as he could so that he could go pick up their wedding invitations. Sara's dad paid for the printing of the invitations. Warrick never knew it would cost so much just get their names printed on a piece of paper. Sara was thrilled at what the final result would be and she decided on the printing. The guest list was now at eighty-five. Catherine was having a field day. She suggested that they get security guards put around the perimeter of their reception area for protection. Warrick thought she was nuts, but Sara said it was a good idea.

"Anything could happen honey," Sara insisted. 

"That's right," Catherine said, feeding in to Sara's hormonal pregnancy-induced paranoia tendency. "No one is allowed in or out of the wedding without an invitation."

Warrick went along with it. 

He went to the aisle where the olives would be. Once there, he found himself in a conundrum: there were plenty of green olives, but there were no black olives. In his mind, an olive was an olive, but in Sara's mind, it wasn't an olive unless in was black. But she wanted olives…he decided to take his chances. It was better than no olives at all.

Everything else on the list was easy to get.

He took a look at the invitations. So far, everything looked normal:

__

You're Invited to the Wedding of:

Warrick Brown 

&

Sara Sidle

The ceremony will take place at Holy Grace Christian Fellowship, 

12567 Tamberlin Street, Plaza #1 @ 6:30 pm

The reception will take place at the Stratosphere Tower @ 7:15 pm

Your presence at the ceremony and reception will be greatly appreciated!

Groom's Immediate Relatives:

Philip & Regina Brown

Bride's Parents:

Victor & Diana Saddle

Saddle?

"What the hell is this?" Warrick asked. 

"What?" The calligrapher asked.

"My fiancee's last maiden name is Sidle," Warrick explained. "How did you mess that up?'

"Where sir?" He asked. He picked up one of the invitations. "Oh dear, oh boy."

"You're right oh boy," Warrick repeated angrily. "We paid nine hundred dollars for this and you can't even spell her parents' last name right? You got it right up here, but what happened when you got to her parents?"

"I-I don't know sir," he said nervously. "How about your money back and a free printing the next time you get married?"

Warrick was in no mood for jokes. 

"Or a free printing in eighteen years when your son or daughter gets married?" He laughed.

"Sara's going to kill me," Warrick muttered to himself. "Is there any way that you can fix this?"

"Unfortunately no," the calligrapher said. "We have other deadlines to meet, and we don't have time to reprint and still do the others on time."

Warrick knew he was in the worst kind of trouble.

***

Warrick came in through the door looking crestfallen.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Sara asked as she came over to him. "Did you get everything?"

Warrick looked hesitant to answer her. He just kind of stared at her. She raised her eyebrows. 

"Hello," she sang as she waved a hand in front of his face. "Am I talking to myself here?"

"Honey," he started nervously. "I'm so sorry…"

Sara was truly concerned for him. "Sweetie, what happened?"

He sighed. "Please don't be upset when I tell you this," he begged. "You are not going to believe this. First I went to the store and I found the olives, but they only had green olives," he explained.

Sara crossed her arms. "That's not what's bothering you. There's more, isn't there?"

"Yeah, unfortunately," he said. "I went to go pick up the invitations, and I looked at them," he paused.

"And?" Sara asked with an edge to her voice.

"Babe," he said. "Your parents' new last name is Saddle."

Sara raised an eyebrow in anger. Warrick looked scared to death. 

"And what did you say to the calligrapher?" She asked, inching menacingly closer to him. Warrick was too scared to even wince.

"I asked him if they could fix the press and reprint them," he began.

"And the calligrapher said…?" She egged on, her anger boiling inside of her, ready to blow like Old Faithful.

"He said no," Warrick said warily. 

Sara blew her stack.

***

"I don't care how you do it, Brown! Just get those fucking invitations fixed!" Sara yelled through the phone at him then she hung up. 

Nick was in the background laughing. Warrick had been kicked out of the apartment due to an ultimatum served by Sara. His choice was to not even come to the doorstep until the invitations were fixed, or come back without the fixed invitations suggesting that they should deal and not have a wedding at all.

Warrick had to stay at Nick's house to avoid the hell that was Sara at the moment.

"Man, you are in serious trouble," he chuckled. "You know it's a bad sign when she refers to you as Brown."

"Pregnancy has really screwed her up," Warrick said. "She's all weird now."

"Well," Nick said, patting his back. "She wasn't the only one in the bed that special night."

Warrick glared at his best friend. "You're funny," he said sarcastically. "I can't wait 'til you're about to get married and expect a baby," Warrick warned. "I'm gonna laugh my ass off when your wife starts threatening you."

"Well, until that day comes, you're still the one who's at the altar, so," Nick said, handing him a beer. "Until that day comes, I'm laughing my ass off."

Warrick wanted to choke him. 


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Where the Grass is Greener 

Chapter Fourteen

Sara and Warrick sat together at the table, looking at the first picture of their baby. It was from the sonogram a few weeks before. Sara wiped the tears from her cheeks, and Warrick held her closer, trying to silently reassure her that everything was going to be okay.

Sara had a miscarriage a few days before, and she was devastated. She took one trip to the bathroom, and when she turned to flush the toilet, she saw blood. Her miscarriage had been painless; at least physically painless, but the emotional pain was overwhelming. It was the finality of it that made her heart ache. After she lost the baby, her abdomen seem to have deflated somehow…losing its bloated look from a progression of two months. 

Warrick was still in shock. When she told him what happened, he placed his hand on her abdomen, to feel if there was even a remnant of what was once there. There wasn't. 

Sara's first impulse was to run away, but she knew she couldn't leave Warrick. She didn't want to. They had to work through their sadness together. She couldn't keep running away, or threatening to do so every time things got tough. She loved Warrick too much. Together, they grieved. Sara held Warrick tight as she fought to keep her tears from flowing, but it was in vain, and she only cried harder. The doctor told them that she could still get pregnant and have healthy children, but it didn't ease the pain and barrenness she felt from losing a first child.

"I'm so sorry," Sara whispered. "I'm sorry. I know how much you wanted the baby."

"Sara, it wasn't your fault," Warrick said. "It just happened."

Sara buried her face in his neck as she cried. She didn't know how long she would be saddened by the loss of her first child.

They held off on sending the invitations for the wedding, cancelled deadlines for the dresses and tuxes, and cancelled their reservation at the reception hall. Everyone supported the couple through their tough time. 

Sara had never been so happy and anxious about something so little in her life. The feeling of being an expectant mother was overwhelming. She was even beginning to glow. It felt and looked real, and it was tangible; a reasonable yearning in her life. Now, it was gone as quickly as it was received, and the onslaught of fresh pain and guilt burned within her. She did blame herself. She knew it was because of the stress from the wedding. They cancelled at Sara's request. Warrick tried to convince her that it wasn't her fault, and that it wasn't because of planning the wedding, but she didn't want to believe him. She took on the unbearable weight of her guilt by herself, and it felt heavier and heavier the more she thought about what she could have done to preserve their first child's life.

After a while, Sara stopped crying, and she broke from Warrick's hold around her.

"I have to go make some phone calls," Sara said.

***

Warrick did his best to deal. He didn't like to see Sara upset. She began to blame herself for what happened, but he knew that it wasn't her fault. He tried to reassure her of that fact but she kept saying that it was her fault.

At work, people inquired about Sara. He'd told them that she was fine and that she was holding up well, which she was. He was proud of her. Despite the incredible amount of guilt that she felt, she was handling herself well.

It was a big relief to know that they could still have children in the future. It was just the disappointment of losing their first baby that was really getting to them. They had pushed the wedding back so that they could have time to think about things and accept what was going on.

The worst part was that she had gone from one physical extreme to another. When she was pregnant, she had a slight bump in her abdomen, and she had gained close to ten pounds. When she lost the baby, the bump was gone, and she lost the baby weight rather quickly. It was truly a tell-tale sign that the baby ceased to exist. The day she told him, he didn't want to believe it. From what she told him, it was a sudden, painless thing. He was glad that she didn't suffer any pain.

On the way to work, Sara was quiet. She sat on the passenger side and looked out the window. Warrick was a little worried about her, but he didn't want to press her to talk. Actually, the truth was that he didn't much feel like talking either. There was nothing to talk about. 

"Babe, are you sure that you're okay to work?" He asked.

She turned to him and a faint smile appeared on her face. "Yeah, I'm fine."

He caressed her cheek and brought her face to his for a light kiss. She put her hand atop of his and she grinned. 

"I love you," she whispered. "Thank you for being supportive and loving me back."

"No problem," Warrick said with a smile. "There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. All I want is to see you happy."

"I am," Sara said then she leaned back over and kissed him. "Now, let's get in there before people think we're fraternizing on company time."

Warrick chuckled. 

When they went inside, they went their separated ways. Warrick met Nick in the layout room. 

"Hey Nick," he said. "What have you got?"

"I have been sitting here for the last two hours trying to find something and it's not working for me," Nick said. "Anyway, how's Sara? I she here?"

"She's good, she's here right now," Warrick explained. "She went to go pick up some paperwork from Gris."

"Is she still…sad about the baby?" 

"Yeah, we both still are," Warrick sighed. "We're slowly moving on. The doctor said that it just happened. Sara doesn't believe it though. She thinks she lost the baby because of planning the wedding."

"Man, I'm sorry," Nick said sympathetically. "I can't even begin to imagine."

Warrick shook his head. "I hope you don't ever have to go through this, man," he ran a hand over his face, the stress evident to Nick. "We try and tell each other that there was nothing we could do about it, but I just can't help thinking that I should've been there for her in some way that day. Or if I could've done something different."

"Like you said," Nick repeated. " It just happened."

"Yeah," Warrick agreed. "But the doctor did say that we could still have kids, and that they would be healthy."

Nick nodded. 

Just then, Catherine walked in.

"Hey," she said solemnly. 

"Hey," Warrick said as he got up to get the other pictures from the crime scene. 

"I just saw Sara in the break room," she said. "Is she going to be okay?"

"Yeah," Warrick said. 

Catherine nodded.

***

Sara was filling out some paperwork when she saw Grissom walk in.

"Hi Sara," he said solemnly.

She did not look up from her paperwork. "Hey."

"I heard about what happened," he ventured. "I'm sorry about the baby." 

She stopped writing. 

"I just wanted to ask you if I had something to do with it."

Sara still did not look up at him. She didn't blame Grissom for the loss of her baby. 

"No," she said plaintively before going back to writing down notes. "I'm not blaming anyone, no one was responsible for it," she explained, becoming increasingly agitated. "I just want to be left alone right now. I'm tired of people tiptoeing around me, and whispering behind my back. I'm sick of it. Yeah, I lost the baby, and yes, I'm still upset, and yes I blame myself."

Grissom looked taken aback by her agitation. Sara just sighed and she threw the pen down on the paper. 

"I don't know what I want anymore," she admitted. "It seems like every time something good comes along, I manage to fuck it up royally and then a piece of my heart is taken away every time. I'm starting to lose my will to keep going. Sometimes, I just want to go away and leave this all behind. Lose myself…but I can't Grissom. I love Warrick too much. And I love you and the rest of the team like family," she wiped her tears. "You guys are all I've got, and I don't want to leave. It's so hard trying to get through this. Everyday I keep thinking that there was something that I could've done."

Grissom sat down next to her. She buried her face in her hands and cried. She didn't know how to feel anymore. She really didn't know what she wanted anymore. She knew that she had hurt Warrick by losing the baby. He didn't outwardly show it, but she knew he was hurt. 

"I need to go home," Sara said. "I just need to be by myself."

Grissom nodded as she got up.

As soon as she got into the apartment, she made a phone call to the airport.

***

Earlier on the shift, Grissom told Warrick that Sara had gone home. He didn't mind that because she still needed some time to deal. 

However, the story was much different when Warrick came home.

"Sara?" He called. "Sara? Where are you?"

He began to panic. He looked all over the apartment for her. Nothing. He sat down on the couch, trying to calm down a bit so that he could concentrate on finding her. He tried to think of several different places she could go. As he thought about it, he noticed a slip of paper on the coffee table. He picked it up and read it. It said:

__

Warrick,

I'm sorry I left like this, but I need some time to myself, away from Vegas for a while. I love you, but I know I hurt you. Please, don't come after me. 

Love, 

Sara

Warrick cursed under his breath and he quickly went to go pick up the phone. 

"Las Vegas International Airport, how may I help you?" A woman answered.

"Please help me," he said. "Did a woman by the name of Sara Sidle call for a flight?"

"Um, let me check our records sir," she said. "How long ago did she call?"

"I don't know," he said.

"Mm," she mumbled to herself. "Ah, Sara E. Sidle, she called for a morning flight to San Francisco at about two this morning."

"Okay, what flight is she scheduled for?" Warrick asked, hoping that her flight wasn't earlier.

"Um, her flight should be coming in about an hour, but they won't be boarding until half past then," the woman explained. " It's Delta flight 7869 terminal ten. Would you like me to book you an emergency flight?"

"Um no, thanks," Warrick said quickly, then he hung up.

He had to get to the airport before he lost her forever. 

He got into his car and then he sped off. He prayed that traffic was going to be light. Sara's flight was coming in an hour, and if he was not there before the plane, he might not have the chance to convince her to stay. Why did she think that she hurt him? She had things all wrong in her head. He had to make her understand that the miscarriage wasn't her fault. He knew it would take time for her to understand that, but they could work it out together. She was doing so well, talking to him, and them holding on to each other for support. Where did things go wrong?

Warrick tried calling her cell phone. She would not answer.

"C'mon Sara," he begged. "Please pick up. I don't want you to go."

So far, traffic was good. He hoped he would get to the airport in plenty of time. 

Just when things were looking up, there was a traffic jam along the freeway because of an accident ahead. He cursed under his breath and he tried to get over on the access road where the entrance to the airport was.

He tried to get over to the exit lane, but rude drivers prevented him from doing so for a long while. He realized that he was quickly running out of time, and he wanted to run all of the other people off the road so that he could get to the woman he loved. He decided he would never forgive himself if he let her go. With every minute that passed by, he felt Sara slipping through his hands. Finally, saving grace allowed him to pass into the exit lane and he sped off the freeway, forcing people on the access road to actually yield at the yield sign. 

He pulled up to the terminal for the Delta flight. He looked at his watch. The airport was quite busy, and he would have a hard time finding Sara. He spent the whole hour in traffic, and now, he only had thirty minutes to find Sara. There were people everywhere, and he had to go through security before he could enter the flight terminal. It was going to take forever, and his pulse was racing.

***

Sara sat at the terminal, and stared out into the hazy Las Vegas horizon. She sighed. She had grown to like the city, but now, she felt suddenly out of place and too weak for it; for Las Vegas was a city pumping with constant energy. It was the second city that never slept. It was time for her to go home. After three years of living in Las Vegas, she finally had to admit that it was time to go back to the place where her life started; San Francisco. 

She sighed and looked around. The airport was busy for a Wednesday morning. There were people rushing to get to their flights, people awaiting friends and loved ones from flights. She witnessed one family reunite from a Southwest flight. She grinned at them, knowing that they would be happy. Sara looked down at her engagement ring. She felt a pang in her heart as she stared at it. She loved Warrick more than anything, but she wasn't right for him. She'd put him through too many things, and she could tell that he was tired of her and hurt. 

A tear escaped her eye and ran down her cheek. 

"Beautiful ring you've got there," a woman's voice admired. 

Sara looked up, wiping her tear. She smiled. "Yeah, thanks."

"Are you married?" 

"No, engaged," Sara explained with a smile, but then it quickly faded. "I mean, I was engaged."

"Was?" The woman of about fifty asked. "What happened?"

"A lot of things that shouldn't happen to any couple," Sara sighed. "Or rather, things that shouldn't happen to one man."

"Mm," the woman said. "I'm Tina, by the way."

"Sara."

"So, are you still planning on getting married?" Tina asked.

Sara almost scowled at how intrusive Tina was, but then she decided she was too downtrodden to scowl. 

"No, I don't think so," Sara admitted. 

"You don't think so?" She asked incredulously. "Either you are or you aren't."

"I don't know," Sara gave up. "I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I don't know what I want, and my fiance is probably torn to pieces right now. I've screwed things up so bad…"

"So, let me guess," Tina started. "You're running away because you think that you're the cause of all of the things that's been going on between you and him, right?"

"No, I'm not running away," Sara said, almost agitated. "I'm just going away for a while, to clear my head."

"And leave your fiance hanging," Tina finished. 

Sara sighed and slouched in her seat. Tina, whoever the woman was, was right. Sara was running away. She was making an even bigger mess of her life. Sara didn't know what she wanted to do. 

"Delta flight 7869 will now be boarding," a female voice called over the intercom.

"Well, that's us," Tina said.

Sara picked up her bag and got in line to hand in her ticket. It was the beginning of her goodbyes. 


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Where the Grass is Greener

Chapter Fifteen

By the time Warrick got through airport security and made his way to the terminal, the plane was already taxiing onto the runway. Sadness plagued his heart, and he knew that he lost Sara forever. He went up to the window, destitute and heart broken as he watched the plane head to the runway. He knew Sara was aboard the plane, alone, and feeling just as guilty as he was. 

When the plane took off in its intended direction, he sighed heavily and turned around and headed out of the airport. He felt cold and empty. He began to blame the environment…the traffic, the security, the people who were unaware of his pursuit for the woman that he was helplessly in love with. Knowing how much in love he was with Sara didn't help things either. 

Warrick ran a hand over his face and began to walk down the stairs to the baggage terminal where his car was parked. As he made his way through the terminal, there she was. He thought his eyes were playing tricks on him, but they weren't. He saw Sara sitting on her suitcase, looking just as pitiful as he knew he was looking, waiting for the rest of her luggage. He stood a minute to admire her beauty before approaching. 

"Sara!" he called as he walked up to her.

He could see her eyes widening, and brimmed with tears as he neared her. She got up and hugged him tightly. She whimpered and cried.

"I couldn't leave! I didn't have the heart!"

Warrick held her closer and he kissed her forehead. He was happy to have her back in his arms.

"I love you so much," Sara wailed. "I can't live without you. I can't stand not being near you. That's how much I love you! I'm sorry for everything I've put you through!"

"Shh," he said. "It's okay. As long as you're here, that's all that matters."

They pulled away and they kissed passionately; something they had not done in nearly a month. 

"I love you," Sara whispered against his lips. "I love you, I love you."

"I love you," Warrick said as he ran his fingers through her hair. "Let's go home."

***

As soon as the door closed, they found themselves involved in a deep kiss.

Sara was close to boarding the plane, but she took another look at her engagement ring, and she realized what she'd be leaving behind. She asked that her luggage be thrown off the plane and sent to the baggage terminal and she gave the ticket to someone else.

Running away to San Francisco was not going to solve her problems.

"Mm," Sara mumbled through their kiss. "Let's go to the bedroom, or the couch, or the floor or something."

"How about the wall?" Warrick asked.

When she realized that he wasn't kidding, she kissed him deeper. She didn't care where in the apartment they made love, she just wanted him an only him. 

"I don't care," she moaned as he kissed her neck. "Just hurry up and make love to me before I inflict serious pain on you"

They had silently agreed on the couch, and he carried her there. Sara took off her shirt and quickly removed her bra. Warrick didn't waste any time. He immediately began to kiss her breasts as she worked on getting his shirt off.

"Dammit Warrick," Sara cursed. "Why did you have to wear a shirt with buttons?"

They pulled away and took off their remaining clothes then quickly reunited and fell back in a heap on the couch. 

Sara arched her back to kiss him yet deeper as she adjusted so that thy could get the best out of their lovemaking on the couch. It wasn't the first time that they'd had sex on the couch. Sara liked the couch and the bed, but her favorite spot was the shower. It gave her a chance to get freaky on Warrick. 

"Oh God!" Sara screamed as she tangled her fingers in her hair and writhed underneath him.

"Sara…" he moaned. "God…yeah."

Sara met his every thrust and she shouted in unadulterated pleasure. She had her legs wrapped around him tightly and she pulled him deeper into her each time. They were showing what they couldn't verbalize. Sara wanted Warrick to know that she loved him with her whole heart and that he was her soul mate. She would never leave him again, no matter how rough things got.

They had switched positions and now she was sitting atop of him, riding him wildly, her climax close.

"I love you," she whispered breathlessly. "I…want…oh…"

She began to mumble incoherently as she drove them to their climax. Warrick kissed her tenderly each time she came down upon him. He put his hands on her hips and she felt him deeper within her. 

Finally, they climaxed together, and Sara collapsed onto Warrick, sweaty and out of breath. 

"I promise you that I won't leave you like that," she said, trying to catch her breath. 

She felt him wrap his arms around her small frame and rested his head on her shoulder. 

"I don't know what I would do without you," Warrick whispered. 

"I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you," Sara said.

Sara kissed his shoulder as they recovered from their lovemaking. Everything about Warrick was desirable to her. She wanted to be near him, to hold him, and to love him. She wasn't afraid anymore. She wasn't afraid to admit her feelings anymore. She held them inside too long and now was the time to shatter her half-empty glass of water and move on with her life.

***

As they lay in bed together, Warrick thought about how much he and Sara had been through with each other. They had seen each other through some hard times together, even before they entered in a relationship with each other. 

"Warrick?" Sara called quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Did I hurt you by losing the baby?" She asked as she looked up at him.

Warrick looked down at her as she looked up, wonder and anxiety in her eyes.

"No," he said, pulling her closer. "No, you didn't. Why would you think that?"

"I don't know," she said, tears brimming her eyes. "That's why I wanted to leave. You looked so hurt and disappointed and I thought it was my fault. It is my fault because I've put you through so much and-"

He interrupted her with a kiss. He had to make her understand that none of the things that happened was her fault. 

He kissed her again and then pulled away and pushed a strand of hair from her face. "I love you. Nothing that happened over the past year was your fault."

Sara sighed and lay back down on his chest. "I just want to be happy. I want to be your wife and give you children. Fill the house to the brim with children. I'll have as many as my body can carry, I promise."

"How many kids do you think that we should have?" Warrick chuckled.

"I don't know," Sara said. "Three would be enough. How about you?"

"I don't know," he said. "I was thinking more like one or two."

"I'll give you as many children as you want," Sara said.

Warrick kissed her hand. 

The next morning, Warrick woke up and made Sara some breakfast while she took a quick shower. He was glad that she was home with him. He didn't know how he would be if she had gotten on the plane. Of course, he knew that he would go after her. He loved her too much to just let her go and not even attempt to get her back. Another thing was that they had been through so much, that he couldn't just give up what they had, no matter how high the odds were stacked against them. 

Sara came in the kitchen, toweling her hair while holding a bath towel to her body. She came up to him and kissed his cheek.

"Mm, that looks so good," she said as she maneuvered around him to get a glass from the cabinet.

He was making an omelet for her. He'd known for a long time that omelets were her favorite breakfast food.

He grinned and pulled her gently to him to kiss her back. She smiled and leaned up into him.

After a few more minutes, they were sitting at the table eating. Sara looked deep in thought about something, and it didn't take long before Warrick began to wonder.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked. 

"Do you still want to get married?" She asked, looking at her engagement ring.

They had not talked about that subject in a while, and he figured it was about time they did.

"Yeah," he said. "I'm ready if you're ready."

"Are you sure?" Sara asked.

Warrick nodded. 

***

"The wedding's still on?" Catherine asked, bouncing with joy.

"Yep," Sara answered. "Everything's ready, and we'll be getting married two weeks from now."

Catherine was reeling with excitement. Sara was thrown a little off balance when Catherine hugged her.

"Whoa, calm down Cath," Sara said in laughter. 

"This is so great! Pretty soon you'll be Sara Brown. Or Sidle-Brown…whichever," Catherine said.

Sara was indeed happy that she and Warrick would be getting married soon. She felt free of her personal problems and she knew that she was headed into a life of love. Sara stared at her engagement ring and smiled broadly. She never thought she would see ring on her finger ever. She felt so proud saying that she was getting married. She was proud to be with Warrick, and belong to him.

"Earth to Sara," Nick said as he waved a hand in front of her face. 

"Oh, sorry," Sara said. "I was just um, daydreaming."

"Aw look," Nick said teasingly. "You're officially a blushing bride."

For that remark, Sara punched his arm and glared at him. Even though she was getting married soon, she did not like being coined as a "blushing bride". It was embarrassing to her. A blushing bride she was not. She was more like an anxious bride.

"Ow," Nick chuckled, rubbing his arm. "Hey Warrick, come get your fiance here, she's dangerous."

Warrick smirked as he approached her and placed a quick kiss on her lips. "I like her that way."

Sara raised an eyebrow at him suggestively as he walked past her to go get some coffee.

Just then, Grissom walked in with assignments. 

Sara really hated not being able to work a case with Warrick. She wanted him to be near her at all times. Not that she was jealous, or paranoid, or possessive, it's just that she liked being around him. She liked being around him even more at home. Sara smiled to herself at those thoughts.

"Hey, I've seen that smile before," Catherine said. "Mind out of the gutter."

Sara sighed and went back to processing the scene.

***

When Warrick and Sara arrived home, she dropped her things at the door and kissed him.

"I missed you," she whispered.

"You shouldn't," Warrick chuckled. "We met for a quick snack and then-"

"I know," she giggled, pressing her forehead to his. "Then we made out like teenagers in the car. You gave me a nice love bite."

Warrick leaned down and kissed her again before she pulled away and went into the kitchen.

"What are you making for breakfast?" Warrick called as he picked up her things and put them in the coat closet.

"Scrambled eggs," she called.

Warrick gave her backside a smack as he passed her to get to the coffee maker. He noticed that they drank a lot of coffee. Actually, Sara was mainly the one that had to have the coffee. She was thrown if she went without it.

"So, how was your case?" Sara asked as she got the eggs out of the fridge. 

"Predictable," Warrick answered. "Not even worth talking about. Yours?"

"Pretty interesting," Sara answered as she set the eggs on the counter. "Catherine and I solved it pretty quickly though."

Warrick nodded. He found that he loved Sara even more when she was doing the simple things. She was cracking the eggs and emptying its contents into a mixing bowl. She looked sexy too, as she worked diligently on getting her eggs right. Now that her scarf was off, he could clearly see the love bite that he gave her. It was a purple spot right on her neck. She had enjoyed their "break". It was the first time they had actually escaped anywhere and get some time to themselves. At first, they were talking, then talking led to necking, then necking led to making out. 

Warrick grinned as he tried to imagine Sara in her wedding dress. He knew that she would be beautiful. He waited for so long, and now the occasion was finally approaching. Even if she didn't want to get married, he'd still love her and be with her. He was willing to wait for her, no matter how long it took.

"Penny for your thoughts?" She asked as she stirred the eggs in the pan.

"I was just thinking about you," he admitted. "You are so beautiful."

"You're pretty damn good looking yourself," Sara commented with a smirk.

In a few moments, the eggs were forgotten.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Where the Grass is Greener

Chapter Sixteen

Their wedding day had finally come, and Sara was so nervous that she thought she was going to be sick. Catherine was trying to calm her nerves with herbal tea rather than coffee.

"Catherine," Sara whined. "I don't know if I can do this. I mean once I say 'I do' I'm married for life."

"Sara, I want you to take a deep breath and focus," Catherine said.

"Focus." Sara repeated, exhaling her breath.

"Breath out the stress." Catherine instructed.

Sara rubbed her temples. "I'm breathing out the stress.and breathing it back in. Dammit, Cath."

Sara just paced back and forth in her wedding dress. All the other bridesmaids were sitting in the chairs available watching Sara have the biggest freak out of her life. It was really embarrassing to her, but she couldn't help it.

"What if Warrick decides that he doesn't want to marry me? Then what?" Sara asked in a panic.

Catherine grabbed her shoulders firmly. "Sara calm down!"

***

Warrick was standing at the altar. Nick, Greg, and Grissom were at his side.

"Five more minutes," Warrick sighed. 

"Don't worry," Nick said.

"I'm not worried," Warrick argued. "You see me worrying?"

"Remember, when you kiss her, tilt her back," Greg advised. "It adds to the moment."

Warrick, Nick and Grissom glared at him.

"I don't even know what her dress looks like," Warrick noted. "And don't let me look like an idiot staring at her. Clear your throat or something."

Nick just shook his head at how nervous Warrick was.

"You got the rings?" Warrick asked Greg.

Greg felt around his pockets. "Nope.oh wait."

"Greg!" Warrick and Grissom said in unison.

He put his hands up in surrender and showed the velvet box. 

"I'm tired of you," Warrick growled under his breath.

The church was filling up, and Warrick only grew more nervous as the time approached for him to see his bride.

"Ready man?" Nick asked.

"Yeah, I think," Warrick answered.

Just then, the music started playing and everyone straightened up and stood up for the procession.

Warrick felt his heart racing, and he grew more anxious as the bridesmaids marched in. Catherine winked at him as she approached the altar and then he caught what looked like a sultry pucker of the lips directed at Grissom. He looked back at Grissom who had a smirk on his face, then it quickly faded to look like he was blissfully unaware.

After the last bridesmaid made it to the altar, he saw Sara enter through the doors with her father. She looked beautiful. Her dress was strapless and simple. It hugged her body in all the right places, and it seemed to scream "SARA!". She had the brightest smile on her face and she was glowing.

She made it to the altar, and her father pulled the veil up to give her a kiss on the cheek. Sara smiled and then hugged her father before coming up to Warrick and facing him. 

"You look beautiful," he whispered to her.

"Thanks," Sara whispered with a smile. "Ready?" 

"Yeah," Warrick said.

The Bishop of the church stepped forward to marry the couple.

"Dearly beloved," he started. "We are gathered here to day to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony. Marriage is not an oath to be taken lightly. I want all you young people out there to hear me: these two adults have decided as one to vow their lives to each other. They have been through trials and tribulations, and they understand that there are more to come as their relationship grows, but they have one thing in common today; love. Love has brought them here, and love will keep them together."

Warrick grinned at Sara and she grinned back. 

"Warrick, are you prepared to say your vows?" The Bishop asked.

"Yes sir," Warrick said pulling out a parchment. "Sara Elena this is my vow to you," he started. "With you as my wife, I vow to put you on the highest pedestal, cherishing you above anything else that this earth has to offer me. You are my life, my love, and my queen, and I will protect you, love you, hold you, and see you through times of need. Sara Elena, this is my vow to you. I love you."

They heard the audience 'aw' at his vows.

"Sara, are you prepared to say your vows?" The Bishop repeated.

"Yes sir," she said nervously. "Warrick this is my vow to you," she started tearfully. "With you as my husband, I vow to obey your every whim, and every word. I vow to put you before anything else, and I will love you until my dying day. I vow to be as loving a wife as I can be and I will always be there to lend a loving, and compassionate hand in your time of need. Warrick, this is my vow to you. I love you."

Catherine handed Sara a tissue. She chuckled as she dabbed at her eyes.

"Ring bearer, do you have the rings?" 

Greg nodded and stepped forward with the ring box.

"Warrick Brown," the Bishop started. "Do you take this woman, Sara Elena Sidle, to be your lawfully wedded wife for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health until death do you part?"

"I do," Warrick said, then he put the ring on her finger.

"And do you, Sara Elena Sidle take this man, Warrick Brown, to be your lawfully wedded husband for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health until death do you part?"

"I do," Sara said with the brightest smile as she put the ring on his finger.

"If there's anyone in this congregation that thinks that this man and woman should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Sara and Warrick looked around nervously, then relaxed.

"Then by the power vested in me by the Lord God and the state of Nevada, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Warrick, you may kiss the bride."

Warrick gently pulled Sara to him and they kissed sweetly as the crescendo played. 

***

"Oh my God!" Sara exclaimed as they entered the reception hall. "I can't believe we did it!"

Warrick laughed and kissed her cheek.

There were cheers and claps from people in the reception hall.

"Please welcome Mr. And Mrs. Brown!" The DJ announced.

They were immediately seated at the head table.

People were served dinner and there was light music playing from the stereos. 

"So, Mrs. Brown," Warrick started. "Would you like to join me for a dance?"

"I would love to Mr. Brown," she said with a smile.

Everyone stepped aside for their first dance. Sara leaned up and kissed Warrick. She was in her bridal flip flops and she was more comfortable that way.

"So, who do you think we can convince to go down the aisle next?" Sara asked.

"I'm thinking the not-so-secretive Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom," Warrick quipped.

"No way!" Sara exclaimed.

"Way," he said. "I saw Catherine blow Gris a kiss on the way up the altar."

Sara raised an eyebrow. "They're good for each other. I knew for along time that he had a thing for her."

"Well, I'll always have a thing for you girl," Warrick said as he twirled her. 

"You better," Sara laughed. "I love you."

"I love you too," Warrick said. They kissed again.

They were both anticipating their future together. It had been a long and winding road to get to where they were at the moment, but it was worth every struggle. 


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Where the Grass is Greener 

Chapter Seventeen

Sara came through the door from the grocery store carrying two big bags. Her keys were clenched in her teeth, and she was struggling with trying to not drop her purse and hold on to the precious groceries. 

"Babe, hold on a minute," Warrick said, coming to help her. "I'll take this bag."

"Thank you," she said after she dropped the keys into her hand. "It was hell trying to get down the hallway."

Warrick came over to her from the kitchen and gave her a kiss.

"Hi," she sighed, the exertion evident in her voice. She leaned up and kissed him again before taking her coat off. "It's kind of cool outside."

"I know," Warrick agreed. "Are you feeling okay?"

She looked at him strangely. "Of course. Why?"

"You're so out of breath," he chuckled as he pushed a strand of hair from her face. 

She scowled at him. "I just held two heavy bags on the elevator, and then I struggled to get down the hall so I wouldn't drop the eggs…"

"I'm sorry," he said as he stepped aside to let her in the kitchen. He gave his wife's figure a once over before going in to assist her with the groceries. She did buy a lot more than they needed, but it was the Italian in her. When he complained about it one time, she told him:

__

"Hey, you never know who could be coming over for dinner."

And sure enough, Jason shows up, proving her point and making him scowl at her.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you," she said, taking a bite of her Snicker's bar. "My grandmother is coming to stay with us for a while."

Warrick thought he heard wrong. "Stay with us as in a hotel in the city stay with us right?"

She turned to him. "No, as in we need to change the sheets in the guest bedroom and make my grandmother's stay here as perfect as possible," she paused, raising an eyebrow, an edge to her voice. "Right?"

Warrick felt a shiver at her tone. "Right babe."

She gave him a warning look before turning back around to put away a few more groceries. He was finished with the bag he grabbed from her and he went over and wrapped his arms around her waist. She melted, as he knew she would, and he kissed her neck. 

"I love you so much," he said.

"I love you too," she said putting her arms on top of his. "I love being married to you. You are so wonderful."

"You're wonderful," he whispered. They rocked gently back and forth. He turned her around and held her close.

"Warrick…" she giggled when he twirled her.

"What? I can't dance with my beautiful wife?" He chuckled.

Sara smiled wider at him and he kissed her before going over to the stereo and turning on some slow music. He came back over to her and started dancing with her. She was smiling brightly, and Warrick loved her even more. He saw her diamond ring sparkling in the light of the kitchen. He was proud to be her husband. He couldn't think of anyone else he would want to be married to.

He caressed her sides then his hands traveled down to her butt.

"Hey, watch yourself," she warned playfully. "Doing that could get you in a lot of trouble."

"Really?" He asked with a smirk, squeezing her butt cheeks.

"Mmhm," she answered as they leaned into each other for a kiss.

Just as things were about to heat up, the doorbell rang, and their moment was rudely broken. Warrick leaned his forehead against hers and sighed. 

"Hold that thought," he whispered in her ear. He kissed her cheek, and then the phone rang. They both groaned. "You get the phone, I've got the door."

They pulled away and went to answer their interruptions.

"Hello?" Sara answered. "Oh hi Lydia. I'm good, how are you? Good…"

Warrick knew that if Lydia was on the phone, he wouldn't get a moment's peace with Sara. Lydia was Sara's best friend from Harvard. They called each other at least twice a week and Sara stayed on the phone for hours. Lydia lived in Montana somewhere and Sara wanted to go visit several times.

Warrick shook his head and then answered the door.

"Hey Nick," Warrick said, thoroughly surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, we all just wanted to stop by to see how married life is treating you," Nick answered with a smirk.

"We?" Warrick asked.

"As in me, Catherine, Grissom, and Greg," he explained. 

"But, Sara didn't tell me you were all coming over," Warrick said, stunned.

"Oh, but don't be such a party pooper," Catherine said, suddenly appearing in the doorway with Grissom in tow. "We brought some food, don't worry."

Sara milled around the kitchen even though their friends had brought some food.

"It's the Italian in her," Warrick said. "She cooks everyday now. The food's not all that bad either."

"As I recall, Mr. Brown, my food was excellent," Sara said as she emerged from the kitchen with some wine glasses.

"It is excellent," he said. She sat on his lap when she handed out the wine glasses to everyone. Warrick poured some wine in her glass first then his, and then he passed it around. She leaned down and kissed him.

"Would you two break it up?" Greg said. "This is a G-rated audience."

"Hey, you came here uninvited," Sara said with a smirk. "Besides you guys broke up a very interesting moment between us."

"Spare us the details," Catherine giggled. "So, what are you cooking?"

"Chicken parmesan, spaghetti, Caesar salad, and some garlic bread," Sara said. "I know you brought some food, but I have to keep my husband well fed."

"No, you just want to have left-overs for the week," Warrick quipped.

Everyone laughed. Sara smiled and she elbowed him playfully.

When the dinner was ready, they all sat around the dining room table. Warrick noticed that Sara was not eating much of anything, and it worried him. She still participated in the light conversations, but she was obviously not looking or feeling like herself. 

"Everyone, I just want to say that Grissom is the sweetest man alive," Catherine said as she raised her wine glass. 

"Is this the same Grissom that gave you chocolate grasshoppers for Valentine's day last year?" Nick chuckled.

Everyone started to giggle.

"Oh, but he is going to do much better this year," Catherine said. "He's taking me to Hawaii for Valentine's Day weekend."

"Way to go Gris," Warrick said. "You've learned well."

Grissom started to laugh. "I'm only taking her to Hawaii because she told me that we're going to Hawaii. What Catherine says goes."

"That's right," Sara said smiling over at Catherine. "Behind every great man there's a woman, right?"

"Damn right," Catherine giggled. 

Warrick shook his head. He married the feistiest woman. He preferred Sara that way. She always made a subject worth talking about.

He was glad to spend time with his friends, even though they interrupted his time with Sara. Once they started talking, he wasn't upset anymore. They were all important in his life and he thanked God that they were there.

After dinner, they all left and Warrick and Sara had their home to themselves again.

As Sara cleaned the kitchen, Warrick put away the food. When he was finished with that, he sauntered over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist again and kissed her. 

She sighed and pulled away. He wondered what was wrong with her. She had been acting strange all night long, and he was starting to get concerned.

"Sweetie, what's the matter?" He asked.

She went over to the other side of the counter and gripped it tightly.

"Nothing, just cramps," she said. "It's nothing. Please don't fuss over me."

"Are you sure?" He asked as he took her hand. "You've been acting strange all day."

"Yes honey I'm fine," she insisted, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. "I'm just going to go to bed."

"Okay," he said then he kissed her hand and let her go to bed.

He finished washing the dishes and then he followed suit. Sara didn't even stir when he came in and put her under the covers. She was sleeping heavier than usual, and she was a little pale. It wasn't a winter time pale, it was a sickly, tired, exhausted pale. His heart began to ache at the possibilities of what might be wrong with her. Maybe it was nothing. She was probably about to start her period. But she wasn't tired when she got her period, usually she was pissed off as hell. He knew because he had to sleep in the guest bedroom on several occasions.

He pushed the thoughts from his mind as he curled up next to her. She was a sleeping beauty. He kissed her cheek then fell into a deep sleep himself.

***

In the middle of the night, Sara woke up to intense cramping pains and she got up out of bed and went to the bathroom. 

She was so tired, she was seeing double. Never had she felt so run down and exhausted before. Bed was calling her as she flushed the toilet and grabbed a tampon and a panty liner. Her cramps would not ease up.

After she washed her hands, she went into the kitchen and took a Motrin. It was eight hundred milligrams. It would make the pain go away, and it would make her even more tired. She hated when she was on her cycle. It was kind of off…it had been off since she was nine. She started getting heavy cycles about two years ago, and it wore her down completely. She would be too tired to eat. All she wanted to do was sleep. 

Sara pulled out her calendar. She checked for the month of February. She'd had her cycle two weeks before. She was getting it again. It was odd to her.

She put it back into the drawer and went to bed.

She crawled back into bed and snuggled up next to Warrick. He wasn't a heavy sleeper, but not every little thing woke him up. She leaned over and kissed his cheek before going back to sleep.

***

Warrick was growing increasingly worried about Sara. He had to wake her up and force her to eat and drink something. She was so tired and worn out, that she could barely stay awake to eat anything.

"C'mon babe," he said, putting some soup in front of her. "You have to eat something. Sit up Sara."

"No," she cried. "I can't. I'm too tired."

"I know, but you have to eat something," he insisted. "Just try and eat a few bites."

She pushed his hand away and she leaned back against the pillows. 

Warrick leaned down and kissed her forehead as she fell right back to sleep. She looked weak and in pain, even in her sleep.

Warrick picked up the phone and called Grissom.

"Grissom."

"Hey Gris, it's Warrick," he started. "Um, Sara and I won't be coming in tonight."

"Why, what's wrong?" Grissom asked.

"Um, Sara's really sick. I don't know whether it's the flu or something else, but it's bad. She just wants to sleep."

"That is bad," Grissom agreed. "Well, I'll give you off tonight. If she gets any worse, take her to the hospital. Take all the time off you need."

"Thanks Gris," Warrick said gratefully.

All throughout the day, he was trying to get Sara to eat and drink. 

"No," she would whine every time.

She wasn't pale anymore. She was almost transparent, and it was unnatural. She was a ghostly pale.

If she wasn't going to eat, then he made sure that she stayed comfortable, and that she wouldn't get up except to use the bathroom. She was even too tired to do that. Warrick decided that he would call the hospital the next morning.

He was sipping at a soda when Sara came into the living room. She wasn't as pale as she was before, but she still looked a bit tired.

"Hey sweetie," he said. "Are you feeling better?"

She nodded and went into the kitchen. She took some medicine and then pulled out her calendar.

He went over to her and kissed her cheek. He happened to glance at the calendar and he noticed that she just had her cycle two weeks ago. He wasn't an expert, but he knew that women got their cycle once a month. Seeing that his wife was on her cycle for the second time in a month chilled him right to the bone. He didn't say anything, though. She had obviously been expecting it.

"Do you want me to fix you anything?" He asked.

She just shook her head and then she went back into their bedroom.

***

Later that night, Sara woke both herself and Warrick up. A horrible, excruciatingly painful cramp surged across her abdomen. 

"Sara, what's wrong?" Warrick asked her, now alert.

"I don't know…ow!" She screamed, and she stumbled out of bed and went into their bathroom.

She closed the door before Warrick could come in and assist her. She felt sticky between her legs, and her night gown was soaked in blood at her junction. She lifted her gown and was horrified when she saw blood running down between her legs. She doubled over in pain.

"Warrick!" She screamed in agony.

He burst through the door and he immediately came to her aid. 

"Oh my God," he gasped as his eyes befell the blood. "Sara, stay here, I'm calling the hospital."

"It hurts!" She cried. "It hurts! Warrick!"

She didn't know what was wrong with her. All she was aware of was the pain. 

Warrick came back in the bathroom and he rubbed her back.

"Oh my God!" Sara cried hysterically. "It hurts so bad!"

"I know babe," Warrick said to her. "The ambulance is on its way."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tightly to get through the pain.

Finally, she heard the ambulance pulling up and Warrick had to get up to let them in. But Sara wouldn't unwrap her arms from him. She felt herself being lifted from the floor and being carried out of their apartment. She was not really aware of what was going on exactly, but she could feel her body being moved from one place to another. Her eyesight was blurry from the searing pain, and she would not let go of Warrick.

She felt her body being laid down on the gurney. 

***

Warrick waited three hours to know what was wrong with his wife. He paced, he tapped a pen on the magazines, bounced his legs up and down, and grinded his teeth in anxiety. He stared at the ring on his finger and remained optimistic, for her.

He didn't call the rest of the team yet. He didn't want to. At the moment, there was nothing that they could do for him. He just had to wait it out and pray that there was a good outcome. He reminded himself that whatever happened wasn't either of their faults. It was just that her small framed body had taken all it could bear, and that she just needed some time to recoup. It was just a small thing, but she would definitely pull through and she wouldn't have to worry about it again.

"Mr. Brown?" An older doctor asked.

Warrick stood up. "Yes sir?" 

"Your wife is doing fine for now," he said. "Why don't you come into my office?"

Warrick followed the man into his office.

"I'm Doctor Franco," he explained. 

"Nice to meet you," Warrick said cordially. "Is my wife going to be okay? What's wrong with her?"

Dr. Franco looked at him for a second before starting. 

"Mr. Brown, we found three cysts on your wife's uterus, and two on her ovaries," he explained slowly, letting it all sink in. "They're not cancerous yet, but they are benign. Now, your wife had a miscarriage about what? Six months ago?"

Warrick nodded.

"That was because the cyst had started growing on her uterus," the doctor explained. "When cysts form, they start eating up some tissue in and around the affected area. The first cyst may have terminated the baby, causing the miscarriage. Her cysts now are causing her to bleed out often. Her red blood cell count is severely low, and she's become anemic. She may have been mistaking her bleeding profusely as being on her cycle."

"Yeah," Warrick said. "She kept telling me that her cycles were off and they started coming twice a month," Warrick recalled. "Dr. Franco, tell me honestly. Is she going to be okay in the long run? Or is she fatally ill?"

"She's going to be fine as long as she goes in to surgery to have the cysts removed," Dr. Franco said. "Oncology will want to do a biopsy of her uterus before we take her in so that they can study it."

"But I thought you said that it wasn't cancerous?" Warrick asked.

"It isn't, but they want to get another sample for a case study," the doctor explained.

"No, you're not putting my wife through any more pain than she has to," Warrick said firmly. "Just get her into surgery and out. Nothing in between. She's in way too much pain to wait any longer."

"Very well," Dr. Franco said.

Warrick went into Sara's room. She had on a hair cover to keep her hair away from her face, and she had on a gown that was ready for surgery. She turned to look at him.

"Hey you," she said weakly. 

He smiled faintly. "Hey sweetie."

"Don't be scared honey," Sara said as she wiped the tears that were falling down his face. "I love you. I need you to be strong for me."

"I will," he said as he held her hand tightly. "I promise I'll be strong."

The nurses came in and began to roll her out to the OR.

"Step aside sir," one of the nurses said.

Warrick leaned down and kissed her lips tenderly before they rolled her down the hall.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Where the Grass is Greener

Chapter Eighteen

Nick, Catherine, Grissom and Warrick waited in the lobby for nearly an entire night. Warrick was physically and emotionally exhausted. Nick tried to keep him entertained with gossip from the lab and jokes. Warrick laughed at a few, but they still didn't lift his spirits. Nothing would make him feel better. The only thing that could was news on Sara.

"Warrick, you can go to sleep you know," Catherine said.

"No, I have to be awake when Sara gets out of the OR," Warrick said stubbornly.

"See, now you're getting just like your wife," Nick quipped. "Stubborn as a donkey."

Warrick even had to chuckle.

Suddenly, a doctor came out into the lobby, sweaty from concentrating on keeping Sara healthy.

Warrick stood up and waited for the news.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Jacobs," he said cordially. "Mr. Brown, your wife is doing just fine. She's going to make a full recovery. We managed to get all the cysts, and she's going to feel like a new woman."

A sigh of relief was audible and Warrick shook the doctor's hand and thanked him.

He went up to see Sara in her room.

She looked better at the moment. Her color was natural again, and her eyes weren't as hollow as they were over the last few days. He sat at her bedside, waiting for her to wake up. She was sleeping deeply, and he knew it would be a while before she came out of the anesthesia. He took her hand and kissed it and then he set it back on her stomach.

He heard a light knock on the door. He turned to see Nick at the door.

"Hey man," he whispered. "How's she doing?"

"She's doing good, she's sleeping," Warrick said. "But she should be okay by this afternoon."

"Good," Nick said. "Well, we're going to take off. Say hi to her for us when she wakes up."

"I will," Warrick said.

***

Sara woke up to a brightly lit room. She felt a little pain where her incision was, but other than that, she felt good. She didn't feel as tired as she had been feeling, and she was profoundly hungry. 

She looked around and she saw Warrick asleep in a chair next to her bed. It was obvious that he'd been up the entire night. She pulled the blanket from the end of the bed and covered him with it. She smiled and then she picked up the call button. In a few minutes, a nurse came in.

"Good afternoon Mrs. Brown," the nurse said. "It's nice to see you awake for a change. Your husband was worried sick about you. He stayed up all night. No one could get him to sit down."

Sara giggled. "That's my husband."

"What'd you need?" The nurse asked.

"Oh, are you serving lunch?" Sara asked.

"Yes, we are," the nurse answered. 

"Good, um, can you bring an extra plate for my husband? I know he's hungry."

"Yes Mrs. Brown," the nurse said. "I'll be back shortly."

Sara laid back down and sighed. She looked down at Warrick who was exhausted. He needed to sleep. He'd been so busy trying to take care of her that he would forget to take care of himself. She loved him even more for putting her needs above his own. He was so good to her, and she knew that she would have to repay him someday for everything that he did to help her in her time of need. 

She saw Warrick stir and then he woke up.

"Hey there sleepyhead," she giggled. "Sleep good?"

"Yeah," Warrick sighed. "How are you feeling?"

"There's a little pain where my incision is, but I feel good otherwise," Sara explained. "The nurse is bringing us lunch."

"Babe, I'm not…"

"Don't lie to me and tell me you're not hungry," Sara interrupted him.

Just then, the nurse came in with their lunch trays.

"Here you go," she said.

Warrick barely touched his food, but Sara ate her whole tray.

"It wasn't my cooking, but it filled me up," Sara said.

Warrick pushed a strand of hair from her face and she grinned. She couldn't tell what he was feeling at the moment, but she knew that deep inside, he knew that she was near death…again. 

"I didn't realize how sick I really was," Sara commented. "I had no idea I had cysts."

"At least they caught it early and now you're perfectly healthy," Warrick said. "That's all that matters."

Sara smiled and she leaned over and kissed him. "I love you so much," she said. "Thank you."


	19. Chapter Nineteen

Where the Grass is Greener

Chapter Nineteen

Sara was in the bathroom scrubbing away at the tub. She wanted it to shine. She didn't know that Warrick was standing behind her in the doorway looking at her butt, which was going in rhythm with her scrubbing. What she was wearing didn't help his situation either. She had on silk pajamas which were shorts and a spaghetti top and he could see the outline of her jade green thongs through it. 

She straightened up a bit to wipe her forehead and then she went back to scrubbing. This time, she scrubbed faster and her butt went even faster in motion. Warrick couldn't stand just looking any longer.

She stood up and turned and she yelped in surprise as Warrick approached her.

"Oh, honey you scared-"

He interrupted her with a passionate kiss. Sara immediately responded and kissed him deeper. She held her hands away from him because the gloves she was wearing had cleaner on them. She took off the gloves and threw them into the tub and then she wrapped her arms around his neck. Warrick began to kiss her neck as his hands roamed all over her body.

"Warrick, I'm all sweaty and nasty," she said. 

"I don't care," he whispered. "You'll sweat even more when I'm done with you."

Sara made a lusty sound as he raised her arms over her head and swiftly took off her pajama top. He kissed her chest as he picked her up and sat her on the counter. She felt how much he wanted her.

"Honey," she purred as she looked south.

She kissed him again fervently.

They made love like never before in their bathroom, and when they climaxed, they swore that they disturbed their neighbors.

"That…was just…" Sara couldn't even find the right word to describe their intimacy. "Oh my God," she chuckled.

Warrick kissed her again and then he sat next to her on the counter and leaned against the mirror. Sara was in awe of their actions before and she smiled widely.

"You planned this didn't you?" She asked, covering her breasts with her arms.

"No, actually," Warrick said. "I saw you scrubbing the tub like a mad woman and your butt was going with you and one thing lead to another…"

"Well, I'm glad you stared so intently at my ass," Sara said. "Thank you."

She leaned in and gave him a slow, lusty kiss.

"Hmm," she started in between kisses. "We haven't…done it…in the…kitchen…yet."

"Good idea," Warrick said.

She felt him pick her up and carry her to the kitchen.

***

"What'd I miss?" Sara asked as she hurried back to the couch with some licorice.

Warrick took one from her and rewound it back to the part that she missed. It was hard watching a movie with Sara. She talked through a movie and she got up and went to do different things while a movie was on. The odd thing was that she picked the movie. They were trying to get through "The Hours" and Sara had to get up and make popcorn, then she got up and got something to drink, then she went to go get some licorice.

"Okay," she said. "Right there is good."

Warrick sighed and played the movie. He had seen the same scene three times in a row. It was a good movie, but between Sara and her need to get up every ten minutes, he was starting to dread the movie.

"What happened? Wait, I think we need to go back a little more sweetie," she said reaching over him to grab the remote.

Warrick rolled his eyes.

"What?"

"Babe, we've gone back four times," he said in exasperation. "Just sit and watch the movie."

"Well, is it okay that I want to go back and try to understand the movie?" She asked in frustration. "What's the point of watching a movie if you don't get it?"

"That's because you keep fidgeting and talking," he argued. "We wouldn't have to go back if you would just watch the movie."

She looked at him with fury in her eyes and she threw the remote down on the table. "Forget it."

"Where are you going?" Warrick asked. "Aren't you going to watch the rest of the movie?"

She just growled in frustration and went into their bedroom and slammed the door.

Warrick leaned back into the couch and started the movie again. At least he would be able to watch it in peace. He loved Sara to death, but some of her habits were irritating. When he married her, he knew he didn't just marry her; he married her family, her friends, her OCD tendencies, and her habits. He smiled. 

A few minutes later, Sara came back into the living room and sat down. He tried to put his arm around her shoulders, but she pulled away and crossed her arms over her chest and focused on the movie.

"Baby," Warrick started.

"Don't talk to me," she warned. "We might miss an important part of the movie."

Warrick shook his head.

Later that day, when they were cooking dinner, Sara asked him the strangest thing out of the blue.

"Sweetie, do you want to get a dog?"

Warrick turned and looked at her. He didn't particularly like dogs, or any other pet for that matter, but by the look in Sara's eyes, she looked like she wanted one pretty bad.

"What kind of dog?" He asked, skillfully avoiding the question.

"I don't know," she said. "It depends."

"Maybe," he said. "I'm not much of a dog person. I really don't like animals in general."

Sara nodded then went back to whatever she was doing. Warrick wondered what brought that on. 

He noticed that she really hadn't been herself. She wasn't the most happy go lucky woman in the world, but she had been a little more reserved than usual, and it was starting to get him worried.

"Babe," he called.

"Yeah," she answered, her back turned to him.

"What's the matter?" He asked.

"Nothing, why?" she asked, turning to him, smiling that fake smile he knew all too well.

"Just wanted to know," he said.

"Oh, well I'm fine," she chuckled. 

Warrick wanted to believe her, but part of him didn't, and he wanted to know what was really going on with her, but he didn't press the matter. If he did, then she would never tell him, and he would never know. He just hoped that she was happy; that he was making her happy.

***

Sara thought about her marriage thus far to Warrick. He was a great husband, a great provider, and a great lover. He was everything that she knew he would be. He made her happy beyond anything, but she still felt like there was something missing.

Sara was grocery shopping with Catherine.

"I don't know why I'm unhappy," Sara said disparagingly as she picked up a box of cereal and threw it into her cart. "I love Warrick more than anything, but I still feel like I'm not complete, you know? God, I've only been married for seven months and I've already got the blues. I should be happy, glowing, having sex more times than I can count on both hands. Is there something wrong with me?"

"Sara, what is it that you truly want?" Catherine asked as she picked up some granola bars.

"I just want to be happy, feel happy, live happy," she said. "Warrick is the most loving, most sweetest man I know and I love him deeply. I'm comfortable with him, but I'm not happy. It's because of me. I know that he's probably asking himself the same questions as I am. I know he thinks that I'm crazy. Hell, he saved me from killing myself."

People in the store stopped what they were doing and looked at her. Sara tinged red and she and Catherine moved out of the aisle quickly.

"Have you talked to him about how you feel?" Catherine asked looking at the nutrition label of a product.

"No," Sara answered. "I don't know what to say to him."

"Just be honest," Catherine said practically. "If you lie to him, you'll never get what you want."

Sara sighed.

***

Warrick was not sure what Sara was about to tell him, but he was prepared either way. She came home from the grocery store and put the groceries away silently before coming into the living room and sitting him down across from her. Something in her eyes told him that there was something wrong.

"Warrick," she started. "Are you happy?"

He looked at her strangely for a second before answering.

"Yeah," he said. "Of course I'm happy."

"I mean, really truly happy, like you're satisfied with your life," Sara clarified.

That was a difficult question. There were plenty of things that he wanted to do in his life, but he was still happy nonetheless. He knew that he would get to do all those things in life with Sara at his side. The only way he could be unhappy was without Sara and he prayed that he would never have to live without her.

"I'm satisfied with my life at this point," he said. "Sweetie what are you trying to ask me?"

She hesitated for a moment before starting.

"I'm glad that you're happy and satisfied with your life right now," she said. "But I'm unhappy."

"Why? Is it me?" He asked, taking her hand.

"No, no, you're wonderful," she said, turning away from him. "It's me. I feel like there's something missing, and it's very unsettling and confusing."

"What is it that you want?" He said. 

"I want a baby," she said quietly.

"Well, we can start trying whenever you want," Warrick said.

Sara let go of his hands and stood up. She began to walk around.

"I went to the doctor the other day so they could check on my post surgery progress," she explained. "And they told me that everything was fine. I asked them if I could conceive and they told me yes, but…"

Warrick's heart was beating so fast he thought that it would explode.

"But what?" 

She began to cry. 

"They told me that if I did get pregnant that the baby wouldn't last in the first trimester," she cried. "I want a baby, I want to give you a baby but I can't. That's why I'm so unhappy."

"Sweetie, it's okay," Warrick said.

"No, it's not," she said. "I asked the doctor why and he told me that it was because my uterus is too small and too thin. He said that it was because of the cysts and that it was heredity…all these different things and it's killing me inside."

Warrick hugged her tightly.

"What good am I to you if I can't give you children? What kind of wife am I?"

"The good kind, the beautiful kind," Warrick whispered. "I love you. It doesn't matter to me whether we can have kids or not. As long as I get to spend the rest of my life with you, that's all that matters."

"Warrick," she whispered. "I want to try," she said desperately. "I don't care what the doctor says. I want us to try and have a baby. We can prove them wrong."

"Are you sure?" He asked, looking into her eyes.

"Yes," she said. "I want to make you happy, and I want us to be happy."

He leaned down and kissed her passionately.


	20. Chapter Twenty

Where the Grass is Greener

Chapter Twenty

Warrick woke up to the sound of their new Pomeranian barking at the door.

"Shut up Angie!" He yelled.

Sara stirred and woke up with a smile on her face. 

"Isn't that a lovely sound in the morning?" She asked. 

He turned and glared at her.

"Okay Angie, mommy's coming," Sara yelled. "Warrick, please show the dog a little love. She needs it for her self-esteem."

"Great, we got a dog with a complex," he quipped.

Sara rolled her eyes at him then she leaned down and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Warrick hated the dog with a passion.

***

"Hey bro," Nick said as he and Warrick met in the hallway on the way to a layout room. "How's the dog?"

"Don't even start," Warrick warned. 

Nick began to chuckle.

"I'm beginning to think that Sara is starting to love the dog more than me," Warrick said. "And she barks all the time."

"Who? The dog or Sara?" Nick asked.

"The dog," Warrick answered with an edge to his voice. "Why are you finding this so amusing?"

"It is amusing," Nick said. 

"If you weren't my best friend," Warrick warned through gritted teeth.

"Do not tempt a desperate man, Nick," Grissom warned.

Nick looked at him. "Jack Nicholson?"

"Shakespeare," Grissom said. "How's the new dog?"

"A pain in the ass," Warrick said. "Sara loves that dog. I can't get rid of it."

"I need to talk to you," Grissom said.

Warrick followed Grissom to his office, then he took a seat on the couch in there. Grissom's office always freaked him out, and he avoided going in there half the time.

"Catherine told me that you and Sara have been having some troubles," Grissom started.

Warrick couldn't deny that there was strife. 

"It's Sara," he started. "We're trying to have a baby, but she's not getting pregnant. That's why we got the dog. I think she's compensating. She's been obsessed with getting pregnant for months now, and I think that she's trying to accept it, but it's hard for her. It's even hard for me, and I'm not the one trying to get pregnant."

"Yeah," Grissom agreed. "Well, I hear all the gossip from this place now that Catherine and I are dating. I swear, she's like a tape recorder. So you have an annoying dog, and I have a walking, talking sleeping Star Magazine. There's one in every family."

Warrick chuckled.

"Good luck," Grissom said.

"You too Gris," Warrick said as he got up to leave.

Warrick walked into the locker room and found Sara sitting on the bench hugging Catherine tightly as she cried hysterically.

"What happened?" Warrick asked.

Catherine turned to look at him while still holding Sara and smoothing down her hair.

"She had another miscarriage," Catherine said, teary eyed herself.

Warrick went over to his wife and tried to get her to face him.

"Baby, please look at me," he said, his heart aching. "Sweetie, it's okay."

Sara continued to cry. 

***

Sara heard the knocks on the door to their bedroom. 

"Sara, please come out," Warrick begged of her.

She pulled the sheets up closer and turned away from the door. The room was so dark that she was unsure whether it was night or day. It would have been her third straight day shut up in her room in the bed. She knew that Warrick was worried sick about her and at the moment, she didn't care. The pain in her heart was too great to care about anything else. She even stopped taking care of the dog. The world and time just seemed to stop, freezing her in her own private grief for the loss of her second child. 

She cursed her body for being so weak as to not being able to handle accommodating a baby for nine months.

There was no helping the situation. Nothing would help her. She tried taking and doing everything possible to obtain what she wanted. It was a woman's right to have child; why couldn't she give her husband a child?

She only had one option left: she had to accept that she wouldn't be able to have a baby. Plain and simple. It was hard, but she had to do it; not just for Warrick's sake, but for her own as well so that they would be able to move on with their life and be happy. Besides, there were other ways to have children. They could adopt, or do surrogate, or foster. It wasn't the end of the world.

Still, Sara wasn't ready to accept her disheartening reality, and she felt so cold and empty that it shook her straight to the bone.


	21. Chapter Twenty One

Where the Grass is Greener 

Chapter Twenty One

Sara hugged herself tightly as she stared out into the Pacific. The sound of the waves was a sound that she had no heard in years. It was comfort, and her heart filled with joy of the memories of her home. 

She sighed and made her way back to the beach house her parents owned. It was quiet; hardly anybody passed by it on the road that went along the cliff that rose above the house. There was no noise from the visitors to the beach, and no other neighbors close by to disturb her. Her parents said that she could use it as long as she needed.

When she first came to San Francisco, her father had a conniption about her coming by herself.

__

"See, what did I tell you?" Victor Sidle asked his wife. "Why your husband not come with you? I told you that he was not for her!"

Sara and her mother rolled their eyes at his tirade. Diana Sidle drove her daughter to the house.

Sara made sure to explain that Warrick was coming after a few weeks. Sara needed some time alone. After she had her second miscarriage, she couldn't bear to look at anybody that knew her for they had a look of sadness over her all the time. She didn't want that, and Warrick didn't know what to do anymore; he didn't know how to comfort her. Sara decided that it was best for both of them if she went back to California by herself. 

Being by herself gave her plenty of time to reflect. She wasn't nervous about Warrick being at home without her. She knew that he would be faithful to her and their vows. 

She ran her fingers through her hair as she opened the screen door to the house. She chuckled at her parents' style. Everything had to be Italian. They still had Italian loyalty and pride, even though they were run out of their native land by a backstabbing best friend. Sara wondered what her life would have been like if she grew up in Italy. She'd probably be speaking the language, and she would have been privileged. Her father was the Italian General's second in command, which gave him a lot of power.

Sara decided that she wouldn't have liked to have grown up in high class society. It would have driven her crazy and she would have been much more rebellious than she was when she was a teen.

Sara lit a fire in the fire place and then she fixed herself a cup of coffee. 

She went over to her suitcase and pulled out her wedding picture. She was glowing and happy. Sara longed for that kind of happiness again. She and Warrick had not been truly happy since their wedding day. It was hard for them to come to terms with the fact that they could not have children of their own. It caused many sleepless nights for Sara. Warrick was trying his best to assure her that it was not uncommon, but it was hard for her still.

It was ironic to her; she had all the equipment, but none of it worked the way it was supposed to.

She and Warrick had started looking into adoption. Some agencies told them that with their area of profession, that it wasn't a good idea, and that it would be hard for them to adopt a child. It was violently unfair, and Sara gave up on the idea a few weeks after.

It seemed nothing would let her have the one thing she always wanted.

***

Warrick stared at a picture of Sara. She was smiling brightly and trying to turn away from the camera, but he got a good shot. She was sitting outside on their balcony drinking some orange juice in nothing but one of his shirts. He couldn't resist. 

It was one of those rare occasions when she was truly happy. He wanted to see her happy again. She was taking not being able to have a baby very hard. He knew that was one thing she wanted.

She went back home to San Francisco and he promised her that he would go to her in a few weeks. He knew that she wanted to be by herself. He wanted to be there to comfort her and tell her that everything was going to be okay.

***

Sara was laying in bed when she heard a knock on the door. She got up and she grabbed a robe.

She tied it as she padded over to the front door. When she opened it, she was overjoyed.

"Warrick," she said as she wrapped her arms around him. "I love you. I missed you so much."

"I missed you too," he whispered.

"I want us to be happy again," Sara said. "I'm happy with you. You're my life and I don't ever want to be without you."

"I love you and I'm happy with you too," he said, pulling away a bit to look into her eyes. "You're my wife, and you're worth more to me anything else in the world. I don't love you any less because we can't have kids. Just a bump in the road."

Sara smiled and she pulled him into the house. She was so happy to just have him within close proximity. She leaned up and kissed him.

"I love you," she said against his lips. "And I know that I can't dwell on this forever. I want to move on," she paused to kiss him again. "I want to enjoy my life with you."

She pulled him close to her and kissed him passionately. They pulled away and Sara took his hand and led him to her bedroom. Once there, she turned and faced him. His eyes held nothing but love and adoration for her and he put a hand on her cheek. She leaned into his touch and sighed. She kissed him again.

His hands went to her waist to untie the robe. She shrugged it off and kissed him deeper. 

She realized how unflattering her night gown was and was embarrassed, but Warrick didn't seem to notice as he pushed the straps holding it on her small body off and let it reveal her naked body underneath. She unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off him and threw it to the side. She leaned her body into his and kissed him fervently. 

They made love slowly all night long, forgetting about their pasts and letting go of the present.


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

Where the Grass is Greener

Chapter Twenty Two

Angie came scratching at their bedroom door, barking and whining. Warrick really hated that stupid dog. He was sleeping good until the dog woke him up. Sara was on his shoulder, and she stirred at the sound of the irritating brat of a dog. He felt her smiling against him and he sat up to face her.

"That dog is annoying," Warrick said.

"Come on Warrick," Sara said, getting up out of bed. "You haven't given the poor dog a chance."

"This is the dog's third household," Warrick argued. "The first time she ran away, the second time the family brought her back to the shelter, and this time, the little banshee is with us, driving me crazy."

"Warrick," Sara said as she crawled back onto the bed. "You can be so dramatic sometimes."

She leaned in and kissed him. He pulled her back down to the bed with him and kissed her deeper.

Warrick grinned and pushed a strand of hair from her face. She looked beautiful and he couldn't help but kiss her again. She smiled and then she climbed over him and went into the bathroom.

"So, do you think we'll finish redecorating this afternoon?" Sara asked from the bathroom.

"I think so," Warrick answered as he opened the door for Angie. 

Warrick rolled his eyes as Angie followed him around, barking and trying to keep up with his ankles.

"Come here Angie," Sara called. "Come on girl."

Angie ran over to the bathroom. Warrick ran a hand over his face as he picked up their work clothes for working on the next room. Sara put a lot of stock into the dog. She bought the Pomeranian a Prada collar. It was one hundred seventy dollars. Warrick was upset and he expressed his views to Sara, who fought back heatedly. She won.

But lately, they'd been putting a lot of stock into something else together and they hoped that the final product would be perfect. 

Sara's grandmother decided that she did not want to stay in Las Vegas. Instead, she went to Atlantic City, much to Sara's disappointment, and Warrick's relief. Warrick met Sara's grandmother a few days before their wedding. All of the Sidle women were fiery and he feared them all. Her grandmother was the ringleader.

"Sweetie, what are you thinking about?" Sara asked as she came out of the bathroom.

Warrick turned and he was immediately called to attention seeing her in just her bra and panties. They were purple lace with vines as the design. He knew that she was truly concerned, but he couldn't take his eyes off of her. He'd never seen _that_ particular underwear before. She looked sexy and he couldn't bring himself to say anything to her.

He figured that she noticed that he was wondering about her underwear.

"Oh, there was a sale at Lane Bryant," she explained. "Buy one get one free. Do you like it?"

"Hell yeah," he said under his breath in awe. "I mean, yeah. They look nice. I like the color too."

"Thanks," she said, looking at him strangely. "Anyway, come on, let's get the room done."

* * *

Sara smiled as she painted their former office. They moved their office equipment into their spacious master bedroom and cleared out the closet. There was a new arrival coming soon, and they had to get the room all fixed up to match his specific tastes.

"Do you think he'll like it?" Sara asked as she stepped back to look at the pattern they painted on the wall. 

"He'll love it sweetie," Warrick assured her. "Don't worry."

Sara threw down the paint brush and sighed heavily as she sat down on the floor.

"I don't know," she said. "I'm so nervous."

"You don't need to be nervous," Warrick said as he sat down next to her. He began to massage her shoulders.

"What if I'm a bad mom?" Sara asked despairingly. 

"You'll be a great mom," Warrick chuckled. "He's not even here yet and you're worried about what kind of mother you'll be."

"Pre-maternal jitters," Sara giggled. "How are you holding up?"

"Me?" He started. "I'm a little nervous myself, but I'm excited."

"Is it right for me consider myself a mother?" Sara asked.

"Of course it is," Warrick said. He kissed her cheek. "You'll do fine."

* * *

"Mr. and Mrs. Brown?" The assistant called from the main office.

Warrick looked over at Sara, who was paralyzed with anxiety. He squeezed her hand and helped her up onto her wobbly feet and they went into the main office together. Warrick had been acutely aware of how warm it was in the office. He felt the sweat forming at the back of his neck, and when their name was called, he felt even more nervous. Sara gripped his hand tightly.

The headmistress was sitting in her black leather desk chair and looking through some papers.

"Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Brown," she said cheerfully. "Please, have a seat."

They reluctantly let go of their hands to sit in the widely spaced chairs across from the desk.

"It's been a while," Warrick started.

"Yes, it has," Headmistress Thorington chuckled. "Well, I've looked through all of your credentials, your lines of credit, your home life, and your rather odd yet prosperous line of work, and it seems like you are a loving, happy couple."

Warrick grinned at Sara as she looked to him proudly.

"You are a loving, happy couple," headmistress said. "And you're just what this agency is looking for, except one thing…"

Warrick's heart began to beat wildly out of control.

"Well, we're not biased or anything, but you're an interracial couple and…"

"Well what is that supposed to mean?" Sara asked, losing her control.

"Well, I was just getting to that," headmistress said. "You qualify for adopting Darren, but he's an African-American child and quite frankly, it is in this agency's opinion that all children should have equal chances…"

"What is it exactly that you're saying?" Warrick asked, afraid of where the conversation was going.

"Well, for one, we have plenty of mixed children and it's not often that they get adopted, and it's best to keep your options open," headmistress explained nervously. "And two, Darren's mother doesn't want him with an interracial couple."

Warrick looked over to Sara who was shell-shocked.

"Excuse me?" She asked, near the brink of rage.

"Well, we do have to honor the parents' wishes when it comes to the child," Headmistress Thorington explained.

Sara grabbed her purse and got up prepared to leave.

"Mrs. Brown, you have to understand…"

"Understand?" She asked. "Understand what? That people let their ignorance get in the way of the welfare of their child?"

Warrick tried to comfort her, but she pulled away.

"No," she said. "You know what? You people make me sick! Do you know what it's like to lose two babies? Do you understand how painful it is to know that your own body will fail at doing the one thing you always wanted? Obviously you don't. My husband and I have sacrificed our privacy, opened up our home and now you tell us that we can't adopt Darren because of ignorance?"

"Mrs. Brown that is not fair to call the child's mother ignorant," the headmistress said harshly.

"Not fair? It's not fair to that little boy that he won't be able to go home today!" Sara cried. "I went to that playground last week and I promised him that he was coming home with me. Warrick and I painted his room the way he wanted it yesterday and we bought him furniture. I promised him!"

Sara opened the door and stormed out.

Warrick stood up.

"I'm terribly sorry," the headmistress said.

"It took you almost a year doing a background check on us," Warrick said with an edge to his voice. "You called us last week and said that Darren was going to be coming home with us. If we go to another agency…it could take us much longer to adopt another child. How can you do this? Is there any way we can contest?"

"No, I'm afraid not," the headmistress said. "I really am sorry."

Warrick sighed and headed out to find his wife. He found her leaning against the car trying not to lose her balance with her crying. He rushed over to her and he hugged her tightly as she cried.

"I'm sorry babe," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

Sara held to him tighter as she cried.

"I promised him!" She repeated. "I promised him!" 

"Shh," Warrick whispered. "I know. Come on sweetie. Let's go home."

* * *

Not being able to adopt Darren not only hurt her heart, but it hurt deep down where she felt barren. Sara had promised the little boy that he would be coming home with her. She would never forget his face and his brown eyes. He was cute as a button, and when Sara first saw him, she knew that he was the right one. 

It was very difficult seeing all those children, showing out for searching adoptive parents, but Darren was the quiet one, and he looked like it didn't make a difference whether he went with a family or not.

Warrick opened the door for Sara and she went in solemnly. She knew that her eyes were puffy from her hysterical crying and that she wasn't looking like the bride Warrick married. She stood in the middle of the foyer, biting her thumbnail, trying not to cry. She felt Warrick wrap his arms around her waist and she turned and hugged him.

"Is it me, Warrick?" She asked. "Is it because of my breakdowns and medical history?"

"No, it's not you," Warrick assured her.

"I just want a child, is that so much to ask?" Sara cried.

Angie seemed to have sensed that there was something wrong and she didn't come charging at full speed to the door.

* * *

Warrick wanted to make their first anniversary special. Sara had been so saddened by not being able to adopt Darren that he wanted to make her feel good for at least one night. He appreciated and loved Sara.

He had gotten her out of the apartment long enough so that he would have plenty of time to make dinner and prepare for afterwards. He took Angie to Nick's and Nick was anything but happy to keep the noisemaker of a dog, but Warrick begged him to keep Angie over night. Warrick didn't want the dog to be the first thing he woke up to. 

He made vegetarian friendly food for Sara. He even put out the ugly dinnerware that Sara bought from Tuesday Morning on the dining room table to make her even happier. There was a trail of roses that led from the front door to the bedroom and bathroom, a dozen roses were on the bed, and there were candles lit. He knew Sara would like the roses and the candles. Warrick made sure that they were aroma therapy.

As for her gifts, he bought her a red silk nightgown that would definitely flatter her figure, a pair of pajamas with matching slippers, a necklace with a heart shaped pendant lined with diamonds, and a grooming set, which happened to be the Sidle women's family heirloom. It was antique and Sara's mother told him how much she loved it.

Warrick hoped that their anniversary would make her feel better, despite all that was going on.

When everything was prepared, he turned on some music, then he waited for her to get home.

After about another twenty minutes, he heard her coming through the door.

She gasped.

"Happy anniversary," Warrick said as he wrapped his arms around her. "You look sexy."

She had on a black halter dress, compliments of Catherine.

"Thank you," she said. "Happy anniversary to you. Thank you so much. I was surprised."

"Really?" Warrick asked. "Nick didn't open his big mouth to you?" 

"I didn't hear one," she started in between kisses. "Single…word."

Warrick smiled and pulled back a little to inspect her figure. "You look so beautiful."

Sara blushed.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you too," Warrick said before giving her a tender kiss.

* * *

Sara loved all of her gifts and she was glad that Warrick liked his gift. She gave him a watch that had his name engraved on it, and their wedding picture on the face of the watch. 

She enjoyed the dinner that he made for her, and the good part happened when it was time for her bath. She had not taken a hot bubble bath in so long. The minute she got into the tub, she relaxed into him and smiled in delight. 

"Thank you sweetie," she sighed. "This is just what I needed. You really hit the spot for our first anniversary."

"I knew that you would like this," Warrick said as he sluiced water over her legs. 

"Thank you for such a wonderful night," Sara said. "And the best part is that it's not completely over yet." 

Warrick caught on to what she was talking about and he began to kiss her neck right at the spot that turned her on. She leaned into his kisses. She leaned up and captured his lips with hers and kissed him sensually. 

"I love you," she said against his lips.

"I love you too," he whispered back.

* * *

The next morning, instead of Warrick waking up to Sara's rosy cheeks, he woke up to her rustling the sheets trying to get out of bed quickly and to her inhumanly green face. He wondered what was wrong with her.

She pulled him onto the floor because the sheets were tangled around both of them. He had to roll around a few times to unwind himself as Sara made her way to the bathroom. 

"Not the best way to wake up after the first anniversary, but I'll take it," Warrick grumbled to himself. He got up off the floor and pulled on a pair of boxers and followed Sara into the bathroom.

"Babe, what's wrong?" He asked. "Are you going to be okay?"

Sara put a hand up to let him know that she was going to be alright. She gripped the counter with her hands and looked into the mirror and breathed deeply. She gagged a couple of times. Slowly, her face regained its color and she turned on the faucet and splashed some water on her face. Warrick had no idea what her episode was about.

"Are you sure you're okay now?" Warrick asked.

"Yeah," she said. "I just woke up a little nauseous. I'll be fine. I have to brush my teeth."

Warrick went over to his side of the counter to his sink and followed suite. He watched as she instantly paled again as soon as she started brushing. It didn't seem to bother her, so he continued to brush his teeth. 

He looked over again and as soon as Sara opened her mouth to brush her tongue, she threw up. It got all over her faucet and the counter. She threw her toothbrush down and ran to the toilet. Warrick rubbed her back as she threw up everything she ate from the day before. 

"I'll go get you some water," he said.

Warrick went to the kitchen and got her a glass of ice cold water. By the time he got back to their bedroom, the door was closed and he could hear her retching violently within. He knocked on the door.

"Just leave me alone for a bit," she requested. 

About thirty minutes later, she stopped vomiting. She finally emerged from their bathroom, pale and exhausted. She rubbed the thin layer of sweat off of her forehead and sighed.

"I'm sorry honey," she said. "Not the most beautiful way to wake up is it?"

Warrick chuckled. "It's not your fault. Do you think the fish I cooked you was bad?"

"No, I know how you are about checking labels," Sara said. "I think it just didn't agree with my stomach. It was good on the way down though."

* * *

Sara leaned in the doorway of what would have been Darren's room. It still smelled of fresh paint. 

Sara began to cry. She felt Warrick wrap his arms around her.

"Darren would have loved his room," she cried. "He would have had a great view, and he would have been able to see where we work."

Sara wiped her tears. She felt dizzy all over again and she broke from his embrace to go to the bathroom. She figured that she had contracted salmonella from the fish. Bad batch.

She heaved into the toilet one more time before standing on unsteady legs and going over to the sink. She splashed cold water onto her face and exited. She didn't have a fever or diarrhea thank God. It would have made her even more miserable. Something in the back of her mind was telling her that it was something else, but she pushed it out of her mind.

"That's impossible now," she said to herself into the mirror. "Don't fool yourself."

When she emerged from the bathroom, Warrick wrapped a blanket around her and led her to the couch.

He kneeled in front of her when she sat down. 

"Don't look at me," she said as she turned away. "I know I look awful."

"No," Warrick said, putting a hand on her tearstained cheek. "You look beautiful."

Sara sniffed and she leaned in and hugged him.

"I love you so much," she whispered. 

"I love you too," Warrick whispered back. 

They held each other for what seemed like an eternity before Warrick pulled away and sat next to her on the couch. 

Angie appeared out of nowhere and hopped up onto Sara's lap. Sara chuckled as she rubbed Angie's ears.

"Someone's been into the Kibbles," Warrick quipped.

"What do you mean?" Sara asked.

"Don't you think that Angie's gotten a little…chubby?" Warrick asked.

Sara furrowed her eyebrows. "No," Sara said indignantly. "Don't listen to daddy, you are not chubby."

Angie only barked. Sara laughed when Warrick tried to pet the dog and she growled.

"Stupid dog," Warrick muttered under his breath.

Sara put Angie down and then she leaned against Warrick. She treasured the moments she spent with him. He was so sweet and kind and he didn't push her pr make her do anything. He was comfort through all of the things that had been going on in their lives thus far. More had happened to them as a couple than any one couple should have to endure.

"Do you think we'll be okay?" Sara asked.

"Yeah, I think we'll be fine," Warrick answered.

* * *

Sara felt Warrick wrap his arms around her waist as she cooked dinner. She giggled.

"Warrick," she chuckled as he kissed her neck. "I'm trying to cook here."

"I know," he whispered. "But you look fine girl."

"Stop it," she said with a smile.

"You do," he said as his hands caressed her hips and her thighs. "And how could I not come over here and kiss the most beautiful woman in the world?"

Sara leaned up and kissed him before going back to stirring the sauce for the ravioli. She felt one more kiss to her neck and then he unwrapped his arms from around her waist. He smacked her butt before going into the pantry to retrieve some items she requested.

Sara turned off the stove and let the sauce sit while she drained her noodles for her ravioli. She had garlic, green onions, and mozzarella to stuff the ravioli. Her mother taught her how to cook when she was eight. Growing up in a B&B taught her certain skills that she knew she would otherwise have learned as an adult. One of them was letting go, and an instinct for survival. Sara remembered three occasions in which her life and her family's life was threatened by a strange person, or a political foe from Italy. 

Letting go was a lesson hard learned when one of her best friends died in a car wreck. Sara knew she had to move on with her life for her friend's sake. The same applied to her now. Sara finally did accept that she and Warrick couldn't have a baby of their own, and they'd given up on the adoption process. Sara found that she was still happy nonetheless. As long as Warrick was by her side, she knew that she would have to let go. She knew how much Warrick loved her. And she loved him more than anything. That was all they needed.


	23. Chapter Twenty Three

Where the Grass is Greener

Chapter Twenty Three

Warrick and Sara entered their apartment, exhausted from their shift.

"Please tell me that last night wasn't the busiest shift we've had ever," Sara begged as she plopped down on the couch.

"Sorry babe," Warrick said as he sat down next to her.

"Massage my back please," she asked.

"Sure," Warrick said. 

She moaned in pleasure and relief as he massaged her lower back. Warrick noticed that she'd been filling out lately. He saw it in her hips mostly but didn't say anything about it because he knew that was going to happen once she stopped skipping meals. The other day, Warrick looked at old pictures of them and he noticed how skinny she really was. Ever since they had gotten married, he made sure that she didn't miss a meal. It took her a while to get used to eating at least two meals a day, but she did and she told him that she looked and felt much better.

"Thank you sweetie," she said, turning to him.

Warrick put an arm around her shoulders as she lay her head down on his chest.

Just as they were about to drift off, the door bell rang, and Warrick got up and answered. Sara sat up and ran a hand through her longer, thicker hair and yawned.

When Warrick opened the door, he was at a loss for words.

"Who is it, honey?" Sara asked as she approached to door, her expression mirroring his as her eyes befell Headmistress Thronigton and Darren.

Warrick grinned and Sara rushed to the little boy and gave him a hug.

"It took a lot of convincing, but the mother finally gave in," the headmistress said proudly. "Take good care of him."

"We will," Warrick said.

* * *

Sara was so happy to see Darren at their front door. She hugged and kissed him.

"We missed you so much," she said to him, letting the tears flow. "We love you very much."

Sara stood up and took Darren's tiny hand.

"Do you want to see your bedroom?" She asked. "Come on. Warrick and I painted it just the way you wanted. Then after that, I'll make you anything you want to eat. Are you hungry?"

Darren nodded as he grinned widely. Angie came running up to him barking her little head off.

Sara pushed the dog aside as she led Darren to her bedroom. Warrick followed after he put the dog outside. Sara's heart was leaping with joy. Darren was finally home, and they were finally a family. Sara felt that void in her heart fill with love and happiness.

Sara opened the door to Darren's room and Darren looked in awe. Sara smiled at Warrick when Darren entered and felt around a bit. The four year old looked around in wonder at all of the things the shelter did not provide. He loved frogs, just like Sara did, and the walls had giant frogs painted on them with a yellow background. Children's books lined the bedside tables and the shelves, and there were toys and stuffed animals neatly nestled near the window by a frog shaped chair next to a toy box.

"Is this going to be my room forever?" He asked.

"Yes," Sara answered, with tears in her eyes. "I know you're hungry. Tell me what you want to eat and I'll make it for you."

"Anything?" He asked.

"Anything in the world," Sara said, wiping tears.

"Can we get a cheeseburger?" Darren asked.

"You want a cheeseburger? Okay," Sara giggled happily. She ran into Warrick and she smiled as she moved past him quickly and went to the kitchen.

Sara leaned against Warrick as they watched Darren eat to his heart's content. His little legs swung freely under the table because they could not yet reach the floor.

Sara chuckled.

"He's so cute and perfect," Sara whispered. "And I love him as if he were my own."

She felt Warrick kiss her cheek.


End file.
